New Year's Eve

Well, after a long run we've come to New Year's Eve...
I don't know why, but to me, this has always been the saddest part of the year.
It just kind of hurts me, that memories are getting pushed behind,
and then, you have to go on to seek out for new stuff in the next year.
But then, no progress, no growth.

Holidays' ending, the year's ending;
and I don't know what else is going to end too.
Well, for sure, it's a new era in school next year-
changes in the CCA, and hopefully changes in the school's running system.
it's good to see new changes in a new year;
but they need to be good changes too (like DUH!).

Okay, so I went back to take a look at my 2010 New Year Resolutions...
and god damned it, not even more than 50% completed.
But well, that's okay, at least I've tried;
so maybe the targets are going to be a little bit lower next year.

So, here are the 2011 New Year Resolutions:

1) Weight Loss: Preferably a 60kg.
2) Academics: Don't talk about the points, just good enough to study Chinese in poly.
3) CCA: A good retirement... one without regrets. Maybe the CLT course?
4) Class: If they're willing to let me run elections again... I don't mind doing the shit for one more year. And yeah, we need more class outings.
5) Friends: Used to be a problem, now ain't a problem, and it's never going to be a problem again.
6) Life: More cash, more time, more parties.
7) Love Life: Sorry, but I do not have one.
8) Puberty: By right it should have stopped, but just a little few more centimeters, lest I'm going top be the one shouting 'yes sarge' during the sizing drill.
9) Hair: See how long I can stay with bangs for 2011.
10) That's all, really.

Pretty simple resolutions that doesn't need much effort...
but as they said, 'a simple life is a happy life!'
So, keep things simple, and things will stay happy.
And you will be happy.

And throughout 2010, I've been through serious bullshit;
bullshit that completely changed me.
Changed me for the better? I think so.
I've become more quiet, more meek, and more reserved;
but more understanding, more patient, more forgiving.
Err, well, various people played a role in the 2010 sagas(you can visit the archives to view my various shocked shit),
so, today is the day that we get the credits rolling.

Special and heartfelt thanks to:

Family, and Class of 3E2 2010, and Zhonghua National Cadet Corps.

Teachers that taught me this year;
Mr Ang, Mr Tham, Mdm Jiang, Mr Cheow, Ms Peh, Mr Chew, Mr Brady, Mr Ong, Mrs Ang, Ms Ng, Mrs Seng, Mrs Ho, Mrs Lee, and last but not least, Ms Noraini.

Specialists, NCOs of Charlie Platoon 2010:
CK Ng, CJ, Kah Chee, Chin, Ken, Daryl, Ervin, Brandon, Helmi, CK Seah, Oliver MK, Jonathan, Eric, Joel, Minghan, Weihan.

The Commissioned Officers of the company, and cadet officers Daryl, Daron.

My Boys, the Bravo Platoon 2010.

The usual friends:
Keong Cheng, Ting Wei, Martin Kau, JX, Chua, David.

Neighbours sitting beside me:
Audrey, Andrea, Sher Yun, Ziying.

The girl that could really chat with me in class, you know who you are (:

Friends I met in various NCC courses,

Sui Sen of OB Singapore 13-18 June,

Mat Salleh of OB Sabah 13-22 Decemeber,

Tuition clique:
Xavier, Clarence, Patrick, Christine, Amanda.

Classmates from Chinese class,

Kids I met at the detention area:
Jia Ying, Sean, Kenneth.

And also, the various friends and brothers I had in Zhonghua.

Once again, thanks with gratitude and tears to:

My camp-de-aide ChangJun,

Ting Wei and Keong Cheng,

My good brother CK Ng,

My 'son' Aaron,

Those friends that I made through other friends,

Chua who helped me a dozen,

Ziying who helped me thousand times this year,

Various ex-classmates of Meridian;

Friends I met online through MSN, you know who you are (:

And last but not least,

My dearest sisters, you know who you are (:

All right, that should be all...
I'm sure I never missed out any, I guess.

And yeap, 2011's arriving in like... 14+ hours from now...
and here to wish everyone, a Happy New Year,
a fruitful 2011, and keep that smile on your face (:

Err, I wanted to write down, 'forget you' for number 10 in the resolutions,
But I guess, let me just keep that devotion for one more year...

Right.

Movie

Have been watching movies online nowadays, a whole deal of them.
From Ironman 2 to Grown Ups, and even the 10 episodes of Band of Brothers.
Well, I guessed this shall be the way;
the way that I'll be spending the last days of this holiday.

So, I wonder if everyone reading this might notice the trend of movie.
Every movie has a story to tell, obviously;
and every of them, has a lesson to teach.
They have a thought for us to ponder upon,
and they have a inspiration to give us rooms for creation.
To create what is the so-called 'aftermath' of whatever we see on the screen.

As what Aesop's fables are like,
every story has a moral at the very end.
A moral for us to learn, a moral for us to ponder upon;

A moral that might inspire some of us.

Life is definitely like a movie.
As the Chinese proverb mediacorp uses all day long,
“人生如戏，戏如人生。”
Life, is just like a movie;
with its starting, plot, climax, and perhaps a happily-ever-after ending.
No doubt, this movie of our own has its own moral, too.

Maybe we just get engrossed for 3 hours in the cinema,
but this 'movie of life' goes on playing for decades.
You're the director, the actor, the producer, the scriptwriter...
You are the one that is going to produce this movie,
and you're the one that is the very main cast.

Every moment, you have to rights to change things.
Pulling in new casts and crew members into the studio,
or amending the script, adding in new features, changing props, etc.
For everything that take place, you have the final say.

So, I'm just wondering, life, its just like a movie;
but this movie differs a lot from those we see in the cinemas.
Those are made ready, and we just have to pay for the admission ticket;
this one, its screening every second, and filming every second.

Romance, action, comedy, tragedy;
What kind of genre, you can choose it yourself.
the protagonist, sidekicks, hero, or villain;
this is your movie, you choose your role to play.

A movie that is going on and on for decades;
another difference this unique movie have,
is that every moment, there is a moral to tell.
Every moment, there is a lesson to learn.
Every moment, there is a thought to be inspire.
Not like those in the cinemas; you'll only start thinking when the curtains draw.

You can't rewind this movie.
Neither pause, stop, loop, playback, whatsoever;
and the worse of all, you only get to see it once.
Every scene, every act, every move...
You'll only get to see and film it once.

For this movie, there's no sequel to it;
hence, there's no room for any regrets.
We can't get the protagonist dying,
and then make a sequel to showcase his return.
This movie of life, it's just one and once;
no Ironman 2, no Superman Returns.

It just goes on and on, and you can't pause.
That's why, I want every scene to be something nice;
you can't edit this film like the post production.
You can't cut away scene, or trying to do a voice-over.
It just stays there, forever.

I want every scene of mine to be a comedy;
maybe action at the extreme.
I got no room for tragedies.
And I want this movie to be an inspirational one;
with lessons to teach, morals to learn.

Actors and actresses enter and exit from various scene.
But I myself am always here,
writing this script of my life;
filming and acting every scene of this movie.

This is my movie.
What's yours?

Greatness? No.

Some men were born great; others, had greatness trusted upon them.
Those who were born great create empires and careers that not many could surpassed;
while those who had greatness trusted upon them,
went on to seek higher glory for what that they inherited.

There were many men in history who were born great,
to create pages in the history textbook for themselves.
Caesar, Genghis Khan, Napoleon, William of Normandy.
And they had heirs who were trusted with important greatness,
and went on to push limits and boundaries.
Octavian, Kublai Khan, Peter the Great.

Great men were born out of times of chaos,
to create a brand new era for themselves;
while in peace time certain ones had greatness entrusted to them,
to maintain the peace and order of the empires.

But not all of us were born to be great men;
and not all of us had that responsibility to uphold greatness.

"Everyone could be a leader. It's just about whether you want to."
My teachers and coaches spoke of this a dozen times;
I used to believe in such fabricated tales-
tales of how everything about success just voice down to your own determination.
That was the time when I used to believe that everyone could be great.
I believed everyone should have dreams- and dreams do come true.

But it came to one day, when all these fanciful thoughts shattered.

I always used to think that I could strive to be like one of them.
Caesar, the Khans, Peter, or maybe, just like Raffles.
I thought with enough changes and hard work,
I could prove myself to be worthy of greatness.
Greatness that gives me the power to influence people and change the surroundings.

But reality came to a point that make it very clear to me.
I'm not born great; neither people had greatness entrusted upon me.
I tried to be that guiding lamp among hearts of the common.
But well, I never got a chance to do so;
or should I say, they never gave me a chance to perform?

Be it in my CCA, in class, or other where else;
I feel like I'm being locked up, and put away.
Years passed, and my mates attained honourable positions in CCA and school.
As for me, I'm a mere little specialist, not worthy of notice.
All those words that I used to believe in...
suddenly turned into white lies.

