First Quarter

How time flies; in a blinking of an eye we've come to the end of March,
having gone through the first quarter of the year.
In the past 3 months drastic changes took place in my life,
accompanied with a blend of emotions and a change of mindset.
Some of the most important choices of my life were made in the past three months;
right now, I am living on the consequences of some of these decisions that were proven to be too idealistic at times.

In just three months I experience a change in my lifestyle and environment;
formerly a normal salaried worker at a cozy little supermarket,
I soon find myself in one of the nation's top institution,
and I have to admit that till now I'm still having problems trying to adapt to such changes.
There's also a drastic change in the type of people I work with and come across;
formerly only ordinary people from the neighbourhood whom most are easy to understand,
now I'm face off with some of the country's elite whose thoughts are actions are unpredictable.
The sudden change in environment stripped me of the usual optimism and happy-go-lucky attitude,
leaving me to find my way out alone in this unfamiliar environment.

In everything we do, I believe that the first step is always the hardest;
right now, I'm facing with the usual struggle that one would face when there's a shift in the equilibrium of life,
but this time round everything seems so much tougher, so much unpredictable,
and every wrong step come at a larger consequence.
No longer is this the usual protective environment that I'm used to for 4 years of secondary education;
the people here are never genuinely to help,
nor do the people here forgive and forget easily,
and neither do the people put others before themselves in all situation.

While I recall of the days whereby I undergone some of the toughest days of my life,
I realized that those days were nothing, really nothing,
compared to the situation of the current reality.
At the very least, primary school was all a breeze;
in secondary school you had all those kind souls who are willing to lend a helping hand whenever a stranger needs one,
and a second chance is always given whenever you've done something presumably wrong.
These days, people do not give a thought about others, and the stereotype they give are there forever.

I wonder if all the kind souls are just yet to be identified,
or are all of them gone for good.

Grumbling and nagging are inevitable at the start of everything;
isn't that what we do all the time when there's a change being made?
But well, facing off with another tidal wave of life, this time of a larger magnitude,
one can't help but feel insecure and worried and afraid.
Having gone through phases of life that confuses one at the start and led one to emerge victorious at every end,
how I wish this would be the case for whatever that I'm undergoing now.

Lagging behind in academics, not having a healthy social life;
sometimes I just wish that all these are just another test of my endurance,
and I will survive and emerge champion by the end of everything.
Sometimes I don't know how am I going to deal with all the current problems;
yet when I come to recall about it, often I'm left without clear directions how to deal with problems in my life.
All the time, solutions just come to me naturally,
bringing me to where I am supposed to be.
I guess, and I hope, this time I'm at the correct location.

Now I am at the very last lap of everything;
I just hope that all's well ends well,
everything could just end with one beautiful happy ending at the last chapter.
After all, things have been like a storybook-
every saga you come across a new adventure, meet new people,
undergo new challenges, fight new enemies, learn new things...

And then you move on.

And how I hope things were just as simple as how a storybook would be.

And how I hope those people were just as simple to predict as those I've came across.

And how I hope every problem would end off with large benefits like before.

Who knows what is in the front of the path everytime?
It is only till when we walk up to it and see it for ourselves.
It might be a treasure chest; it might be a trap.
It might be everything.
There may be ambush on the sides of this path; there may be a junction ahead.
There may be anything you've never expect of.

But all I knew is, for good or bad, since this is the path I choose to take,
then, I got to accept everything that comes my way, no matter good or bad.

And I believe, there is always an alternative way out of all troubles.

And from there, life goes on.

addressing to sb63

Dedicated to read sb63;

Dear reader,

Having seen your concerns and worries that you reflect to me upon my chatbox,
I guess it is more appropriate for me to approach you on a wider platform;
hence, I am dedicating this post to you,
to give you my definition of life, some of my past experiences, and words of advice.
I believe that you're somehow related to me one way or another,
and certainly you may have the perception that I'm a person of weak will,
or even one without courage to face the adversities of life.
Despite the perceptions that you might hold,
here in this post I just hope to counsel you upon your problem,
and perhaps, guide you to see the root of your problem and leads you towards your solution.

