wednesday.

The day before the last stand.

well, its another peaceful day again,
none other than lessons and more lessons.
surprisingly i manage to go through geog w/o being tired,
and also for the later part of the day.

time flies,
and tmr is the start of eoy.
well, somehow i cant feel the tension,
as you can see that im still blogging daily.
perhaps im addicted to blogging;
sometimes it teaches me how to show my thoughts and feelings in the right manner.

misunderstandings....they get deeper and deeper as time goes on, without clearing. i wonder if for once i could talk to you again, see the usual smile you had, and talk out everything nicely, understand wad both parties wants. playing....it seems much more diff as before. you kept quiet. but i feel the detest and hatred. the kind of feeling that 'i-dun-wanna-get-close-you'. im nvr mean that ur targeting...but deep in, you view me differently. that's all. wad i want is how things were like as before- smiles, laughter, joy. not misunderstanding that evolves into detest as they are not cleared.

dedicated to someone;
i dun think the person might read this.
well, sometimes, keeping quiet aint a good thing-
instead, misunderstandings gets deeper. for both parties.

well, time flies...
and soon, im gonna get banded away into another class. in less than a mth?
well, perhaps for once i should leave everything behind as i go...
but i cant bear to part.

Have a sake, put away all negative feelings; let's have another glass.

tuesday,

Fushicho rage: even mythical animals are still animals.

of course, my first line already tells you,
im not in a very good mood today.
well, im just fking pissed;
not gonna elaborate any further.
doesnt mean that i dun say anything means im wrong,
doesnt mean that no one tell you means you have no wrong.
on behalf of Justice and morals,
i'll teach you a lesson. at all cost.

had the lessons were drone drone drone all the way...
and things aint well as someone pissed me for the wrong perception.
had a kinda headache...and thinks im really gonna teach ehr a lesson.
not say i cant bear with it or wad, but, if i dun do anything, im just a coward!

and tuesday is wasted cuz of all this stuff.
well, gonna spent the whole afternoon studying ltr.

oh, and i met a bunch of pri sch kids at the interchange.
p5, and they were talking abt porn and sorta shyt.
i took the effort to lecture them for 15 mins,
and warn them the consequences(lawfully and morally).
these are the future dependants of the nation;
things will go wrong if they take a wrong step.

and then...time is going away bit by bit.
really nidda study hard. lyk mugging straight for 1/4 day.

well, kept thinking of the class stuff.
many diff cliques...and many diff personality.
perhaps at the end the tuesday incident will leave a patch on a cloth.
well, just hope that i can spend the rest of the days happily.
and thought of getting something for my class at the last day of school. lol.
some presents, or chocolates. lol.

These beautiful memories...all the cries, smiles, fun and frown.

monday.

well, this might be the last few moments i can spend with the blog,
before going onto recluse for eoys.

hmm, first thing,
run-the-road has currently been visited by 99 unique visitors(at 1433hrs),
over the short period of time.
i thank all visitors and avid readersfor your support,
and feel free to comment on any post on the tagboard.

today has been another okay day,
erm, well, lessons has been quite slack,
and then things were going all fine.

and home econs.
this is the very first time that i did it so successful;
even tcher was impress by the texture and colour of the mixture.
although ltr the cake sticks to the paper for a moment,
which was due to the hotness of the cake;
i later cooled it and it did not stick to the paper anymore.
so, gals, next time i will make it a better one...
you wouldnt have to complain of it sticking to the paper liao.
And i promise to make a chocolate cake for you, rite?

so, maybe i would wan to patent the recipe,
and then franchise with those huat kueh suppliers.
10 yrs down the road huat kueh will be choco flavour liao;
kids wun mind helping to clean the altar then!

then, all it turns well for today.
just have to chiong the last bit of tuition then i can rest.

I noe im kinda stupid, trying to pull your hair;
I noe im kinda idiotic, using such stupid tricks to get closer to you.
Erm, i dunno wad i can do....
But, can i be ur fren?

lol, dedicated to a person that i've been disiaoing these days.
hmm, find her an interesting person. lol.

and then, adventure again awaits me...
u nvr noe wad might happen the next second!

sunday.

hmm, seems lyk today is another boring day.
well, nids to get more runs,
as im not been exercising often and nids to build bakc that stamina;
plus all those pure dark chocolates vare killing me.
should not have mug those chocolates.
and 10.52, watch out hung ying, i will defeat that timing!

okay, dunno wad life has in stall for me today,
but plans are real simple.
gonna make huat kueh and then do some wk,
as well as prepare for tmr.
its the damn home ec test tmr,
well, cant just they let us cook something lyk steak or fish and chips?

spend the night sms-ing away,
while watching the tv.
hmm, its one of my old fren;
i really admire her,
she's pretty, she's physical fit, she's mulit talented,
and somemore, she's rich and she has a nice personailty.
hell where could u find someone lyk that in earth now?

well, had been thinking much of the class,
academics and then some social problems.
well, sometimes its a bit bad to see the class quarreling when everything's ending,
and then brings the hatred for the rest of ur life.
well, i wan a class chalet;
wanted to help samantha in a bit of organising,
or perhaps could get a parent who's an army officer to get us the officer's chalet.

well, its the same old things when i return to class tmr;
jeers, noise, a bit of quarrels, a bit of fun.
i still rmb the time when mr ron announced that i was outta fac;
i think only a few claps barhs.
well, maybe the class spirit is cmi in these two yrs one,
dunno whether the classmates will miss any of the class when they get promoted.

now the biggest problem with the class is down with only tuesday.
well, big problems, not small lyk last time.
well if i cant make things nice for her before the term ends,
i think i will bring a regret for my whole life. hmm.
i guess i just maybe have to cater to all her demands barh.
well, in a quarrel, usually one have to surrender first, isnt it?
i think perhaps catering to all her demands will makes things better.
well, i noe its hard to hate someone, dunno why things turn lyk this.
hmm, how i wish we can be frens lyk last time,
but now, if u can stop all the hatred, its enough.
maybe i'll just stop talking for some moment,
and then keep quiet when she pick bones outta eggs.
well, its still up to peception.

maybe gonna spent the rest of today slacking,
or chionging wk.
but i noe definitely tmr wun be too much nicer.
hope for the best barh.

saturday.

If people are going to make you bear the consequences of your dreams, then prove to them, and make them bear the consequences of their words.

its a pretty simple saturday for me,
without any events going on,
and just spending all the time at home.
i guess i have to really get into 100% ready position,
if not i will be KIA in eoy.

was thinking back on some memories.
erm, tuition days, when my family was much better then,
me and my bro had a private tutor.
perhaps i must really thank three person for my dialectical skils:
my mom, my p6 hcl tcher, and my tutor.
yea, those days were young and cheeky;
i had a real good cl tutor who taught me all her skills.
she even brought books back from china for my bro and i.
i think somehow part of my cl standard and debate skills are from her.

and thought of many many other stuffs.
and thinking of nowadays.
hmm, thinking of how the hell im gonna stop all the sit in the class.
things aint too good when a ***** is trying to kp u abt everything u do.
maybe sometimes we must bring out the old laws,
of 'shut ur trap and eat ur shit' then give her a good beating.
well, no more bloodshed, after six gd yrs at mps.

somehow, i really hope for the yr to end soon;
on the other hand, i dun.
i hope that it will end soon,
so all the shit i get will come to an end,
and no more ***** kp me all the day,
no more fking stereotypes,
no more oil tank.
but i wished that the yr dun end;
i cant bear to part with my clique,
well, perhaps i think...
i'll miss fighting with ECMT over the urinal,
i'll miss dav-san trying to open all our bags searching for wk to copy;
i'll miss jx-kun showing his sacarsm,
i'll miss ken's unique blurness.
i'll also miss onee-sama frequent pats on the shoulder,
i'll miss those men talks with RAR.

maybe after this show has end,
i have to go back to being the gentleman i am in reality.
taking off the costumes of a joker and bragger,
back to the gentleman with an extreme coolness.
but,
我洗去胭脂，何去何从？

two yrs...seriously, i learn too much.
i met true frens, i met true foes.
i dunno wad am i exactly lingering over,
i dunno wad am i exactly giving up on.
but, it was all this bitter sweet memories we had,
that makes life interesting.

friday.