Greatness, I never aspire for it anymore.

Despite not being born for greatness, or having greatness entrusted upon me;
I still believe, I'm born for something.
I'm born to serve a certain purpose,
or maybe I'm born to find a certain purpose in life.
There's still something that is worth living for;
there's still a value that makes life meaningful, as it should be.

For years, I seek out for this purpose.
I kept on wondering, was this born upon me,
or I have to seek it from the world,
like looking for a tiny needle in the ocean.
It might be hard finding something that you didn't know what it is-
but I never gave up seeking.

I couldn't achieve great things in life; neither would people entrusted greatness upon me,
but I believe there's a reason that I came to this world.
There's a reason that I've came to explain.
There's a purpose that I've came to serve.
There's a role, for I have came to play.

Be it negative, be it positive-
I firmly believe that there is place for me to stand among the commons.
I might not stand great or high among them;
but certainly, at the very least, I have to stand equal among the commons.

Not being born a great man, or entrusted with greatness, it's fine!
But you have to live a decent, honest and respectable life.

And when I'm still searching for that purpose of life,
I stoop upon blogger.com, and started blabbering.

Years passed, and those filthy words,
suddenly came to life, dancing gracefully.

I'm thinking, perhaps there's still a way I can change the world.

But for a start, this change shall start from myself.

Having some Thoughts on Christmas Day

It's been some days since the adventure ended;
well, days into urban city, and I've gotten back used to the modern life.
But still, I miss those challenge and insanity I have back in Sabah.

God damned, certain things do really stick there in the mind,
and change you for a lifetime.

There's still a couple of things for me to clear up before ushering in 2011.
Try to complete what's leftover of my schoolwork,
and then maybe fixed a couple of things here and there, getting ready for next year.
And also prepare everything that I should prepare,
before I retire from my position in the Corps next year.

Yea, heck that, fours years of green, that's going to be;
to think that soon it'll just come to an end like this.

To recount back all that tears and joy,
I must say I'm proud to join the ranks and files.
But I must clarify, I was never proud to be in the ranks and files.
I don't know why; the Corps left me with a dozen of bad memories.
The Corps made me see the true facets of human beings;
who's good and who's not, who's the upright and the unscrupulous.

I came across various situations in the Corps;
which most of them were just plain shit that was plain unfair to me.
Seriously, sometimes that little bit of unfairness still stuck there,
as I began to recount about all the unfairness I've been through and seen.
And it was all that unfairness that couldn't make me hold my head high.

Forever in Zhonghua.

And maybe, forever in front of all my friends.

OB Sabah taught me well. It made me thought well.
At certain times, letting go of certain things might be the best solution out.
I thought, well, it's time that I should let go.
Let go of my boys, let go of them to be free men;
let them fall, and watch them climb back up again.

Also to let of of all these traumas that have been haunting me;
and letting go of that little bit of military pride left in me.
I'm trained to tolerate and function in cooperation with military life;
but after all these years I just beg a life to be different.
Military life, no way for me.
NCC's been a way too much; too much politics, too much reality.

I've always wanted to find an area.
A real place that I could call my own, where I'm the owner,
whereby I'm not the one abiding the rules, but making it.
Some second place whereby I could really call home,
after this little four room flat I'm residing in right now.

Zhonghua's been a hard lesson that's way too harsh for me;
not to talk about all that in the Corps.
I'm sick and tired of all that tyranny, all that falseness of reality.
I want to seek for an area whereby I could reveal my second personality,
and work with people in the most fundamental and basic way.
A way whereby we cut all the fake smiles and other bullshit.

Once, my OB Sabah instructor, Floris, explained why he came all the way from Holland to Sabah:
"I grew up in a very posh neighbourhood in Amsterdam...
Everything there was modern. You don't get something like what you're getting now(in Sabah).
After high school, I didn't thought of going to college.
I just want something different.
Something way, way different from all that I've seen."

Me too, I just want something different.
Something way, way different from all these around me.

Singapore might be a great place to reside in;
but that's not some place that I can find the kind of security that safeguards my feelings.
The urban lifestyle may be posh and modern,
but that's not something that could really bring me all the happiness I wanted.

I remembered when I was residing in the kampung in Sabah,
I felt a sudden sense of belonging.
Tell me, is that the heart's calling, or just a temporarily feeling?

15 years of life, near 4 years of secondary school and military life;
and yet, I've seen enough of human beings.

The truest purity of humans lies in when they are still elementary.
The more people are exposed to, the more corrupt their personality becomes.

Enough, I had enough of all these bullshit.

But thankfully, I think I found another place to reside my feelings.

MAT SALLEH ha hey ho !

It's been a day since everything ended...
well, I'm still not getting used to the urban lifestyle.
For instance, I'm walking around my house in just only boxers,
like how I'm doing it in the jungle back in Sabah.
And all that climbing and rowing "change" my fingers;
what's up with this kind of slow and stupid typing speed?

But I would say, honestly, that might be the best ten days of my life.

All of us came together as strangers, who didn't know a single fact of one another;
it was all a same course, with a same target, that bonded us together.
We came as strangers, aloof and distance;
and yet ten days later, we parted like a family, hot tears rolling down the cheeks.

There's really a lot that I learn from these ten days.
I met many people that I never met before,
deal with personalities that I've never dealt with,
and came across challenges that I have no experience with.
Every little obstacle was a test to me, and us;
a test of my perseverance, a test of our bond.
Sometimes we made it through, sometimes we crashed hard;
but it was great to see that at the end, we're still holding on to one another.

It was all the kind of usual stuff that people would learn,
which I got out of these ten days and everyone that I met.
All the textbook answers like leadership, teamwork, etc.
It's a bit pointless for me to talk about the textbook stuff that we'll all learn;
and then, it's kind of inappropriate to again talked about all the stuff every blog post have mentioned.

The ten day course was really challenging.
it challenged all of us physically, mentally and emotionally.
I feel proud of myself that I'm able to overcome my limits to seek for the better;
and I felt proud opf my group that we're always there for one another.

One my my group member, Ray, once mentioned,
"People said that the sky is our limit, and we have to overcome it. And yet, if the sky is our limit, who discovered Space?"

I always thought that everything has a limit to it;
be it negative or positive.
But I would say, the human potential has no limits at all.
The only limit is ourselves- how much we want to do, how much we're willing to do, that's our limit.

There's still a lot, a lot more that I learned from this course, other than this;
but I'll rather choose to share them with myself.
I believe that only those who have went through and seen through shall understand the wisdom behind every little life lesson learnt there;
these experiences are not something that a Tom, Dick or Harry could understand.

I found friends, I found my shortcomings, I found a new self.

And perhaps, by leaving home I found that feeling of home.

It's really very, very enriching.
And it totally changed me.
As what they said, "Bound for discovery, Changed for life."
All that I've went through taught me to cherish every little thing I have.
Including you guys that are reading this (:

So, another unforgettable adventure has come to an end.
And now, I wonder when shall the next one begins.

Another adventure to begin

There's still some time before I need to prepare for my departure,
so I guess maybe I'll just say a few words here.
After all, it's a good 10 days that this blog is going to be dead;
perhaps this little post here could keep it surviving for 10 days?

It's another adventure to begin soon;
like the past, it's one with strangers.
It might be some challenge for me this time;
relying on strangers to survive for 10 days, unlike the past which is barely a week.

Everytime I got to rely on people I don't know,
it forms a special kind of bond between us.
A that would be the closest ever, not even lovers or family could overtake;
but usually a short one to go.
We shall have a common aim to achieve, which is what that keeps us united;
but once this aim is achieved, the bond starts to fade.

I don't know what kind of people I'll meet this time round;
neither what kind of event, what kind of danger, what kind of challenge...
All I knew that this is going to be a brand new experience.
And perhaps, I can learn something great out of all these at the end.

There's still some confusion within my heart-
somehow or rather, I'm not very sure whether I'm ready for this adventure.
But looking at the preparation work I've done all along,
I believe that it's worth giving a a go, after all.

It's always the hardest to bade goodbye everytime,
goodbye from the secluded life, goodbye from the simple routine,
to face something new and stranger.
At this point of time I'm not very sure what qualities I'll bring back,
but I know for sure, I'll miss you guys even more,
and to cherish you all even more when I return.

Clear-mind or confused, I still have to give it a go.
Perhaps, I'll come back tougher, quieter, who knows.