Understanding that your reason for 'giving up on life' is the lack of understanding the purpose of living,
as well as the 'soul-less' feeling that you felt inside you,
I hope that before you make a judgment on whether if your life worthwhile or not,
you should have asked yourself a few questions:
Why does the things occurring in your life makes you feel demotivated?
Why you feel that you might not have the ability to answer to your problems?
Have you ever gave a thought on what will happen to these problems when you choose the easy way out?

To begin with, I must get you to agree with me that life is never a bed of roses;
never were the things occurring upon us good incidents everytime,
and neither do ominous events strikes us at every opportunity.
You must understand that life have its ups and downs;
there are sun-shines and rainy days, and this is a fact that we got to live with.
Indeed now you might not have the ability to cope with the incidents happening upon you,
but I just want you to understand that life have its good and bad-
it is natural for you to go through tough times,
as everyone does.

As you mention of the lack of reason to live on,
I would like you to consider your statement once again:
is it a lack of reason to continue living,
or are your reasons not clearly defined enough and not strong enough?

I believe that all of us are born with a purpose in our life,
and things somehow, at a certain probability, occurs to us,
so that we will, through these channels for self-discovery,
better understand ourselves and our ability,
as well as having a clearer definition of our own life.
Therefore, I believe that whatever that is happening to you are not events that claim your reasons to live on;
they are, instead, challenges and test for you to define your limits,
to discover yourself, to understand yourself, and to have a clearer picture of things around you.
Such bad events do happen for a reason:
they are not there to put us off,
instead they are there to see if we are living with complacency or with gratitude.

I wouldn't say that life requires reason as fuel for its continuation;
what life requires to carry on is instead passion.
A person might have no reasons to live for the next day every night he sleeps,
but a passionate person will cherish his life,
for that he fully understand that each brand new day have something that he have yet to see and experience.
Certainly you are going through the toughest period of your life now;
but if you choose to give up at this moment and end everything once and for all,
then where do you find the path that leads you towards the beauty of life?

There are much to be cherish in life, and there are much to be celebrate of in life;
clearly, we live each day as it is and try to overcome all the obstacles in life,
is because that we firmly believe that there is beauty behind every drip of sweat and blood in life;
we go through challenges in life to prove our worth if we deserve the nice part of our life.
Whatever that you are going through now, I would say, are not events that cease your desire and reason for living;
they are testing indications to see if you deserve the good in your life.
Only when you manage to fix these challenges, then you'll prove that you deserve what that you've desire.
As what everyone says, No Pain, No Gain, isn't it?

I must also state importance and preciousness of our life;
sometimes we tend to find life being too worthless or bland,
is largely due to the fact that we take many things for granted and tend to to neglect their existence.
Hence, I would like you to spend some time thinking about this:
Are there any areas in life that you think you should be grateful of?
There are many people struggling against sickness and death daily to gain another additional day to see the sun rise and set...
So, is it a lack of reasons, or the negligence of long existing reasons that leads you to forget the good and fulfilling part of life?

Do remember that life is also a process of learning.
Things happen, so that we incur lessons from them,
and through these lessons, make ourselves stronger individuals, and learn to better cope with the challenges of life,
so that we may find our life to be more smooth sailing and fruitful.
Certainly such events may take away your will to carry on struggling in life,
but however viewing things from a different perspective,
you might find that all these challenges are trying to teach you something-
to be strong, to be determined, to be tolerant, to be magnanimous.

Never give up on life;
already life is short to begin with, why shorten it just because certain things happen,
and then makes you forget the good part of life, and neglect the bright side of things?
It might take will and courage to carry on struggling with your problems,
but do be reminded that it is all the struggling that refine you into a stronger person.
Everything does happen for a certain reason;
such things might be happening as a signal for you to understand yourself better,
and to find the true purpose in your life and see your hidden potentials.

Don't commit to silly acts, for such problems ain't worth the huge cost incurred;
I hope that my words have somehow helped you,
and do remember, no matter whatever problems that might occur to you,
I'm willing to lend a helping hand and a listening ear.
You may contact me at yi_tian_thung@hotmail.com, if you feel comfortable explaining your problems to me such that I can help you with a deeper analysis.

Remember, never give up, for that you never know what good things might be waiting for you in the road ahead.

In three words I can sum up about everything that I've learned about life. It goes on. - Robert Frost