"I've always love eating chocolates.
Not Kit Kat or Timeout,
but those dark, black, chocolates.
Those bitter bitter ones,
with a little bit of sweetness in it.
You might ask me why I love bitter chocolates,
because, eating bitter chocolates is just like life.
Life is much more of bitter when you face up with troubles,
but learn to see things another way,
you will surely feel a little bit of sweetness.
It's more about learning in life;
Going through all these bitter stuff,
will not only make you used to its bitter taste,
but also giving you experience from all incidents.
Soon, you'll learn to experience life,
and appreciate the bitterness out of it,
learning, savouring, and thinking."

- Fushicho(Boss).

ok, back to the main story.
so today i finally got hold of the Ye Peng huat kueh recipe.
and gonna make things outta it.
hope it wun makes my HE stays at the C and B grades anymore.

and all along the whole day had been quite peaceful and boring.
quite. except for some parts there's a nit of fire with someone.
nah, not gonna elaborate on that. let her be.

and somehow, RAR was in a 40% mood today.
perhaps its cuz of the intelligence i gave him.
and then, he told me,
'im a person with a heart make of muscles.'

kao, this send me into deep thinking.
had i gone numb with bgr thingys,
or have i seen through and went beyond hito hito no mi?
i dunno. sometimes, it hard for me to smile, to get angry, to get sad.
troubles comes, i dunno how the hell i can stay put and fight it off, calmly.
and i dun get panic easily. i dun get agitated easily.
i view things easily. when it screws, i fixed.
when i lost, i fight it back. simple.

maybe all those experience from last yr made me too strong.
too cool, till the point im sosphicated.
all those alone days made me strong, made me calm;
i could easily fight off troubles.
i analyse better than many. i gained leadership.

perhaps things always comes with a price.
gaining high EQ means losing all the primitive moods and feelings of human.
maybe that's a price too high to pay.
but then, its worth it.

well, i really lyk my clique somehow.
with ppl lyk dav-san, ECMT, jx-kun. and ken.
ppl who had the same common interest.
but yet, portray diff thinkings and personality.
perhaps getting to noe them is one of the best things in my life.
all the weals and woes, the fights and parties,
all those jokes and sacarsm..unforgettable memories.

till today, i have to wear a mask to school,
and force myself to be angry and sad when its time to do so.
well, sometimes it just seems weird,
when you see yitian being too strong and calm,
too cool to the point that he can do a soru run, a tekai block,
and then a shigan at his foes.
well, if yitian is of wad he is actually, things would be too weird.
i guess nobody would lyk me to be,
link with the words gentleman, dashing, strength and wits.

well, exams are coming soon.
which means the yr's ending soon.
and 2e3's affinity ending soon.
well, thanks peeps,
for all you gave me.

thursday.

dumbfolded, rooted, nothing else.
wad you said, left me with no words.

i read fel's blog.
and she address everything regarding ytd's incident.
okay, btw, we settled everything b4 10pm ytd nite.
so, im here just to say some of my feelings.

well, at first i took the comment so seriously,
was firstly, we're in the public,
and secondly, i dun take it as a joke as i tot we aint that close.

but then, wad she wrote at her blog,
left me with no words.
nothing but remorse, shame, guilt.
"...But I was a little disappointed though.

I thought we were close enough for you to take my words like my steads.

But I was wrong I guess. All those phone calls just accumulated to nothing."

to think that she still rmb those few calls,
those things that were ages back.
to think she still rmb this friendship.
so that's why she took it as a joke.
(sorry i didnt mean to copy things from ur blog..but..)

i rmb those calls.
talking abt hw, and some other stuff. stupid but fun.
maybe that was how our frenship started. and built on those calls.
for once i thought u forgotten those calls.
but yet, u rmb, u rmb this frenship. i have nothing to say.

i treasured you very much as one of my best frens,
and once i thought its game over for this frenship,
until ytd nite. well, still, very sorry for all the stuff ytd.
and when i knew that u still view me as a fren,
and rmb those calls, there's a kind of pierce in the heart chambers.
because, i still have such a gd fren lyk you.
still, must apologise for all that attitude,
i think....it will not sabotage our frenship, rite?

oh, and btw,
read abt another thing in her blog.
"...Sometimes, you make a joke that you think is a joke.

But what did my stead think? It’s not a joke, you did it deliberately.

Did you apologise?..."

seriously,
maybe i should be much, much more discreet in my words all the time.
or just shut up for a moment.
maybe its all this unintention words that cause all misunderstand.
perhaps that was the reason that made me lost a fren.
well, also want to apologise to the class,
if any of my jokes and words had offended you,
it was purely of unintention.

well, i think i will end here for today,
and get starting for some relaxing stuff.
erm, orange juice and comics?
let's end this with a quote:

To get out of a difficulty, one usually must go through it
- Samuel Easton

wednesday part II.

I couldn't stop laughing.
those kind of 'luffy laughing at zoro's shitty sense of directions while banging table'
kind of laugh.
laughing, laughing at you.
laughing at your human nature.
but has to bear it as anson is sitting beside me playing farmville.

i really dun wish lyk going against your statement after reading your blog.
i only seriously feels so much lyk laughing.
laughing at the human nature of yours.
(luffy bangs table with a big laugh and zoro is fuming hot.)

yes, its alright, when u're trying to justify for ur fren.
but have you ever think, wad fault has ur fren did to make me lost such temper?
never, did ya? only thinking that im the one at fault at start,
im the one finding trouble, im the one writing shit.
god damn it, tuesday, u just makes me feel lyk laughing.
because...the stereotype is there!

well, lets have a secenario.
abt me and david.
we think wadever thing that huiwen do is extra, is wrong.
that's just a plain stereotype; i believe all of us gives stereotype.
and esp when the scenario takes place with ur gd fren and ur stereotype.
aha, that's when all biased thinking comes.

u talk abt tolerating, seriously, to a pt i agree with that.
but wad do u think, when ECMT, dav-san and jx-kun is so damn pissed with ur laughter,
and ur bitchiness?

sometimes, i kept reading ur 'tolerating' and ur 'forgive and forget'.
i seriously cannot stop laughing, because...
u have nvr done that anw!!! forgive and forget?
mah, if u done that u wouldnt have typed that post.

u noe wad? its because there's ppl lyk u in this world..
ppl lyk u that steps on justice with ur biased thoughts...
thats why we are having, an unfair world.
and when u ask for poplar demand...
i think, its just that u want to portray the stereotype u have for me.

i really have no words to say for you liao,
cuz, seriously, u're hopeless. how far can that kind of mindset go?
i've once thought lyk you. until once i fell hardly and i awakened.

its a life process that everyone has to go through barh,
trying to justify that they are right,
trying to prove that others are wrong,
and trying to garner support for their testimonials.
i've no anger for you, despite that u have just shame me in ur blog;
cuz, a person who doesnt understand real honour cant do much anw.
im here blogging now late at night, not cuz i wan to rebut,
but i believe i nid to give my readers an explanation.

seriosuly larh, change...
when i try changing have you accept not?
nvr den dun talk so much crap.

i seriously laugh hard at ppl lyk you.
with the unorthodox perception,
unknowing of wad the society wans,
and end up destroying the name of justice and honour.
only know abt wad is nice to you and not.
everytime u tried to trigger something to piss me off,
i couldnt stop laughing;
u ppl are seriously, thinking from the wrong side of the track.
attitude problem...c'mon, i dun really mind that;
most of my frens have no probs with that,
the kind of luffy laugh and standing up for honour.
its you ppl that have a problem.

been through, seen through.
these kinds of situation,
i once told mr ivan that 'everyone has to go through, no matter at wad age',
because only going through, they can grow up.
i am not offended, and not angry with ur biased post,
wad matters is, if u wan to think that way,
then good luck have fun.
i once think that way, and lost everything i have;
it even cost me my promotion.
i dunno wad this kind of thinking has in stall for you,
but seriously, believing wad u think is correct,
will not help all the times.

i dunno wad does ur fren has to shoot that comment,
then i have to make a post to uphold honour,
then u come up with a post naming 'lessons'.
its up to ur choice larh, lyk i say, its perception wad.
diff ppl have diff perception.
my perception has change many many times,
and ending up now,
with loyal and faithful frens lyk ECMT.

let me give readers a comment that SSG S X CHIAM gave me:
'sometimes, change ur perception; maybe u'll find a better road to view and do things.'

wednesday.