有感

最近老是闷在家里，很少跟外界接触；
从而也失去了不少写作的灵感，一些写作的启发。
每天独自一人在家，早上睁开眼睛，
除了吃喝玩乐，好像也没有其他事情可做。

眼看假期还剩下最后几个礼拜，
也真想去做一些较有意义的事，不要再虚度光阴。
不过，想想看，自己出了门，能做哪一些事？

很少有人约我出去；自然而然养成了喜欢呆在家里的“好习惯”。
每天在家读读书、看看戏，舞文弄墨的，好不自在。
这种没有压力、没有太大起伏的生活，的确过得很平稳。
秀才不出门，能知天下事；每天在家读读报章，看看新闻，也有一番滋味。

不过，人也不能因此而满足于现状嘛。

但是，除了呆在家里舞文弄墨，也不知道要做哪些事来打发时间。

可是，我也蛮喜欢这种与世隔绝，独自一人的生活。

倘若以后有那个机会，我真要过那种隐居的生活；
隐居于深山中，与世隔绝，自力耕生。
在大自然中聆听大自然的声音；多了一份宁静，少了一份吵杂。
不问红尘俗事，只愿孤独一人，随心所欲。

世界的东西看得太多了，只想去找一个不见炊烟的地方，闭关修炼。

能够这样过一世人，也心甘情愿。

真想逃离这个闹市，逃离残酷的红尘之地。

还真想要过一个与世隔绝的生活啊。

反差

世间万物，命运并非自身决定；
世间万事，冥冥之中有注定。
七分人坚持，三分天注定；
谋事在人，成事在天。
万事发生并非巧合，也非人算；
世事难料，唯有天公的算盘打得最响。

何事发生并有其因；
荣华富贵、穷困潦倒，都是命中注定。
但红尘俗事只不过是过眼云烟；
真正的长寿处于一生中的领悟，
真正的长命在于一生中的看开。

家财万贯、两袖清风，虽为命中注定；
富贵穷困，皆为天之安排，天赐之挑战。
一生富贵皆要人看开红尘，寻找精神上的富有。
一生穷困皆要人排除万难，越挫越勇；
正如俗语曰“吃的苦中苦，方为人上人”。

但非一切都是天命所在，
种种难关为生命中的劫数；
走的路、接触的事物，还是由个人决定。
走的是阳光大道还是独木小桥，主义在于个人。

人生短短数十年，命中挑战不计其数。
是否能够从中领悟真理，还是一生懵懵懂懂，全在于自己。
是天的磨练，还是天的不平，完全在于自己的见解。
命中劫数也不过如此，过一个算一个；
但要从中了解多少个道理，这全靠自己的悟性。

人往高处走，水往低处流。
有的人一生失败，毫无成就；
不过其所经历的困苦能让其成为人中之龙。
爬得越高，跌得越重；站得越低，头上的天空更为宽阔。
处于一个卑微的姿态，并非认命；与世无争，并非认输。

当一个人有那个阔气放下俗事的一切时，
他也已经看破红尘了。

人之所以卑微，是天公给于机会，让人看到尊贵。

人之所以高傲，是天公给于机会，让人寻找真正的自己。

万千劫数，并非老天不平，天命所归；

倘若要放弃的时候，请君切记：
吃的苦中苦，方为人上人！

Welcome To My Life

有时，觉得自己对这世界有很多怨恨。
到底是自己做得不够好，还是世界就是如此不公平？
对许许多多的事，不是大彻大悟，就是心灰意冷。
对那些已经放下、看开的东西，
是因为觉悟而放下，还是因为长久的失败而放下？

“你不是一条鱼，有何能体验到鱼的快乐，鱼的痛苦？”
我不是他人，无法真真正正体验其他人的苦衷；
他人亦不是我，有何能了解我的有苦难言？

人家常说当局者迷，旁观者清；
可我却觉得，自己的处境，自己的体验，自己的经历，唯有自己最清楚。
那种缺乏物质享受、缺乏精神支柱的生活，叫人如何了解？

有的人说我是小题大做；我说，是他们无法了解我的感受。
有的人说我想得太多；我说，是他们看得太轻。
有的人说我疑心太重；我说，是他们没有注意。

仿佛之间，失去了所有生活的意义，所有坚持的理由；
剩下的，只是破碎的梦、迷糊的视线、欲哭而无泪。
忽然看开那一些让自己向前冲的理想，留下的只是一堆遗憾；
那些破碎的憧憬，让人觉得生活忽然之间黯淡无光。
疲惫的身、麻木的心、还有那欲哭无泪；不知道，自己还要为何而冲刺。

一切的经历太多、一切的战败、一切的坚持。。。
难道最终，只不过是一场空？

那高傲的霸气已不再，那自信的憧憬已落空；
剩下的，唯有我独自一人，站在茫茫人海之中，不知去向。

踏过的荆棘密布让我伤痕累累，前方，亦然黯淡无光；
不知去向的我，不知要如何再战天下，也不知前方有何挑战；
甚至是否还有毅力坚持到最后，自己也不清楚。

不过，眼前的种种难关，还是要克服的。

再艰难的旅途，也有一个终点。

有时想问自己，究竟那条出路，那条指引自己走出浓雾的路，到底在哪里。

其实，路，就在脚下。

误会

我不知道我这一生中，和多少的人有了多少的误会；
也不知道因为多少的误会，令我犯了多少的错。
不知道是哪里的沟通出了问题，还是人家误解了我的意思。

我一直在想，我这生中是否有很多的东西，
因为误会了人家，还是让人家误会了我，因此造成许多过错和错过？
有很多的东西，就是因为彼此之间的误会，导致一个无法挽回的地步。

自己不擅于他人沟通，因此很多时候都会闹出一些小误会；
可就是这些小误会，慢慢变成大误会，在生命中有某种程度的变化；
不知道误会让我错过了多少的良机、让我错过了多少的良缘；
不知道误会让我损坏了多少的友情、让我失去了多少的朋友。
也不知道误会到底让我错过了多少的缘分，是否错过那一个命中注定。

我不擅于沟通，因此闹出了很多的误会。
有的误会让我获益不浅；让我看到了许许多多的真相。
有的误会，却使我失去了很多东西；失去一些应该是属于自己的东西。

因为一时的误会，因而永远错过了许多的人与物，是在很遗憾。

我时常在想，如果当时没由这些沟通上的问题、没有这些大小误会；
今天的一切，是否会不会完全不同？
今天的一切，是否会留下许多遗憾吗？

如今，误会夺取了我许许多多的东西。
要怪，只能怪自己。

如果，我是说如果，当时你没有对我有那么深的误会，
今天的一切，是否截然不同？
如果，我是说如果，当时你们没有对我怀有那么多的不满，
今天的生活，是否依旧如常？

如果，当时没有了这些“误会”，
是否依然还只是朋友？

现在说这些，也不能挽救那些过错、错过；
我只想，以后再也不要有误会，再也不要有遗憾。

给人的误会太多太多；
泪，也流得太多太多。

看来，应该少说一些话，就少一点误会吧。

One more month...

Hell yeah, it's the start of December.
This means in four weeks time I'll be back in school;
on another perspective, this means I wasted one month away.
Well, I just realised I wasted November away,
on homework, sleeping, watching TV...etc.
Perhaps I should really get out of the house in the month of December,
and play till the max before school reopens.

Have been very unproductive these days;
the daily routine goes by with TV, books, and sleep.
For a moment of time I spent five good days at home,
without stepping one foot out of the house.
This explains my lack of inspiration to write good essays nowadays;
this time, I'm blogging in English because I don't know what to blog in Chinese.

And really I should get the month starting real right.
One has just went by; and soon, another day too-
I think I shouldn't be wasting anymore time by staying at home.

Real adventure needs to start;
to get all the adrenaline pumping for a good year ahead.

Hadn't been thinking about much things at home;
the lack of interaction between fellow human,
plus the lack of interaction with the outside world makes one an introvert.
I used to think and ponder a lot on various stuff; from philosophy to politics.
Maybe thinking too much is one of the reason that gets me too emotional,
but not thinking at all make my mind somewhat rusty;
I got stuck in writing the three 1000 word essay for my Chinese book review.

Yea, maybe I should go out and seek some real inspiration during this month.
To get back the lost inspiration, to earn some new experience, I don't know.
I have a small social circle- don't even know who to ask out, and what to do.
And the rainy December discourage me from most outdoor activities,
so perhaps for some time later I still have to stay indoors.

Looking at the way I'm spending my holidays,
I wonder how are my acquaintances and my classmates doing.
Seeing people uploading tons of photos up on facebook,
sent this 'what the fish are you doing' message up to my brain.
Maybe I should really get a life, and stop being a couch potato;
the inspiration at home is used up.

A few weeks back I'm thinking that if I rushed all my homework,
then perhaps I can space out much time for entertainment.
Now, having 80% of the homework done,
there's this empty feeling everyday; no more homework is there to entertain me.

Lacking all that experience and inspiration,
maybe there's this point whereby I'll lost all my skills for writing.

But I'm just wondering other than that few friends,
who else will ask me out for some fun and joy.

I've told myself to f*ck care the academics,
and to seek adventure, fun, danger and love during this holiday.
At the rate I'm going, maybe I've to concede defeat once again.

Wait, I still have four weeks left.

November ended, but there's still one month to go.
For those who hadn't been touching any work, get started right NOW.

And for those couch potato like me..
yea, get a life.

防人，害人

“害人之心不可有，防人之心不可无”.

这是我一生中学的第一句警世名言；
第一次听到这句话时，我还在念小三。
那时老师正在跟我们讲解一篇“黄鼠狼入侵公鸡国”的课文；
课文叙述的是国王如何大意让黄鼠狼入侵他的国家，造成严重的损失。
后来国王提高防备，设下陷阱，才把黄鼠狼一网打尽。

“你不能有那个害人的意图；同时你也不能不小心其他人来害你。”
老师的话和这句警世名言，深深地烙印在我的脑海里；
可惜当时的我年少无知，无法理解这警世名言其中的含义。
那时的我对老师的话有一点疑问；“我不去害人，谁会来害我？”。

小孩子的思想，就是如此的单纯。

人之初，性本善；性相近，习相远。

一转眼，六年过去了；
一个六字，对很多人来说，是一个渺小的代表数字。
对我而言，代表着六个春去春来。
这六个春去春来，我看透了人心、人性的多面；
人的欲望、人的贪念、人的私心、人的狠毒。
在人生之中经历了许许多多的大风大浪；
风光过，也落魄过；那种患难见真情的故事，也经历多了。

有时候，我真得很不明白；
人，为何要为了自己的利益，要牺牲其他人的幸福；
人，为何要为了满足自己的欲望，而伤害其他人的安宁；
人，为何要为了自己的理想，而是其他人的梦想破裂；
人，为何一直只会为自己着想，从未体贴、考虑过身边的人。

带着一个纯朴、天真的个性步入着社会，
换来的，却是满身的片体鳞伤。
一份好意、一颗真心；洁白的思想，
为何会换来众人的攻击，众人的伤害？

不了解自己为何受到如此不平时，
在茫然之中，想起了老师六年前说过的话：
“害人之心不可有，防人之心不可无。”

人与人之间，一定要时时防备，处处提防吗？
为何人与人之间，要为了自己的利益，而伤害别人；
导致自己无时无刻要提起防备之心。
防备的，是真的威胁、真的危害；还是我多疑、多心了？

我们每天都在防备；防备自己的幸福，防备自己的资产，防备自己拥有的一切；
我们为何要防备，而防备的对象是谁？

虽然只是短短的十五年，但我已经感到十分疲惫了；
对这些需要、还是没有必要的防备，我已经感到十分疲倦了。
自己似乎就像是茫茫大海之中的一个无帆小船，
原本是要出海游玩，却要面对无情的海浪。

一定要处处防备吗？一定要舍心积率，反攻那些要害我们的人吗？
那么，为何还有人有要害我们，值得我们防备？

很多东西，到今天，我还是很不清楚，也找不到答案；
对于这句“害人之心不可有，防人之心不可无”，我也无法完全解释。
纯朴的人类，生下来的时候，拥有一颗赤子之心；
那位和他们一出生，就要学习如何提防他人？

上了中学三年，我看得、听得、体会的，实在太多了；
经历了很多事，让我明白某些东西真正的含义。
不过，到现在，对很多事，我还是无法找到一个解释。

世间险恶，有些亡命之徒，不惜不择手段来谋取自己的利益。
防，是一定要防，防被那些明抢暗箭；
不过，不可为了自己的利益，而伤害其他人。

防防害害，害害防防；很多的东西，都是靠防和害得来的。
害人，来获取自己没由的东西；防人，来保存自己已有的东西。
有些人用尽一生精力，用“害”和“防”来谋取很多出生时没有的东西；
一生中的时间，都花在谋取物质上的享受，及达到那机械化的生活上。

其实，能够保留出世时，那颗纯朴、天真的赤子之心，
已经是一生中能得到最大的财产了。

错过；过错

人生中，最令人感到不知所措的时刻，
就是犯了错，然后迷失了方向。

人非圣贤，孰能无过；知错能改，善莫大焉。
一定，非圣非贤得我们经常都有犯错的时候，
闯出了大祸，造成一些不堪设想的后果。
犯错是常事；无论是错得大意，错得离谱，还是错得不甘愿；
犯错，就是犯错，后果是一个无法改变的事实。

犯错在某个程度上无关紧要；
最重要的事，要吸取教训，不要再犯。

我总觉得自己有的时候好奇怪。
有的时候，刚开始接触某些东西时，难免会因为经验不足而犯错；
不过往后接触相似或是同样的东西时，
似乎好像被人下了一道魔咒；
越是接触它，越是犯错。

可能是自己没有从上次的错误中吸取教训；
还是自己所经历的没有到可以解决这个问题的程度；
我不晓得。

犯错是难免的，是可以补救的；
不过连续出错，问题就不再是否吸取教训。

有的时候，我们兴致勃勃地往某一方面发展；
过后可能遇到一个绊脚石，栽了个头。
就在这个时候，我们原本德的信念，原本的信心，原本的冲劲；
就因为突如其来的阻碍力，还是未曾发现的障碍物，
而一概消失。

没有了坚持的信念，没有了肯定的信心，没有了使我们前进的冲劲；
第一仗无法旗开得胜，士气大减；要如何越战越勇？
因为一次的过失，失去了自我的肯定；
漫漫长路上，面对许许多多的挑战，很可能屡战屡败，
最后不得以要鸣金收兵。

犯错无关紧要，能否只经历一次失败而能够写出百战百胜的兵法，
其实，并非我们应该优先考虑到的；
犯错能改正，改得不好，可以在改。

不要因为一次失败，而感到害怕；
不要因为一次的战败，而鸣金收兵；
不要因为一次的过错，而失去原本的信念。
不要因为一次的失败，而失去对自我的肯定。

对自己是如此，对他人也不例外。

一次的错误，不代表永远的错误；
一次的失败，不代表你是永远的失败者。

人人常说，“失败乃成功之母”；
没有经历过失败，没有犯过错，
那叫我们如何了解自己不足的地方，叫我们如何向成功前进？

然而，犯了多少错，是否从中学习、改过，
本人认为，并非最重要；

重要的是，犯错时，犯错后；失败时，失败后，
不要迷失了方向，不要失去自己原本的信念。

今日掉入坑里，坚持下去还可以爬出来；
如果因为一次的失足而放弃，那就永远无法补救了。
无论接下来如何改过，学到的道理有多少；
倘若一开始就失去信念，失去自我的肯定，
那么这一系列的战役，注定是要以失败收场。

人非圣贤，孰能无过；知错能改，善莫大焉。
犯错，改过；坚持的信念，始终不能遗弃。

有的错误，使自己的过错；也有的，是因为自己错过。
无论如何，以后，不要再犯那同样的错误了。

犯错，不要迷失方向。
失败，不要失去信念。

回首过去

不时回首，看看走过的荆棘密布；
似乎对自己的坚持、自己的毅力感到庆幸。
然而，往另一个方面想，人生中还有多少的苦难，多少的挑战，
才能看到那苦尽甘来。

我的人生是一场悲剧。
倘若把人生比作为一场比赛，
那么我曾未赢过，三甲也进不了；
甚至每一场都跑出一个最后一名。

人家从未看得起我，我也对自己没有太大的抱负；
我是一个没有任何本领的人。
琴棋书画，刀枪剑棒，我没一样通；
人格品性，相信大家会把我排在众人之后。

对于每一件事，每一方面，我从未有一个值得骄傲的东西。
操场上，球技不佳的我没有一个立足之地；
情场上，面目可憎的我独立过了十五年的人生。
学业上，我连一个探花郎也没有取过；
交际上，我好像每一次都在孤军作战。

我的痛楚，大家应该认为是小儿科；
不过仔细想想，你是一个没有本领可骄傲，
没有朋友可依赖，没有技巧能炫耀的人吗？

精神上的流失，生理上的缺欠，
使我成为都市中的大输家。

不过，我很庆幸，也感到十分安慰；
在众多挑战，众多困难中，我从未气馁，
我从未放弃，我从未认输。
可能某一天，我的生活会过得较好一些；
不过我了解，那自我的精彩，只能感动我自己。

经历了十五年的大风大浪，一个小孩，
还有那些没经历过？
人祸方面就差战争二字，天灾，我好像只见过水灾。
心灵上的折磨，精神上的挑战，让我在青涩的少年期间，
快速成长，错过那少年的无知，少年的懵懂。