There's nothing such as right or wrong; its just on your own perception. But definitely something always remain to separate yes and no: Justice

PS: pls read the whole post to get the whole idea.

its another simply-absolutely normal day again.

well, everything was going all so well,
and its hard to find almost silence in the class this morning.
wad breaks the kind of dormant mood is when something happened.
and of course, when i say something, it doesnt sounds nice.

okay, so things went on lyk this.
it was right after morning parade,
and we're suppose to return to our classes.
well, i saw okama-chan spamming the lock;
it just seems lyk he dunno the code,
and dear classmates are waiting outside the classroom.
so, i just went forward, gently shoved okama-chan away,
and open the lock.

ECMT was beside me. MKXP too.
and there is 37. he tried to peek the code.
of course, past events proved him not a trustworthy person.
so i gently shoved him aside. and yet he still came forward to peek.
of course, i gently shoved him aside once more, until someone said this:
'aiya, ******, just let him have a chance to act pro larh.'
blood never boils any higher then.

a chance? act pro?
NAN DAI YO!!!
it was all round only a 0.001% haki stare,
already giving much face to RAR.
and i just shoved the door hard aside while entering,
and she shouted, 'eh u just knock ******!'
i gave a 0.002% haki shout. 'TIAM LARH'.
already giving much face, nvr adding 'cb', 'nb'.
and yet, i think she went angry,
unknowing wad absolute insult and mistake she made.

giving a chance to act pro...
not only this just dishonour me in front of 2e3,
but also a comment of insult.
act pro..act pro...
im not angry of you calling me 'act pro'(extraordinary doesnt have to act pro; they are),
but is the way u insulted me.
if u say act pro maybe i would let that go,
but adding giving a chance...
THIS ONLY MAKES ME SOUND SO PATHETIC,
LIVING OFF THE MERCY AND ATTITUDES OF OTHERS.
BY SAYING GIVING A CHANCE AND ACT PRO,
THAT JUST THROWS AWAY MY HONOUR, SHAME ME,
AND EVEN AGREE TO THE FACT OF TREATING ME,
AS A 'SECOND CLASS CITIZEN' WHEN YOU USE 'GIVING A CHANCE'.

out of goodwill i want to open the door,
and let classmates enter to save time.
out of goodwill i help them out in opening the door.
out of goodwill, THIS IS THE SHIT I ****ING GET.