曾经常常过问自己，为何上天对我如此不公平？
我曾听过一个故事：
越甜的苹果越好吃，每一个人，其实就是一粒苹果。
上帝总爱往较甜的苹果大大地咬一口，
让苹果留下大大的缺陷。
出生布衣就算了，经历的事情，
是要怨天对我不平，还是要怪我自己当时太过血气方刚？

妈妈常教导我，英雄不怕出生低；
我一直相信，今天的痛苦，是在为明天而磨练。
今天的挑战，是要教导我如何应付明日的难关。
今天的流失，今天的过错，是要我明白往后的日子要学会珍惜。
今天的一切，其实就不过是种种考验罢了。

倘若有一天我出人头地，
那时候唯一值得我骄傲的，
就是我卑微，艰难，与众不同的身世。

跑了十多年的龙套，
总有一天，会换我做那潇洒迷人的武生。

往日的照片

无意之间，找到了一张照片（不是上面那张）。

这张照片对我来说意义慎重。
那好像是我们唯一一起拍过的照片吧。
唯一的一张只有我和你的照片。
看了，有一点高兴；真得很高兴认识你。
然后又有一点悲伤；难过我们今日的友谊没那时的深。
不过，又看了那张照片一眼；
它又勾起了许许多多往日的回忆。

朋友一生一起走，那些日子不再有。。。

我不是一个热诚于摄影的人，
不过，我的生命中曾经有一段摄影的小插曲。
回说着往日的回忆，往日的美好，往日的遗憾。

还记得以前很喜欢把一些古怪，或是搞笑的画面给拍下来；
把这些照片留着，留着日后自己“欣赏”，
想让自己再次回味当时的心情，当时的气氛。
看看某些照片，勾起当时的一些美好；
看看某些照片，又觉得人生之中遗憾太多，
“以前的生死之交，为何成了今日的陌生人呢？”

曾经拍过一张照片；是偷拍的。
那时候，忘了是学校主办哪一个活动；
众人都到学校的礼堂还是草场去了。
糊涂得我把东西一搂在课室里，所以便掉头回课室拿东西去。
哇，给我看到一出好戏！
Y小姐正伏在书桌上熟睡，而X先生在她旁边，深情地望着她。

年少懵懂的我，把有照相功能的手机拿出来，“咔嚓”。

“喂！他X的你干吗？”

“小声一点，等一下吵醒人家，then你就game over了！”

后来，我与X先生成了深交，才发现他暗恋Y小姐很久了。
那一段日子，了解了他与Y小姐“一起拥有”的美好回忆，
也听了X先生吐了很多的苦水；只差还没买醉而已。
然后的，我们两个bachelor常常一起出门；
从中的一些经历、谈话，可看出他对Y小姐一片痴情。
可以为她写情歌，为她伤心一整天。。。
到了现在，还不知倒药用哪一个词来解释他的一往情深。

哇。

后来，2010年开始了。
X先生和Y小姐去了不同的班级；
X先生在新的班级里，找到了新的春天；
两人的恩爱，众人所知，是一个不用再多加说明的事实。
不知到是爱情的力量伟大，还是X先生以忘了过去的痴情与痛苦；
这对情侣在年终考试，分别得了班级的榜眼、探花。

Y小姐就不那么清楚了；
我只知道的是，她与我现在是八拜之交，
我还要叫她一声姐姐。

不过有一点我很清楚：
那张照片已失去它的价值，它的意义。
它似乎成了X先生不可告人的秘密的一部分，
也好像是Y小姐从未知道的一部插曲。
现在把它拿出来，Y小姐应该会惊吓过度而死；
X先生不用说，一定拿着一把菜刀追我。

少年时期的懵懂无知，少年时期的血气方刚；
今时今日，已烟消云散了。
往日情，似乎成了美好未来的绊脚石；
那，是一个不能说的秘密。

毫无利用价值的照片，亮出来会惹来杀生之祸；
它只好随着当年的回忆，当年的精彩，当年的美好，
一起走入相簿里。

往日的青涩，往日的美好；
往事，只能会味。

愿你我当日的照片，在不久的未来，
不知是往日的叙说；
八拜之交嘛，有今生无来世！

对了，说到这里，不知到我有多幼稚；
也不知道，有多少人准备找我算账。

不过，现在最渴望的，就是那一份友谊，
能够长长久久。

We're friends, right?

Shoes .

最近，好烦啊。

之前发生了一些事，导致了一些后果。。。
这些后果现在可给我带来很多麻烦。
先是小弟们他们准备接手大位的事；
某些人要上某些课程，就够我死了。
然后呢，又想起了一些有的没有的事。。。
有时候，不知到为何已经时过境迁，
当所有的人都把这事，这人给忘记了；
只有我孤独一个人，在那里隐隐作痛。

我说啊，两人相爱，就像穿鞋。
刚开始的时候，就可能对新鞋有点不习惯；
可能穿了脚会红肿、会起水疱。
又肯能会破皮，还是穿了会酸痛。

新鞋嘛，不穿不行，穿久了就会习惯。

这双鞋呢，陪着你走尽天涯海角；
陪你走过许多风风雨雨，踩过无数荆棘密布；
从四溅的浪花，到有刺的草丛，
它一直陪伴着你，保护着你的双脚。

穿久了，写自然而然越穿越垫底；
不过越穿，越旧。

等到有一天，这些坏了，该是换新鞋的时候；
我们才发现，我们对旧鞋产生了那么多的感情；
这双脚，也穿惯了旧鞋。

有的人，很幸运，一辈子能穿着一双自己喜欢的鞋，
陪着自己走进天涯海角；
有的人，一双双的鞋，很快就给他穿腻、穿破，
自己三五不时就要换鞋。
有的人呢，也可能一辈子都穿不到自己喜欢的鞋；
穿上一双破鞋子，就这样走完一生。

我啊，如今还是赤着双脚。
我也知道，这双鞋，我一辈子都没有机会去穿；
甚至连碰都没有碰的机会。
不过，愚蠢是有一点愚蠢；
要我赤着双脚一辈子，我也甘愿。

就因为你这双鞋，我不知花了多少精神去伤心；
就因为这双鞋，我不知错过了多少其他试鞋的机会。

明明知道这是一个无法圆满的梦，
为何还要逆水行舟，去做一件不可能的事，
去想一个不可能的结果，去等一个不可能的你？

也许我的双脚，这一次，
要为你而痛。

灵感曲子王识贤、孙淑眉的《旧鞋》。

风筝

又是一个让我感到纳闷的星期天。
今天有几位友人来到寒舍讨论功课；
接着，在他们离去之后，我好像又无所事事。
今天不想去碰那堆积如山的作业，
我只想好好休息一下，充充电池；
前几天的露营活动让我忙得不可开交，
这几天一定要好好休息一番，
把睡眠和精神给补回来。

不知到哪来的兴趣，
最近很喜欢听一些闽南歌曲；
把playlist里的一些脍炙人口的歌曲反复重播。
闽南歌曲嘛，曲调美，歌词更美，那歌声又是中气十足；
柔有柔的美，刚有刚的强。
和平常我们听的一些歌一样，
有疗伤的、秃废的、励志的、等等。

不过我却独中与那些“哀而不伤”的歌曲。

就是说嘛，一首歌，能唱出一个人的心情，一个人的感受。
这首风筝，似乎好像把我心里最黑暗，最隐秘的话给说了出来。
心里的悲伤一大堆，无奈数不清。
好想要这些心事，犹如风筝一样；
在风中展示自己的姿势，自由的飞翔。
好想让那一番无奈、那一对悲伤，随风而去。
不想把这些不愉快的事藏在心底；
只想它们犹如风筝在风中曼舞一样，
慢慢地，随着时间的流失，随风而飞。

眼看我周围的一些人，
有的学业名列前茅，有的琴棋书画样样通；
有的可是情场得意，生活甜蜜。
我呢，似乎有一点点的失败；
不过最扰人的，可是这个情字。

那种无奈，那种悲伤，那种心灰意不冷；
慢慢地，慢慢地，把我吞掉。
有时可真羡慕别人啊，能够满足自己那番青涩的欲望。
我呢，唯有仰天一笑，一杯杯高粱入肚。

也好，也好；小孩子应该以学业为重。

你的那一番作弄，那一番风凉，对你，可能只不过是一番玩笑；
其实你好象不知到，我有多么的失望，多么的难过。
换成是他人拿这件事来作弄我，我可以一笑而过；
不过，为何那个开我玩笑的人，是你，是我的朋友，我的姐妹？
我曾给过你那种困扰；如今，你应该明白我所承受的困扰吧。

星期日啊，我说，除了在家里听好歌，读好书，喝好酒，
不然，还有那些让人松懈身心的事？

下午风和日丽的话，我也许会去放风筝。

露营有感

露营没有想象中的完美；
事后的结果也没有意料中的美好。
发生了好几些事，导致了某些后果。

我说啊，今日的割袍断义，是我的过失、我的过错；
不过我相信，这将会令你发觉自己的潜能，让自己再创高峰。
也许你今日看不见我做事的原则；
不过我总相信，当你在不久的将来，站在我的角度看东西时，
也许你应该会明白我所作所为的理由。

不过那时，我应该退伍了；
这新的江山、新的天下，将会是你们的囊中物。

这三天两夜，我无时无刻失魂落魄；
脑海里，总想这些有的没有的。
想着子弟的将来，想着露营后该看那些电影；
不过，我无时无刻想着她。
好想见她一面，不过看到她的时候总觉得要回避一下；
很想跟她聊聊天，不过两个不同世界的人，
好像没有一些共同的话题。

那时候无意之间看到你，
整个人也就精神起来了。

这次的露营给我留下了很多回忆，很多的满足，也有很多的遗憾；
不过重要的是，这次露营之后，
小孩子们将会有一个新的开始。
那你们可要多多加油啦！

长江后浪推前浪，世上新人超故人；
我相信，你们继承我们的优点，把它们加以发扬光大；
我也相信，你们会改善我们美中不足的地方，
让以后的活动更完善、更有意义。

你们是未来的主人翁，未来的世界，是属于你们的；
能否在未来拥有一个举足轻重的角色，
关键在于你们今日下了多少工夫。

就在往后的日子，让你们熟悉我们的痛楚；
也让我可以在一旁休息，享受美酒。

不知道你们有多少个会看到这篇文章；
你们接受大位的准备工夫，考验你们能力的挑战，
这些我可收我已经仁至义尽了；
往后如何，要靠你们团结起来，共同发展美好的未来。

我在这里，
预祝你们在往后的日子，
旗开得胜，越战越勇！

Recounts

Again, I spent some time reading my past few posts,
particularly those around this time last year.

Once again, though I've mentioned these countless times,
I feel like laughing at myself everytime I read my old posts;
laughing at my past ignorance, my stupidity, my immaturity.
I didn't realised that I'm so much a joke,
or I'm such an ignorant, naive kid,
until I began to walk down the memory lane.

And yet, on the other perspective,
I salute myself for my current mindset;
I'm so glad that I made so much progress through such a short period of time,
and I'm relieved that for now, I'm not as ignorant as I am in the past.
Alone I am laughing at those posts I wrote in march 2010;
really, It's quite funny when to try to understand the old you.

I must say this blog is sort of a mirror for me;
a mirror of qualities, a mirror of my actions, a mirror of who's friend and foe.
I often read my old post and those old tags;
just to remind myself of how ignorant I used to be,
as well as reminding myself of the previous mistakes that I made.
By doing so, I hope that I'll keep the big message in mind:
never to revert back to your old ways,
and keep up and improve on whatever I'm improving now.

While typing this post, I am multi-tasking,
reading those old post, month by month;
laughing while I clicked all the way from 2009 to 2010;
but yet, I'm rather surprise at the literature quality I produce at times.

Men do make mistakes, men are not always perfect.
One of the reasons that I opened this blog,
is that I want my everyday doings and thinking to be recorded,
and recorded in such a way that I have the public to judge my perspective.
Maybe some adults or older teens might laugh at my way of thought;
but I do believe, at least i made a bit of improvement through the months.

It is experience that makes a man grow.
From December 2008, where I have zero experience of life,
till November 2010, where I made certain improvement in some areas;
well, I say, we learn as we grow,
we understand more as we go through certain incidents.

Perhaps not only have blogging earned me some bad reputation;
it gives me some public opinion, and polished my English as well.

Today, I might be satisfied with my words;
but tomorrow, maybe I'll be laughing at the immaturity of yesterday.

We experience as we grow,
we learn as we experience;
we understand as we experience,
we mature as we understand.

Life, maybe, perhaps, is all just a learning process.

I hope that this mirror is always here;
let me judge myself from my past and current,
let me others judge me from my words and thoughts.

Maybe some time later I might published a post,
which is scorning at laughing at the current me,
and my current posts;
scorning at the immaturity, laughing at the lack of experience.

But if that is to happen,
it just means that I gained a higher level in understanding.

Recollections

When I was a few years younger,
I was a very impatient person.
I didn't have the patience for everything;
I couldn't bear to wait for anything, anyone.
I was all round bashful and hotheaded;
I always insist things my way,
and didn't spare much a thought for others.

I must say being impatient and hotheaded used to be my biggest flaws.
Used to, used to; now, so much have changed for the better.
These 'qualities' stick with me for 13 years or so;
until, some change took place in life.

I met you guys, I met you all, I met you.

You guys have different personalities-
but it was the same mindset that bounds you all together.
Sticking with you all for two or so years,
makes me understand that I have to spare a thought for others;
things, doesn't just only revolves around me.
From all the fights, unhappiness, then to the reconcile;
you guys taught me how to spare a thought for others,
you guys taught me how to see things from different perspective.

You people were the hardest bunch of human I ever deal with-
a big mixture of different personalities, different taste, different thinking.
Having to work with you all for two years,
taught me how to deal actions that could result in a more widespread satisfaction.
Sometimes it seemed like you people are always finding fault with me-
I admit, I was never a perfect person, but in contrary,
I used to be one that was such an 'all rounded failure'.
You people and all the drama and sagas...
It taught me the way of effective leadership, organisation skills;
as well as teaching me to keep my calm when dealing with certain people,
and the mindset of forgive and forget.
It was hard times serving you people-
but it was the best memories of my life.

You're just one unique person-
it seems like you're totally different from all the others,
and it seemed like you're born naturally to stand out among all people.
Now what happens when fire meets with oxygen;
an even bigger fire is the outcome!
All the different opinions we had, all the different perspective we took,
results in all the quarrels that contained so much unhappiness.
Maybe those quarrels were something that give each other a bad impression;
but definitely, it leads me to understand you even better.

All your scoldings, quarrels, rantings...
I must say, they matured me, to a great extent.
It was all fine, sharply, aiming at all my shortcomings.
Yes, perhaps at that point of time, it does hurts a lot, those words;
but then, it lead me to understand myself better,
and to change for a better me.
Working with you was never easy; we had different point of views all the time.
Somehow or rather, the time that I spent working with you,
really, they taught me a lot of stuff.

Two years, it might be a whole deal of drama all day long;
nevertheless, I believe I still have all the good memories,
shared between me and you guys, me and you people, me and you.
All the joy and laughter we spent as a whole clique of boys;
the lame jokes, the sarcastic remarks, the fun and joy.
And all the school events and competitions I went through with you people;
the bond as a class together, the team spirit within us.
And last but not least, all the experience I have together with you;
having to work together, having to serve the class together.

It was a whole lot of good memories, a whole lot of laughter and joy back then.

One year went by, and we've walked our separate paths for a year-
sometimes, I just feel like taking a U-turn,
and walk once again on the paths we had walked together for two years.
I want to have a resurrection of those good ol' days;
but alas, what is over, is already over;
all the good times we had in the seasons in the sun,
were all just gone like the seasons.

I'm waiting for the next summer, the seasons of the sun once more;
I firmly believe, no matter how far we part from each other,
perhaps one day, we'll meet each other at a corner, or junction in our paths.

Perhaps, all have to be over and stored as beautiful memories;
I just hope that you guys, you people, you,
remember all the fun times we had together.

It's been a year or so, and yet, everytime I think of those good ol' days;
they never fail to cheer me up.

Everything have a start, as well as an ending,
everyone have to come, and yet part another day;
But I still believe, the paths will once cross each other again,
the season of summer, will arrive after spring.

Dear friends we shall meet once more.

WOOHOO

This is a awesome Sunday that makes me go 'WOOHOO' !

So, I spent one morning at Serangoon,
doing some voluntary work.
What's the big deal here is not the work I do;
but the knowledge I learn,
the experience I gained,
the incidents I saw,
the facts I understand,
the time I spent.

But what's even a bigger deal,
is the people I met,
and the people I saw.

I don't know what to say,
all i can say that it was SUPER fun.
And meaningful, after all I'm playing my part for environmentalism.
Seeing the residents of Serangoon moving out so many biodegradable stuff,
I finally understand that how our 'daily trash' are actually so useful.
They can be recycled, and make into recycled products.

I never knew that plastic bottles could be made into a SHIRT.

I never knew that 50kg of newspaper recycled is a 20 years old tree saved.

I never knew that the people there were that nice.

I never knew that what I'm doing is so much meaningful than sleeping at home.

I never knew that I'll meet your dad there.

He looks fit, huh?

I believe all the time I spending here in front of the computer...
All the time for facebook, for games, for music;
well, they could be better used in doing things that are much more meaningful.

Better than slacking and playing, I assumed.

Alright, who wants to join me in the next environmental programme next month?