i demand apology.
if not, then dont blame me next time!!!

~~~

this incident sets me into thinking the whole day.
perception. yes, its all about perception.

some ppl think saying some words are alright. some dun.
some ppl thinks doing some stuff is fun. some dun.
i dun think 'giving a chance to act pro' is just only a casual remark.
however, she begs differ.

sometimes i dun blame u gals for having a diff perception from me.
i know, we are all different.
but things are always wrong when you cross the line,
ESPECIALLY ON MY HONOUR!
u ppl hardly took it to understand for everyone,
u ppl hardly took it to accept everyone,
u ppl seems nvr to decline one weak points and appreciated one's good points,
but it seems that you ppl ignore the good points,
and take the weak points as a stereotype.

i noe its just about different perception,
but can sometimes, u ppl be more sensitive?
doesnt means that other keeps quiet all times,
means that there is nth wrong.
we are just bearing. bearing with that attitude.

i hope u can understand wad i mean.
i dun wan to make an extra foe.
noe ur mistakes, apologise,
i can swore frenship with my life on.
but if u dun wanna wake from dillusion,
then...its up to you.

i hope that this post can give an advice to all readers.
'learn to understand and accept eveyone, treating all with the same perception.'
'learn to to take one's weak points as a stereotype.'

i dun wish to see similar incidents again.
if it does, and happens on me...
"i've not try out the muscles after vigorous trng...who wans a broken rib?"

Not just learn to accept and understand, but view all with the same perception.

tuesday.

豆大的雨点慢慢落下，
走在身旁的女孩，
也加快了步伐，
赶紧往家的方向跑去。

今天就如平常一样，
课，照上； 饭，照吃。
好像没设么特别的事发生，
不过，心里总是有一种。。。一种伤感。

回顾了今天所做的一切，
不仅让我自己觉得自己可笑，也可悲。

已经与这个班度过了近两年的时间了，
然而，知觉似乎告诉我，
他们是接受了我，然而，决不想与我同在一个班上。
面对他们给与的反派眼光，他们的坏印象，
心里，有一种无奈的感受。

曾几何时，他们真正的接受了我的个性，
曾几何时，他们真正的把我当一个普通少不了的同学对待；
曾几何时，他们曾把那坏印象扔一旁，
对我如队同他人呢？
曾几何时，曾几何时。。。
太多太多的曾几何时，
让我遗忘了原来的我。

我并不想永远做反派人物。
我并不想做这种人。
当我想改过时，
有谁肯把那从前的反派印象丢掉，
我让真正改过自新？
然而，我今日会如此，
只不过是满足你们心里的想法，
做这班的反派罢了。
做反派也好，做自己也好；
在大多数人的心中，
我永远都是一个反派，
永远都是一个又吵又烦的人。

班上少了我，
好像少了许多悲伤，
好像少了许多争吵；
友人少了我，
可能也只是吃饭桌子少了一脚，
能借功课抄的人少了一个。

一年多了，
有多少的人真正接受我，
有多少的人真正对我改观？
当初犯了一个错，
就得继续错下去，
眼你们心中的反派，
满足一个班的坏人角色。

有时，
好像真正做回自己，
但是，面具取下，何去何从？
有谁会了解我变了，
有谁会了解我并不是那么的一个人呢？
有时，泪水忍不住落了下来，
但他们都随风飞去，

好像告诉大家，我并不是那么的一个人，
但是，有谁会相信？有谁会去体会我？

心中的无声呐喊，得不到人的关心，
心中的苦衷，无人可去谅解。
我要的，并不是接受；
你们的接受，是勉强迎许一个“反派”在这班上度过两年；
我要的是认同，是谅解，是改观。
之前做了那么多，无人可看；
现在错了那么多，千夫指则。

当年错了一步，
只好满足大家需求继续错下去；
今日， 想回首时，
遗忘了原本的自己。
大家说，知我没有融入这班；
老实说，你们曾真正让我遗好人的身份融入？

现在的我，
只是做来满足大家的印象；
我想，可能这个缘分，
就算是有缘无份吧，
因为，一失足成千古恨，
在回头一百年身。

错过的，实在是太多了。

monday.

I ran and ran, and never thought I will reach the gates. Luckily, I've survived.

okay, so basically i just came bk from breakfast/lunch.
and before that, i had a game of badminton with derek and aaron.
so heard that derek joined the tkss ncc(land),
a pretigious east unit with 8 yrs consecutive gold.
one east unit that can be on par with zhncc other than ahsncc.

and so,
really had not much plans for today,
just want to wrap up my work and prepare for tmr.
have this dunno wad tea drinking thingy tmr,
and feels lyk sitting with ECMT on the bus.
somehow, i really thank fate for letting me noeing ECMT,
cuz all along he had been one such gd fren. thanks ECMT.

and now i think...i finally understand.
finally understand the feelings,
how she felt when she just wants me to get away.
i only knew this...
when i wanted someone to get away from me.
i believe it's lord's grace,
putting me into her footsteps,
and noeing wad she wants me to do.
if maybe just hiding at a corner looking at her can makes her feels better,
i'll gladly do that.

just now, i saw a nakama emo-ing.
that just pushed me into deeps thoughts,
deep thoughts of whether who will help me when im down.
i rmb all the times when im down with nothing...
it was all myself who pull me up.
i dunno why i had such strong spirits,
able to overcome obstacles easily.
i dunno why, im made this way.

somehow, sometimes i really admire my hairdresser.
i've been a regular customer of her since last yr.
wad makes me keep asking for her service,
is not just the skills that she has,
but also her gd temper.
maybe i've always have a liking for gals that are gd temper.
those that forgive and forget easily,
those that can lend u a hand when u're down,
those that actually stands by u even if u're wrong.
but alas, such gals are rare species.
how i hope i've meet another one.

really, feels damn low and random these few days.
maybe a cup of tea tmr might help to regain the vigour.

When such a boy meets such a gal, things doesn't get any better -RAR.

sunday.

its another sunday,
but thank god tmr is a public holiday,
giving me much more time to rest,
as well as to finish wadever admin and hw stuffs left.

still thinking of wad she said to me ytd.
and thinking of one of my nakama's circumstances in her family.
i begin to visualise justice calling me.

i rmb for once i pledge to the supreme lord that,
i will render a service for justice,
in exchange for two yrs of fate.
well, after hearing my fren's story,
i didnt expect this pact to come so fast.
so many things happened in one day,
and enlightened me much, much more.

i rmb when i was typing part II of ytd post,
one of my classmates send me an instant msg,
showing support as a fren.
well, this kinda let me understand,
'im not alone.'

and just realise that i have been writing for near to a yr on this blog,
from writing immatured crap to matured crap,
i wonder if there's any avid reader and fans of my blog.
even if there is, i doubt there will be a lot.

for today and ytd,
the word justice is circulating my mind lyk mad.
and coincidentally, i watched SPL on tv ytd.
on movie on somehow justice.
and it was lyk,
'alrite since there's so many clues to take this path, i shall take it!'

justice, wad a hard word for definition,
and yet, wad an easy deed to spot.
perhaps, sometimes, justice triumphs everything.

sometimes, life really needs justice,
life really needs equality.
if life doesnt have it, then...
fight for it!
even if you die fighting for it, its alrite;
because, for once you fight for something that you want!

PART II

yay, there's a part two for today!

okay, just bathe after i came bk from the hairdresser.
had a haircut. and got another trademark on me.
other than phoenix's eyes and eyebrows,
my next trademark is the slightly sloped chicken backside hair on my back.
this just enhance the fushicho appearance more. haha.

manage to complete my lit,
and somehow study a bit of phy.
and now, im thinking of something...
just have to say it, if not it will really get on my nerves.
and it goes lyk this:

'dear nakama,
after reading wad u have typed on ur msn name,
the only expression and feelings that i can get is only WTF.
if its oneechan or onee-sama who typed this for me,
i would have fking happily hit the ceiling for my hse.

but see, i noe for fking once u have felt something for me,
and then had some messenger to tell me(courteosy of aaron, how i wish a chio bu tell me that),
but see...our personality doesnt fits,
we cant really get along(except being normal frens),
and u're not the type i go for.
and pls erase all the comments u wan tell me on ur display name,
if not the whole red rose will be finding me for ans.

i dunno is cuz hardly anyone care for u or wad(that happens to me though),
but seriously....we are just frens.
i dunno if that feeling of urs had died out.
and i dun care, cuz i only go for extremes woman,
(extreme hyper/drama, extreme sporty, but i still lyk ppl lyk nico robin :D )

in advance, dun think treating me well will make us improve..
cuz, we are none other than frens.'

wah, say finish liao.
maybe sure tio kena byn other ppl one.
but i bet my avid readers are going to support me,
on behalf of the previous post i write?

im getting damn random now,
cuz lyk...just random lorh.
had been deeply hurt,
and has no mood for something new.
perhaps if fate has it,
maybe i'll meet a real nice chio bu(both on looks and personality),
and make the greatest fren ever.

saturday.

Tagbacks :)

verene: hihi!
yingjia:okays..and thanks a lot!! :D

its another saturday again.
somehow, i have no target for today,
and has no motivation for any revision.
stared blankly at the com,
figuring wad to do to kill time.

kept thinking on some stuff.
its the same old stuff,
class, company, mates, frens.
and today's the first day of lunar eight month.
mid autumn coming soon. mooncakes. hahas.

somehow, just feels quite unmotivated.
dunno why. and then,
really wans a suna suna no mi.
but that's impossible.

Whether or not... Sky Island exists... Whether the city of gold is a legend... Or a reality... Those things do not interest me. Before you acted on such foolish dreams... You should have listened to the opinions of others!!
- Donquixote Doflamingo

PART II

a part that i dun wan to write,
but i have to.

just sort things out with a person.
'irritating, loud, ****ing.'

really, that is all she thinks of me.
two yrs come, two yrs passed...
all turns into nth but dust,
having nowhere to settle.

i duno why when all the class can accept me..
and yet, she cant. prejudice.
i can just brush this matter off,
but, i dun wish to see how two classmates ending up as enemies.

u wan me to disappear from ur life, can.
u wan me not to come into contact with you, can.
but dun use the word 'fren' to hide all this hatred.
u noe wad? ur words just killed me. again.

how i really hoped for a frenship with u..
but two yrs come, two yrs passed...
nothing came out.
just because im loud, and used to be irritating.
all lyk this?

perhaps this is not meant to be.
perhaps, this is the ending.
i didnt want it, but it has to be.
i just wan to talk nicely,
but u sentence me to death.
class...
if i have thought of not being part of 2e3..
i would not join the lit play,
not saying staying bk for so long.
wad abt david?
i dunno whether u treated me as one..
but then, even if u had,
u havens how it by anyway to tell me,
'u're part of 2e3'.

today, seeing things turning this way...
im just an irritating person,
loud, useless, and negative.

i could only slowly drink sake now,
i nid to hold bakc those tears dropping down.
i nid to cup the feelings that worn me out,
i could only, only sip sake of a glass, alone,
to hide these feelings and sadness.

who is there to hold me up?
who is there to give me encouragement now?
who is there to tell me,
' stand straight, walk firm; u still have 6 stages to go.'
who is there to tell me,
' alrite, she discarded u, but u have me, a nakama!'

i nvr felt care when im down.
i nvr felt concern when im down.
that makes me more eager to make frens.
but it just screwed up.

all i knew,
from the start,
it has been a beautiful lie,
which everyone noes, but not me.
setbacks, all i have from last yr,
i could hold those tears back,
but why not now?

can anyone now, lend me ur shoulder,
or a piece of tissue?

friday.

Respect is not gained, but earned.

had a long day today,
and so many things happened,
which are really worth my thinking.

the usual lessons just screwed the days,
and really had no motivation for today.
only looked forward to ncc after hrs.
have weibin acted as my messenger for today,
and after getting a reply,
my next thoughts were,
"can we meet at mac after sch on tuesday or wednesday?"
well, of course not for a meal,
but have something to say.
and it is link to wad alan and junli told me.

ncc.
with the part b left to rake care of things,
cocking up some places is a definite.
nevertheless, we manage to do a gd job,
teaching drills, pt, interaction...
great thanks to BC and ck ng for their wonderful day.
well, first time taking over the company,
thoughts aint on whether how gd/bad juniors are,
but, 'TOGETHER, WE CAN MAKE MIRACLES.

the specs came bk and we had a game of bball before a talk.
chatted with alan and junli;
somehow, it reminds me of my sad past,
as we mentioned of some uncooperative ppl,
some no teamwork, some outcast.
talked abt how ppl nids to experience,
in order to noe how to understand others.
experience hell last yr,
i changed damn lot. it was alan's words,
which simply reminds me of how much i've changed,
how much improvement i've made,
and also answered to my question(nth to do with ncc).

nakama. ordinary frens. classmates.
these words circulated my mind on my way hm from sch.
i think, its always grat affinity that i came across with zhncc.
ppl lyk brandon, ck ng, all loyal nakama that gone through thick and thin with me.
sometimes, i really thank zhncc for everything they gave me.
for all these, i always wanted to return these favours, to the company.
zhncc, or even BC..the guy that always stood by me,
the crew that always stood by me. thanks guys.

talking abt frens..hahas. had sth to share.
i received two notes today.
erm, a long one and short one.
the long one;
talking abt that...okay she mentioned that she treated me as a fren,
and just jacked me for comical effect.
my only comments were, well, i nidda talk to you. at mac.
and there's another short one;
its just a plain simple favour,
but yet, it tells me: you're a nakama.
arigato, onee-sama.

so many things happened today,
that causes me to reflect on myself.
sometimes, i always wonder;
if ppl could think from other perspective and from other ppl's shoes,
wouldn't they understand more?
perhaps, this is the reason,
which eventually cause me to change.

Going to deliver Bink's Sake; with a DON.

hahas, its another one piece picture.
marco the phoenix from whitebeard pirates,
and thanks to the guy who colored this pic.
he's the third guy i lyk on the side cast side,
after doflamingo and ace.

okay, shall be saying something important to someone,
the person named Qw on my tagboard(obviously i deleted all the tags by this person),
and the message from me go lyk this:
'i said that sentence that i said to you to all my nakama,
some i even pledge my life on, lyk oneechan.
i get ur idea....but, warera nakama!
its impossible. i only goes for sporty ppl.'

and since the msg is done, i shall begin on today.

same old boring schedule,
and didnt screwed art today. hahas,
and the oncoming drone drone lessons kept me damn sian.
for the whole day a particular person has been jacking me(lol?),
okay, i dun mind. hahas.
and things goes on until the end of lessons.

targeted the most sporty gal in my class today,
just trying to disiao her, that's all.
i was seriously taken aback when she mentioned that she did PUSH UPS at home,
and it was the MAN STYLE somemore.
but that isnt wad that makes me respect her;
i rmb it was her acting skills and high emotional quotient that took me back.
and tried to pull off her hairband(i noe its lame),
and of course, i failed.

and it was the audition for lit play this afternoon.
gave a gd performance with my voice,
but ltr i went out to meh the whole of e4 cuz they're too noisy,
esp when i was performing for the climax.
this might have just affected the skills of the female lead and supporting male lead,
i hope next time ppl just can be more considerate.

and then, of course i came home,
and feels so gd,
cuz tmr part b is temporarily taking over the company.
haha, koh chin and ck ng,
we gonna rawk them all alive!
gonna joke around with the part a,
and interact more. hehehs.

and then, im all prepared, for a brand new day.

你可能恨透了我，
你可能使我如恶。
但是， 就让我在远远的某个角落，
做那看护着你的月光，
做那守护着你的天使。
我不奢望你能对我好， 把我当作友人看待，
但是， 就让我在你失望的时候，
给你肩膀依靠；
就让我在你开心的时候，
为你喝彩欢呼；
就让我在你遇到任何危险时，
让我为你当子弹。
我不希望得到你，
我只要你好好活着；
答应我你每天都能开心度过，
答应我你不会再为小事生气伤心。

要记得，就算世界以往你的时候，
你，还有个我。

sometimes, really, things are easy to let go, but hard to forget.
and when the hell i become so damn emotional?!

wednesday.

Pirates are evil!!? The Marines are righteous!!? These terms have always changed throughout the course of history...!!! Kids who have never seen peace and kids who have never seen war have different values!!! Those who stand at the top determine what's wrong and what's right! This very place is neutral ground!!! Justice will prevail, you say!? But of course it will!!! Whoever wins this war becomes justice!!!
- Donquixote Doflamingo

the above comment again,
let me have even higher respect for the creation for doflamingo.
though he might only be a small fry character, and looks weird,
but his words had nvr not to make sense to me.

okay, so its another day in sch.
kao, the dishonouyr ytd already makes me sian for sch today.
and david came bk. nvr fail to disiao us at the toliet.

the plain boring timetable almost killed me.
sometimes, you just want a change.
and had to stay bk for lit play again.
so damn sian.

after sch went to eat in canteen.
talked abt being dishonoured ytd, i just gets more and more angry.
to a sense that i nvr explode.
and half of this fire was extinguish,
when i disiao a gal outside sch. just outside sch.
looks quite cute, hahas.

and the play went on.
many times quarrels almost started,
but always nice ppl lyk kelly is thr to prevent it.
and it ended lyk...nothing lorh.
prepare to die tmr.

and after awakening from all those dreams and illusion,
it isnt hurt and sadness that penetrate my brain and heart.
but, its even more determination and strength.
i have to prove to them that im worthy,
and to make them regret.
i have to prove, that im a strong man.

and then. really thought through alot.
'all the more i nid to complete my operation.' i thought.

and then, i really hope somehow...
sometimes maybe if even she shot me down,
i hope she can really treat me lyk a classmate.
cuz, i feel nth for her now.
and then, if anytime u nid to compliment or comment me,
do that in private.

and then...after much events, and things today,
finally, came to realise, sometimes, we have to see and do as we think.
and then, we have to make the best outta everything, sometimes.

now, im in a damn normal mood.
all i want, is to either become an actor...or a maritime captain.

well, hope's all the oncoming events goes well.

tuesday.

Awfully. Awaken.

alot of things happened.
and really dun wan to elaborate on them.
but still, one thing i must say. pe lesson.
mr ron told the class i was outta fac.
and ask them for their support and applause.
only around less than 6 ppl clapped.
i heard six. and saw one.