Thoughts on a Rainy Day

It's currently raining outside.
Like the weather,
my heart is now cold and bleak.
Boredom resides deep in my heart,
and a sense of chill came out from this boredom.

This morning was the school open house.
Well, the usual stuff,
joking around with some people,
and then try to 'sell' the CCA to visitors.
It just seems like NCC goes well with the school's reputation for good discipline.
But well, many didn't realised this CCA produced a lot of jokers.

Mr Lee came to me today.
And he asked me about this lady,
who had been harassing me previously.
"She just wants to clear the misunderstanding and rebuild the friendship."
"Oh I never ever treated her as a friend before."

Among all mistakes and wrong destinies in life,
sad to say, that was the most ugly, the most fearful, the most traumatizing.

I met several people in my life,
who at certain point of time,
makes a difference or holds an important position in my life.
Some of them came as friends, some came as enemies;
some are still here walking along with me,
yet some walked away into separate paths.

At certain crossroads,
you might meet some travellers that you didn't like;
likewise, at certain junctions,
you might have to part with certain companions that you're strongly bonded with.

Came and went friends, enemies, brothers, sisters;
some friends became strangers that will never greet each other,
some enemies became great friends of important position in life.
A few brothers and sisters walked a different path due to conflicting ideologies;
yet others, whom I didn't like,
were forced by me into another path at the next crossroads.

How many I've met, how many I've lost;
how many had came, how many had went.

Some left beautiful memories in my journey;
whereas some left behind nightmares that haunt me for the rest of my life.

A particular one, was, sadly, a mistake;
but that was the most perfect, most beautiful mistake in life that I'll never ever regret.

I wonder if there's any bond that is really eternal,
till the sun and moon dies,
and till the Judgement Day arrives.

Even though I haven't met one, but I believe.

I called you all brothers and sisters not for no meaning.

Because that was, that friendship, that brotherhood or sisterhood,
in which I want to make eternal.

Eternal for life.

These Days

It's been two days into the official holidays;
and still, I'm doing nothing productive,
other than reading a book about Sherlock Holmes.
The rest of the time is wasted away on TV, chips and sleep;
well, I think I ought to put my head down after a series of events.

Days are hard to go by these days.
Not in the financial manner;
what I mean is that life is kind of tiring and pissed these days.
Take for instance things that are happening around me,
and they'll surely affect the mood and morale you have for doing certain stuff.
Life is never easy or safe all the time.

I would say everything that I doing these days,
are all a gamble, all a risk.
I do not have much to consider before doing something;
and neither do I care a lot for the consequences of my actions.
A lot of things goes by in life to teach me the best solution to complicated problems:
Just view them easily, and they will be easy for you.

My 'O' levels, my exams previously...
Never did I gave much consideration for their consequences;
neither did I really went to prepare myself to deal with them.
I must admit that I'm energy drained;
I couldn't find anymore willpower to make myself focus on some stuff these days.
Hence, I took the last 'resort' to everything I'm doing-
either I make it passed the half way mark,
or I'll fail and die badly.

I just couldn't find that past confidence, that past willpower,
to propel and motivate myself to go forward in life.
After you get sick of everything that's happening around you,
what else is left?

I'm taking the 'take it easy' manner to myself,
is not just because that I'm getting sick and tired of certain things;
but I'm also sick and tired of failing all the times.
Maybe a few success and glory did come into life frequently,
but I'm tired of working with hard effort,
but only to realise that it was all wasted labour.

Maybe one day I should get away from all these,
find a good and nice place for vacation,
and bring along a good book and a bottle of good wine,
and then spent some time to relax myself,
before returning full of enthusiasm and energy.

What I want now, is just some good wine to indulge in,
and then a good companion to chat with;
chatting about all the things under the skies.

Take It EASY .

So, all the academic related activities comes to an end today;
but well, I still got a pile of work to do over the weeks.
Then I have my schedule tightly packed,
with several activities going on-
the more the merrier, I would say.

So now I can ease myself from the 'O' level stress;
coming up next will be planning on how to squeeze time out to do my work.
And the holiday schedule is really getting me excited-
a few courses going on here and there;
new stuff, new companions, new experience.
I guess that is what every holiday should be having.

My mind is in the very carefree mood now,
and I guess all I'm waiting for is just the fun coming up next,
from all my camps, courses, vacations...so on and so forth.
Can't wait till then, really, when you finally get a chance to 'release' yourself.

I believe for many people,
things are starting to get more and more serious.
After two or three science SPAs, and then for some of us a CL 'O' Level-
it might be a warning for many that it is time to start mugging.
But really, I don't give a damn;
I don't really care about how the results turn out to be,
much less the decision-making exams in the near future.

Life ain't all about living it for a tomorrow that is never reached;
take it easy, take things easy.
Go one step at a time.

So the holidays are starting.
Now what? I guess I'll miss a few of my classmates.

For all I knew, i can only say, this is my life,
IT IS MY PATH TO WALK; not the world's.

Best Fit Line

I always believe that life, is like a best fit line.
For life itself, and everything that happen in life,
you'll never find yourself perfection.
Instead, between all the variations and preferences,
we try to find ourselves a comfortable location,
so as to lie ourselves in.

A lot of things we do in life, they are never perfect.
Maybe they might be near a stage that is close to god mode-
but definitely, the erred human race never finds perfection in its members.

For every situation or problem in life,
definitely it is impossible to seek for a direct solution to it.
Not every solution in life could be 100% guarantee to solve a certain problem.
Instead, we often do what is deemed fit, what is best fit,
to salvage the remains of the situation itself.

I believe at every try and go in life,
many of us try to seek for perfection;
but only end up with a best fit line,
with all the points plotted so close to each other,
but they will never lie in a straight line.
Definitely not everything is absolute and perfect in life;
the results and outcome of everything are not perfect,
but at the same time, they ain't absolute.

How do i define that?
Well, it's just like failing a certain test or exam.
While it is out of the story for a score of perfection,
but definitely, the score on the negative scale will never be absolute.
For there are different phrases or 'kinds' to the word failure.
We could fail like no tomorrow and ranked at the very bottom;
or we can fail with dignity, with a lesson to learn, with an experience gained.

Like a best fit line, humans ain't 100% perfect;
and our actions ain't 100% absolute.

I always firmly believe that life is just like a piece of graph paper;
and then the plotted points are 'checkpoints of life';
the X and Y axis are the scale of the impact of our actions and thoughts;
and then the line drawn, is the 'moral of the story of life'.
These 'checkpoints of life' are everyday matters and situations;
they can also be situations whereby a decision decides our future.
Checkpoint after checkpoint, they formed a vivid image-
one for us to drawn the 'line of life'-
the ultimate enlightenment and understanding of whatever we've been through in life.

Of course at times the positions of the 'checkpoints',
as well as the scale or range of the 'line of line',
is indirectly affected by the X and Y axis of the 'graph of life'.
These scales are just a representation on who have been affected by us-
by our actions, by our words, by our thoughts.
The scale could be very small- to an extend of some family and friends around you.
Or it could be very big- a neighbourhood, a state, even the world.

Of course, to drawn a more suitable 'line of life',
the plotted 'checkpoints' have to be further apart to ensure accuracy-
this means every 'saga' or problem of our life is usually a big one,
given that the big understanding will enlighten more people.
If not, we have to plot more 'checkpoints'-
given the fact that if we go through more, we'll understand more;
hence, in a better position to influence people.

For me personally, my life is just like a graph too-
one with small scales, with plotted points far from each other.
And yet, I try to seek a balance between the turbulence,
trying to find a 'best fit position' in everything I experience in life.
My scale on the X and Y axis might be weird and wrong,
my best fit line might be super far from god mode or perfection;

But I will say proudly,
that line of life,
is the best attainment, the furthest stage,
the most-near-to-perfection status I can obtain.

Perhaps at the end of everything,
my line might not have touched a single plotted point-
but at least, with everything I wrote and drawn on the graph paper;
my life, is complete.

For a certain presence resides in everything,
to give all a common identity, a common explanation.
That is Tao.

Random

Apparently the so called 'long weekend' isn't enough to satisfy me;
I spent much of Friday shopping for daily necessities,
and then slacked and play the whole of Saturday away.
Here, I am, wondering what should I be doing for a Sunday afternoon.

For most of my 15 years of mortality I dislike Sundays.
To me, it's no other than an indication;
an indication that indicates that the weekend is ending,
and you have to get your ass back to school the next day.
Other than watching some soap dramas or reading a classical novel,
I couldn't find much to do on a Sunday.
For my whole life I never been to Sunday services;
if the lunar 1st or 15th falls on a Sunday,
then maybe I'll get a bit of religious.

I tend to think a lot during these three days.
Thinking about last year's November and December,
as well as thinking about what should I be doing next week,
after the school's extra curriculum time.