she's showed me, for all along, she treated me as a classmate.
arigato, onee-sama.

perhaps. after so long,
i must say, i have really awakened.
its kind of painful, its kind of upset.
still, i wake up. from dillusion.
i've lost.

that very moment, the asura in me conquered me lyk nvr before.
rage and bellicosity took over me.
it tore my heart. it tore my feelings.
and yet, it tore my honour.
i vented it all on the notice board.
i vented it shouting.
i vented, i cried.

nvr ever had gave a damn.
nvr ever turn back and look.
okay, i accept that reality and walk on with life.
but im just pathetically, stronger. stronger.

ever since the very day i wanted this dillusion,
i gave up fame, power, wealth for this dillusion.
ever since i gave them up, i gained back the primitive feelings.
okay, life goes on, you killed them. but, whr else can i go.

was having a drink with martin in the canteen.
three voices suddenly spoke in my head,
'A: it seems lyk u're utterly defeated.
B: u lost, my fren. to something that have despise you.
C: aha, you're desserted, and ur heart is torn!
B: but nvr to forget all the timesd we spent last yr.
A: but nvr to forget how u perservere for us.
C: but nvr to give up, life goes on, show that u can do better, ouka-sama!
A, B, C: the world might give up on you, but not us!!! '

their names were ambition, aspirations, and...dream.

no choice, but to give up.
life goes on.
i might sounds friggin pathetic,
but im really that.
daijoubu minna, im alrite!
even if im down to one man,
but i still have them: ambition, aspiration, dream.
its time...i've seen it all.
arigato.

A great fall, but not to worry.
Life goes on, just like before.
Take a rest, take a breathe,
Cry when sad, laugh when glad.
Lost it, then shall it be,
Because life goes on,
no matter what.
Give yourself a tap, pull yourself up;
More adventure awaits you,
In the near future.

It's a past, it's a tragedy;
Forget them, life goes on!
The sun still shine, the time still goes.
Bear in your mind,
Be strong, be strong.

Live the best, after a rest,
A short break, for a longer walk.
Life goes on, as usual,
Be yourself, smile and walk.

Life goes on, life goes on,
Pathetically, life goes on!
It's your life, walk it on,
Life goes on, till deathbed.
No more tears, no more joy,
It's a fresh, brand new day.

Cry no more, laugh no more,
No matter what, till eternal.
World's betrayal, peers desertion,
But still, you still have yourself.

Set sail, steer the rudder;
I take over the helm,
I sail the seas.
Today, its another big setback,
But let's hold through it,
To watch the sunrise tomorrow.

monday.

It doesn't get any better.

so, a new term started off today.
wad suprises me is that the orienteering team,
HAD CAME TO JOIN FAC.
with me, the knight of FAC and the orient team,
FAC had turn into one of the fittest team in zhss. hahas.

then was lessons such as hcl and math..
and slack through.
after recess was a slack period,
two hours somemore.
played and joke around. hahas.

then. at the end of the day,
was talking to the class abt the lit play.
didnt had much time left now till thurs,
and i had to take the helm cuz the director went to eat watermelon.
then most of the classmates seems reluctant to listen..and to stay tmr.

well, 2e3, look.
we are now in the same boat,
and i seriously dun wan to disappoint mdm ng and dave.
we have to get all this done tgt, and as a class!
i dun mind that if tmr only half of the class turns up,
but at least the props and stage nid to be present.

and then...as i was getting the class for this,
saw that the most hyper enthu person in our class could actually lyk..
dance after a long time then sit down.
maybe the person's busy or nvr took notice,
but from this, i knew that the person might nvr give much of a damn of this play.
and the person didnt lyk...have much thoughts for it.

the class was in this kind of state long ago,
but wad the person showed utterly disappoint me.
the person suppose to be the most hyper enthu,
and yet this time, another class thing, as one of the leads,
the person could actually not care much.
maybe it might be the reason that im the male lead,
maybe it might be that she's tired of all this stuff.
but...im just disappointed.

The first time you caught my eye,
I hope our hearts could be as one.
Now, feeding silk into a broken loom,
Surely not a bolt of cloth can be made.

i thought i do stand a chance.
i thought for once, you might had taken notice of me.
but now, things are worse than before.
but why lyk that to me when you can be nicer to others?
just pure stereotype?
maybe all along its a dream of my own.
maybe all along its just an illusion.
i gave in everything, but you threw them away.
now, im awaken from this dream...
by the same devil that sends me slping!

i just hope it all turns good tmr.
because, its a long time i ever use haoushoku haki,
ever since i used that to make joel and another guy fall sick.

I seriously, dunno wad you're thinking.
I seriously, dunno why you had to treat me like this.
I seriously, still stand there for you.
Why didn't you turn back,
For at least a glance?
Maybe I had never meant something to you,
All but a passerby,
That once create numerous troubles for you.

hope one particular person wun read this.

sunday.

On neutral ground.

alot of stuffs happened today.
not going to elaborate on them, im too tired.

today, just rush my com awhile.
and saw that alot of ppl joined firetank.
aha, i have change the name to red roses.
now, i've got a crew!!!
i noe its stupid, but at least its something decent.

and nid to prepare for term 4.
tired. and nidda chiong study liao.
then heard weibin nids help.
daijoubu, i'll walk this lane with you, nakama!

i think...sometimes im too fickle.
too fickle. maybe...its because im too fickle things screwed.
and now, wad i wan is rest. and then continue to walk on.
and have FAC tmr.
yay, gonna run again, and it does help. exercising rawks.

and aaron told me he had finally given up on something.
sometimes. i think maybe we hav to give up certain things,
in order to walk a longer road.
life's too tough, but we nid to walk on.

and i thought, all of a sudden,
that old personality of me has got back.
im in the risk of losing all of stage four that i've mastred.
no, i must continue on with my operation. no matter how tough it is.

tmr. tmr.
a new start, perhaps?
just hope that this last term for 2e3 '09,
contains much sweet memories.

It's a brand new adventure again.

saturday.

I've set myself to become the King of the Pirates... and if I die trying... then at least I tried! - Monkey D. Luffy

so, had a really, really, nice night ytd.
cuz had this convo with aaron, yf, and mianyou.
talk crap derh larh, but still very fun. lol.
then talk abt a lot of stuffs.
i shared quite a lot. hehes.

so, many said that i've changed a lot...and taking a look at my blog.
aaron ytd was lyk, 'when did yitian become so romantic?'.
and i was lyk 'wtf'.
okay larht he post, this few days quite emo. heheheh.

so..really had a weird dream ytd.
it isnt really that weird, but it was replaying the episode.
the episode of one piece, where luffy ask robin to lived.
and the jaya arc, when he fought with bellamy.
somehow, the background kept playing luffy's voice,
'I've set myself to become the King of the Pirates... and if I die trying... then at least I tried!'.
really, i think, had i forgotten my dreams?

had i really drop so low to let emotions control my life?
had i really let my feelings take over my logic?
i think weibin will be a bit upset seeing this, but,
rest assured, i still earn for her.

and...my mind is of mixed thoughts now.
seriously, i dunno whr im heading.
i rmb the days i foguth hard and trained hard to walk towards my dream.
yet, i rmb the gd old days of sec 1 life.
wealth, fame, power...
they disappear lyk smoke and fog,
but that's whr my dreams lies!

i think, i should just devote myself to complete all ten stages first.
before i could do anything.
let's reveal a bit of the plan:
Stage 3: 54-56kg
Stage 4: Full use of hito hito no mi
Stage 5: The change of me in other's eyes
Stage 6: Mastering full use of fitness and intellect potential

its getting more and more deerper as it goes on.
dunno i can tahan or not.
but i just nid to walk on.

I don't really ask for much, but just a chance to accept me, once, once is enough

PART II

wow, there's a part two.
simply means im going to crap even more. zzz.

okay, so there's new tags on my tagboard.
".....blah...blah."
well, kinda have the i-dunno-wad-to-say-and-it-wasnt-ur-cue feeling.
firstly, its okay is any other ppl say that tag to me..
but the first one to agree to it should be *******!
she should be the first one to agree to that tag on my blog, not my nakama.
and if ******* really say that to me,
wah, i dun mind dying and going to hell for 10000 yrs.

anw, got bk the cue for my aspirations.
while jogging.
went for a jog after watching 'the academy', i show i watched dozen times.
got bk the spirit i lost for my aspirations.
but this time its diff.
'i have to fulfill them, cuz its just makes me feel worthy'.
no more fame, power, wealth.
now, its all abt determination.

oh yeah, had a thinking session from 12-1.
or u can say its a emo session.
kept thinking of wad is the particular someone doing,
has she finish her hmwk...all sorts of things lyk this.
yeah, i noe i do sound a bit weird and crappy.
but that really happened.

and then..just read abt my old tags.
i can really, really, say that she nvr visit my blog.
often is out. nt frequent. but not until nvr.
but lyk...once in 6 mths barh.
so i think it doesnt or does matter...
when i type emo post.
maybe she nvr read one.
or even maybe she nvr visit this blog.

Waiting for you. Till eternal.

friday.

Wealth, fame, power. The man who had acquired everything in the world, the Pirate King, Gold Roger. The final words that were said at his execution sent the people to the seas.

Gold Roger: "My wealth and treasure? If you want it, I'll let you have it. Look for it, I left it all at that place!"

Men now, chasing their dreams, head towards the Grand Line. The world now enters a Great Age of Pirates!

wealth, fame, power...
i used to acquired great aspirations,
great will, great strength, great determination.
power....power...
a word that reminds me of the past.

wealth, fame, power.
i use to hold them in high position.
i've always wanted to made a name for myself.
i've always wanted power, indeed im power hungry.
the days of holding platoon ic post, councillor, monitor exco...
all were a thing of the past, just for power.

but today,
these things yet have mean nothing to me!
for a particular reason,
all these three things had fade...
they lost their sense of use in me!

ytd....just ytd.
perhaps i should really say wad happen ytd.
me and weibin....we talked abt this particular person.
and another particular person.
and after the filming,
we went to 2e3 classroom.
i sat on her seat,
and he sat near me.
he blasted songs that has to do with our circumstances.
i picked up the green in clolor A4 paper on the ground,
and left it under her desk nicely.
and upon chance i read her assignment.
reading wad she typed..thinking of erm...her words...
okay, i broke down. u noe wad i mean.

after that, all the talked at the coffeeshop...
were all abt two from the opp sex. well,
i talked the most. 70%.
talked abt sec one life...memorable?
the days of throwing paper balls...sounds childish,
buts its part of my memories.

go read my early archives.
i've swore not to give up earthly desires for feelings and emotions.
but today, yet im able to give up wealth, fame, power...
for feelings and emotions.
i dunno wad caused the change in me,
but really, i think i've change so much.

i've always thought im so silly.
she doesnt lyk me, yet why im clinging onto sth that's impossible.
i thought im so silly, i gave up earthly desires for emotions.
im so silly, i've always been waiting for something that has no answer.

mirai koukai. brand new world. we are. hikari e.
songs lyk this used to boost my ego and let me fly higher,
just becaused im down with earthly desires.
but now, they're no more than songs.

with all these, i proclaim the completion of stage four,
and proclaim the start of stage five: the change of me in others' eyes.

Two man sat in their classroom, listening and singing to songs that are so emotional. One broke down for his feelings, yet the other went on singing. Listening to particular songs that reminds particular memories, i wonder if those days could live again. one more time, one more time. Everything's is like coming to and end soon, and yet, it seems lyk im deeply rooted into it.

im human, im vulnerable too.

thursday.

Justice will prevails!

today's is oneechan's bday,
so let's wish her happy birthday *claps*.
and also thank joanne for coloring on my tagboard.
makes it more colorful.
sometimes life nid interesting ppl lyk this to make life more colorful. hahas.

currently,
saw tags by ck ng, sam, qianhui.
all abt nth, but jiayous.
really feel very thank you to all the ppl who gave me support all these days,
all the classmates and frens,
and the FAC comm,
who trained me so fit.

ytd nite,
spend time away playing a particular strategy game,
and chatting away with a particular person in msn.
first time chat so long with this person.
first experience.
wad the person voiced out reminds me days of early ncc life.
'i feel so unappreciated, when i wanna do sth for goodwill, yet tio meh instead'.
that was wad happen during annual camp last yr to me.

reminding those memories,
just realise that all these thinking,
were too much immature.
whenever one do sth,
if really done with all the goodwill and heart,
then the only expectations is the goal, and perhaps scolding.
look, everyone is different,
and we see many different things differently.
so when someone different do soemthing in link with us,
we'll sure have some comments.
and so, just wanna tell that person,
just follow ur heart and do wad u wan to do.
dun care abt other ppl's comment.
they wan suan you i help you block.
warera nakama, rite?

so, the rest of today awaits me,
another fun experience of acting in weibin's sdma.
and then gonna spend the last few days of holidays mugging.
look, i cant die during eoy,
i at least nid something powderful to get a gd course nxt time.

tell myself GLHF today. hahas.

Daijoubu! Just follow your heart and do what you want! Don't care about the sarcasm and scoldings! You have my support! Warera nakama!

hope that person will read this. zzz.

PART II.

wow, that's a part two. heheheh.

okay, so just had a shower upon reaching hm,
rest awhile and start mugging the com.
then, had quite a nice day with the infocomm ppl.
got weibin and jx.
a lot of jokes and a lot of stuff.
its a long time ever since i had act for a video or clip.
hair must make central parting and must put fake mole. hahas.

then, after acting, went to this...erm...
particular memorable place with weibin.
played some particular songs,
and sat on a particular seat.
read a particular assignment,
and...u can ask weibin wad happened next.

then had dinner with weibin and jx opp sch.
then we talked abt many things.
some kind of...things.
memorable stuffs larh. some memories. hahas.

so, im off to mugging the com more.
heheheheheh.

It's more than enough when i can die in place of you.

wednesday.

Tagbacks :)

Aaron: hahas. thats wad a lot of ppl say.

so, today was basically a normal day.
went to sch for fac,
and chongkai was here.
met the usual ppl lyk mr ron and mr heng.
then got to lead warm up as PTI.
hahas. promotion.

after 18 rounds i had to rush off for ssp.
lit. then brandon was here.
shared his mt ophia stories.
and his gun and knife. wootz.

then we had this rehearsal for this lit play.
then my role quite sian.
main protoganist but must sit thr all the time.
then everyone was lyk sitting around except the actors.
after everything i went for lunch with weibin and eugene and ken and jx.

all the way home.
i was thinking of the past.
the near past. sec one life.
life's tought then, but for some parts,
its memorable.
rmb the days as a monitor,
sitting at the front in parade sq, and all the jokes and everything;
rmb the days when im not yet that matured,
i used to throw papers balls around the class;
rmb the never ending quarrels, rmb the cries and laughter...

a sad yr it was,
but yet it was all these that brighten up my life then.
now, sadness ends, and even everything is cming to an end,
and all these memories are put to a halt.

perhaps its fate to meet you,
perhaps its destiny;
rmb all the 'OMG' expressions on our faces,
when we're grp together,
no matter during orientation, during aesthetics, during wadsoever...
now, the yr's cming to an end,
it seems lyk i cant let it go.

If fate can have it, please, let me have another two more years.

tuesday.

Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true. - Anson

so, it was another day which i nidda go bk sch.
and then, today weibin and ck ng want here,
so ran with 'sgt dollah' instead.
and ran 22 rounds with a full pack('courteosy' of mr heng),
and lost 1.5kg overnight, the lagi best results so far in Stage Two history.
and the tchers proclaimed, 'YOU ARE OUT'.
first time these three words sounds so nice to me,
and i've completed stage two! banzai!

after which i went to screw my oral,
and then went to get my new specs.
quite curvy, whichs makes it a bit of okama;
but daijoubu, i nid something lyk this to balance the haki in my eyes.

and i must apologise to those two ladies if my comments from the previous post,
had triggered any anger.
and must thank all the visitors who encourage me to walk on.
althought joanne sounds lyk sarcarstic, cuz got the face thr.
dunno larh. but still very thank you.

btw, many of my peers said that my blog quite emo.
to clarify this, my blog is talking realistically.
its cuz life is screwed in a particular way,
so it has been lyk this.
but daijoubu, just fork a little anti-stereotype on me,
then i wun be so emo liao. zzz.

I saw shifu(emmanuel) on 89 bus; he's from MJC. I saw a heavily tattooed malay guy, my first thoughts were 'gangster' and 'crime'. but when i was having trouble packing my things and getting off the bus, he helped me press the bell and help me out of the bus...

monday.

Even in the depths of hell...blooms a beautiful flower of friendship...leaving its petals as mementos...bobbing back and forth on the waves...may it one day bloom once more...THE OKAMA WAY. - Mr 2 Bon Clay

a very interesting quote from one piece,
by mr 2 bon clay.
reminds me of the great sacrifice for friendship,
as bon clay died in place for luffy.
if i were to had such a friend,
that would be enough for life!

went for FAC today,
and somehow the scale went gila.
looks lyk i have to fast a few more days,
until the electric scale is back.
had 20 rounds and badminton,
and went to discuss for the play on thurs.
quite fun. ooo.

just wanna come back to have a good fast and rest.
then, wad upsets me is the comments on my tagboard.
quite harsh arhs? i dunno. but this only makes me **ing more negative.
zzz. dun trigger the asura in me.

well, i noe i cant say this,
but i still have to say,
i knew no matter wad,
there's sure to be some repulse feelings if im gonna act as the 30+ john.
sure. i knew she wun lyk it.
and ask me how i knew it? its the hito hito no mi.

i kept reflecting myself on wads justice.
i went for an appeal,
and the officials told me to work hard.
now, i kept thinking of Doflamingo's quote,
wondering whether true justice appears in this world.

Whoever that wins the war...becomes Justice! -Donquixote Doflamingo

sunday.

As I keep on thinking in depth, I could'nt stop myself in gaining belicosity and wrath, almost really going to transform myself into an Asura.

woke up and thoughtof something.
and try to memorise the lit script.
thought of the play itself,
and dunno whether i should think it that way or not.

i rmb that she told the tcher abt the clash in the play,
and request for another 'John' actor.
it seems that that clash is obvious to everyone,
why must she be the one to voice it out?
i couldn't set myself thinking that she wants no contact with me.
i've been a nobody.

nowadays have really been hard on diet,
and my spare tyre seems smaller.
veins begin popping out,
and muscles are now more obvious on my body.
i think very soon i can master both stage two and three in no time.
its time to plan for stage four.

thought of many problems,
not cca, but much abt the class.
thought abt the 'uprising' of the cake incident,
thought abt the lit play,
thought abt how scheming he is,
thought abt her.

maybe its time to reveal 40% of the Operation;
Stage One: Gold for NAPFA
Stage Two: Out of FAC
Stage Three: 54-56 kg
Stage Four: Full use of Hito Hito no Mi

i hope to fasten the steps to complete these stages.
i hope for many other things as well.
i hope for another chance.
i hope...

saturday.

This might be the last breath, but just hold on, as the morning sun is going to rise.

woke up with a dream.
it was a kinda weird and good dream, but cant rmb everything.

holidays had arrived.
i think this time it'll be packed fully.
mon-wed is FAC + oral + ssp.
then thurs is sdma video taking.
maybe fri or sat go celebrate leo's promotion.
so tight sia.

woke up and though of a lot of things.
many many stuff.
though of NCC.
glad that things are turning quite well nowadays,
and part b aint lyk last time keep quarreling.
and the specs are damn gd. NCC rawks.

thought of the class.
thought of the never ending conflicts.
thought of the misdeeds i've done last yr.
thought of how the class changed me.
thought of her.

if fate doesnt has it,
then the journey has to end,
and life has to goes on.
these two yrs are harsh,
but it fully matured me.
i might have done too much sins in the past,
but it taught me not to do anymore for the rest of my life.
i might have disappoint her her once, twice, thrice...
but it taught me not to disappoint anymore gals for the rest of my life.

i knew maybe fate doesnt allows it.
perhaps im thinking too much.
but pls, before you go,
let me see your smile once more.

these yrs might be harsh,
harsh till the way that it taught me many stuffs.
on this journey, maybe i have to change travelling partners often,
but wad remains the same is the adventurous spirit.

friday.

the very last day of term 3 that didnt turn out so well.

so, persuaded ms diong to accept my digi art concept.
and then nidda go improve.
then had all kinds of slack lessons.
then at the end of the lessons the class prepare bday suprise for ms suba.
zzz. i ran after they sang the bday song.

met the usual 'boss' fanclub' inclusive of chee koeng and aloysius.
then was crapping around the canteen till ncc start.
and had the orient test. heng can pass.
then had a short pt and a drills session.
ended with interactive.
Go by the book.

had some kinds of mixed feelings nowadays.
dunno for wad stupid reason.
sometimes, i think im a very 'bad' person.
somehow, i only cherish things when i lost them.

things went so bad till the misunderstanding is so deep.
things went so bad that i was given up on.
things went so bad until there's no chance for remedy.
if time is allowed to be turn back,
i didnt want to start off this way.
give me a chance to change myself.
just once.

baby, baby, one more time.

thursday.

wow, wad a busy day!

so, things started with FAC again.
then i only lost 400g overnite!!!
then left 100g to out.
mr lew and ms lin suan me lyk hell. zzz.

then screwed art,
screw the rest of lessons.
screw all the way till phy,
then went for army open hse!

got this ambassodor guy from tkss,
and took us around safti,
and then learn so many many stuff.
got arti, intelligence, ocs, many many more.
then noe nid to use quadratic eqn for arti...
so otto was rite. and then quite fun thr.
on the way back got talk cock session.
quite bo liao.
then on the way hm saw george(IT club senior who joined NCC as Part B APS).

life quite hectic nowadays.
well, maybe i really wan a changer sometimes.

It's alright!

wednesday.

its another day in school,
but at least its busy today. real busy.

so, things started off with FAC as usual,
and mr heng says another 500g i'll be out.
but im gonna go bk to help out.
and looks lyk stage two of my Operation gonna be done soon.

and then lit was another one.
no lessons, but we went through the script.
then ask me to act as the old John in the prison.
only vocal. VOCAL. sadz. then eugene got the 30+ yrs old john,
then he kao pei a lot. aiya, tell him dun wan giv me lorhs.
actually i really want his role one larhs. zzz.

then all the lessons until ssp.
those ppl lyk wan to have some kinda suprise for a tcher.
den i tio kope into the operation.
then wb and ken tio kope to buy cake. glhf.

nidda prepare ncc stuff and art ltr on,
and i just accepted wb's request to act in his sdma.
looks lyk life gonna be quite busy as it goes on.

Sometimes, I'll just sit off a corner, and began to look at a particular person, sane and realistic. For that to talk to that person, I've to complete at least 8 stages out of 10 stages. But I'll do it.

tuesday.

If everything is decided by fate, decided by heaven; tell me, are we given birth by the ozone layer, or our great mothers?

wad a sensational topic.

i rmb ytd whr i began talking ant how bad is life during tuition,
with one of my ex-classmate.
she mentioned the hardships she suffered through 8 yrs,
and how hard it is compared to my two yrs.
and she says she already left life to fate,
and believes its fate that turns her life lyk this.

i gave a big laugh for that.

indeed, these yrs in education hasnt been ncie for me.
i spent six yrs being a hoodlum,
doing nth all day but play.
though i manage to score stars oftenly,
but life wasnt really that gd.
mockery and sarcasm led me to become a boaster,
a liar, a point of mockery.

when i left mps,
i left those boasting and lies behind.
i wanted to start out afresh.
but things turned upside down.
i became an outcast.
and this gave some sinister ppl chances to rise up,
as 'princes' of the class.

i dunno for the past yrs,
esp the six in mps,
wad i have been gaining.
mockery of all kinds led me to become a strong person.
and two in zhss,
gave me maturity.

strong stereotypes of the hoodlum and liar in mps didnt change.
strong stereotypes of the inferior and outcast in zhss didnt change.

i became much, much more realistic nowadays.
much much more matured, and also even more determinded.
the ordeal to go through to become the next great man is hard.
been through, seen through, things seems simpler.

'its still a legend if it hasn't been proven to be true or false.'
sometimes, the one who laugh last laugh best.
i spent six yrs receiving attitude of all kinds,
i spent two yrs walking alone.
cant ppl just understand the fact that i didnt want it too?
cant ppl stop stereotyping?

mdm zhang once told me,
'its all this ridicule that makes u walk longer, fly higher.'

till the end,
i want those who once look down on me,
to kowtow to the lowest;
those who once detest me,
to admire me as if im god;
those who once spoke bad of me,
to boast abt my past ties with them.
because only till then,
i will noe that my will and determination,
has defeated reality.

"Because I also believe in it...in All Blue! -Sanji.