I remember at this point of time last year,
life was very much different from now.
I was rather enthusiastic in my CCA,
and then, used to go out a lot with my friends.
It was all about merrymaking and enjoying;
while waiting for a brand new year to kick off.

But apparently I don't understand how things went wrong in 2010,
and left me in this pathetic and desperate state.

A lot of my goals and values changed, I would say.
I wouldn't bother much about my CCA anymore,
and then, my personality change drastically.
I agree that changing is for the better,
but then, I still preferred the good ol' days,
when I'm still young at heart and reckless.

Life wasn't like this at this point of time last year.
How versatile is life, I say.
In one year's time, a lot of things change.
The old feelings, the old bonds, the old fondness... ain't there anymore.

I'm not a person who gets rooted in the past;
neither am I one who have a clear vision for the future.
All I enjoy is living in the present.
As the Kung Fu Panda quote goes,
'Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.'
So, I presumed that living in and for today is somewhat fortunate;
for I never know what might happen tomorrow.

But there's a few regretful choices or actions I have in the past;
and ironically, I brought them forward with me to today.
But if the good Heaven is kind and generous enough;
I would like to atone my actions for this bad karma,
and perhaps, make 'reparations' to a few people.

Life is always like this.
We make a mistake, then things screw big time,
and we get stuck in it, never to atone.

But what matters is that, do not commit the same shit again.

There's a lot of people who walked past my life,
and left a lot of memorable footsteps.
Though these footsteps were deep and hard;
but those people never stopped.
At times I did chased some people away from my life,
and erased their footsteps;
but there are some, I wanted them to stay,
but they never did.

I wonder who is coming next.

But I hope, you will take a detour.

song of life

人生，似乎就好像一首歌；
虽然短暂，但是给人留下深刻的影像。
人生，他就好像一首歌一样；
似乎首首都能够动人心铉。

每个人的人生有着不同的故事，
就如每一首歌，有着不同的主题。
有的是苦涩温馨的情歌，
都得这是秃废，暗淡的情歌。
有的是动人肺腑的双人情歌；
但有的人，确是双人情歌单人唱。

有的人的一生唱出了激发人心的励志歌曲，
也有的，用华丽的歌词，串入大家的心中。

有秃废的歌，励志的歌；
温馨的情歌，伤感的情歌。
一首歌，它就是一个故事；
一世认，他唱出自己的歌曲。

不同的人，有不同的经历；
不同的经历，给我们歌曲填了不同的词，谱了不同的曲。
有的人为爱情流泪，唱出了伤感的情歌；
有的人在失败后从新起步，一首励志歌曲唱出了他的壮志。

看破红尘，脱离俗事；
有的，则念出了句句佛语。

生命的歌，不只是由自己来谱、来唱；
路过我们人生的每一个人，
都在那动人的旋律中，留下一个小调。
有的时候，生命的歌似乎是他们在谱，过后由自己来唱。
又有的时候，是自己在谱曲，他人来填词；
或者是他人在谱曲，自己来填词。

生命中遇见的每一个人，
都会在自己动人的旋律中留下一个音调。
自己，也会在他人的旋律中，
留下一个属于两个人的音调。

唱得伤心，唱得开怀；
一首歌总是要唱完，
一世人总是要过完。

我的人生，是一首“笨小孩”。
的确，是唱得很辛苦，唱得很刺耳；
不过自己的歌，自己一定要唱完。

我希望你能为我填这人生的词，
为我谱这生命之曲。
我很希望，你能在我心里留下一首歌。

很希望，自己的歌，
就上上面的雪中花一样。

Life? Live?

It's another typical school day like yesterday;
life is always going at the same old speed,
repeating the same old pattern.
Soon we'll be stressed up with various tests and exams,
and then, once school reopen,
everything starts again. All that rat race.
Don't really expect yourself to be catching a breather these days.

I'm just wondering,
if there will be such a day,
whereby everything just break apart;
you screw up things that you thought you'll never,
and then, everything takes a different perspective.

Accidents do occur in life.

I would agree that I'm idling time away these days;
well, towards the rainy season you will not have the mood to work.
I thought if one day I'm to be enlightened of everything in the mundane world;
then perhaps I'll give everything up,
and go live in Tibet or Bhutan,
and spent the rest of my life deep in the mountains,
separated from all worldly affairs.

Inner Peace is something that is so hard to seek,
but not impossible to attain.

It's all the same old stuff as last year;
CCA resuming with lots of camp coming up,
and then all the holiday events the school have for you;
a lot of things I'm doing at this period of time,
will really determine the life I'll live in the next few years;
but instead of feeling concentrated or focused,
I tend to view it in a light-heart manner.

It's not that I'm not serious with things around me,
but I'm just choosing to take things easy.

I don't know why,
but at certain points of life,
when you finally understood certain stuff or be enlightened from certain conditions,
a lot of things doesn't seem really that important and serious to you anymore.
Likewise, some stuff that you don't even bother in the past,
becomes the ultimate aim that you are leading your live for.

It's the same in me.
At certain point of time,
when your thinking start to change due to the changing environment,
your perception of things around you change as well.

Everyday I wake up, without much aim or target;
all I knew is that I shall lead my life easily, happily, care-freely.
The assignments I get today, I'll do my best to finish them today,
for I don't know what might happen tomorrow;
Things about tomorrow, I'll not be bothered with them;
for a man living in the current wouldn't worry himself with the future.

Let nature takes it course, I say.
But meanwhile, let us live in the current, let us live meaningfully out of every moment.

Let us live easily and happily for the current,
let us live all the best out of today.

If all the time, we're living for the future, we're living for tomorrow;
then we'll not see any enlightenment out of our lives,
for every next day is termed 'tomorrow';

But if we are to live the best out of today....

Maybe you'll be surprised by what you get out of it.

Life's actually something that's simple and easy;
don't make it complicated and hard that it shouldn't be.

Problems, Enlightenment, Continuation

Last time I used to wonder a lot,
why would certain events happen in my life,
and why would my life would be in such a way,
such that I didn't like it?
I would say, shit happens all the time in life;
but being part and partial of mortally life,
it is something that we must learn not only to accept,
but to understand, as well as overcome.

I have been 'counselling' some people with problems in life:
the problems that I once came across in life.
Like them, at the time the problem arises,
I felt helpless and stranded,
as if like the problem will stay for a long time,
never to go.

Some things in life are what we deliberately seek for;
others, are what that come to us upon chance and luck.

Certain people always ask me, or whine about,
"why is life so unfair to me? why is it like this?"
Like what I said previously (refer to Creation, Problems, Enlightenment);
problems and sufferings are there to lead us to understanding,
and even enlightenment of a certain event, certain value.

But life is never just about one story itself.

Every problem that we faced results in an experience as well as a lesson;
all together, they formed memories that have a certain goal or aim.
Just like reading a book, it is made up of different chapter;
and each chapter will lead you to another,
until at the end of the book you come to understand a certain moral of the story.
Every chapter of the book has it own climax,
as well as resolution to it.
It might be a different chapter as from before,
or a continuation of the previous chapter.

Life, is all the same like a book.
Every problem in life have a certain 'climax',
which I refer to as the 'biggest shit' in the whole problem;
and as well as a resolution to a problem,
in which the problem is solved and we understand something,
or we learn something.

Then life is never just only about one problem.
Just like chapter following chapter in a book,
problems follow problems in life.
Every problem that you go through makes you stronger,
preparing you to deal with the next problem coming up;
every problem might be a new encounter in life,
or an aftermath of the previous problem you faced;
be it a bigger version, or the consequences of the previous problem.

Through every problem, we learn and understand something;
frame everything up together, it surely leads us to somewhere,
and ensures that we understand the ultimate moral of our 'Story Of Life'.

Every different encounter, problem in life,
is just like a checkpoint;
you still have a lot more to clear in the road ahead.
And every encounter, problem in life,
is also like a clue;
it leads you to the next stage in life,
and leads you ahead in your own destiny.

I believe that all men are born with a designated destiny of their own;
be it a duty to create new aspects in the mortal realm,
or Lord Buddha's grace for them to clear the checkpoints they didn't in their previous life;
all of us, have our own destiny to face, our own problems to solve, our own road to run.

The moral of the story is often at the back of the book,
with various chapters leading you to the last and final chapter.
The moral and final enlightenment of life is at the end of life,
with various problems and encounters leading you to the last part of life.

It takes us a lifetime to run this road of life,
in order to reach the final endpoint, the designated enlightenment.

For this isn't everything;
the mortal realm, as I believe, is a required process,
for us to understand and enlighten from the wisdom of mankind.

Everything in life has it purpose for being there;
every understanding in life have its duty to bring you to a higher level;
every enlightenment will bring you closer to a bigger picture;
Life, have its reasons for being the way it is.

Accepting life as the way it is, isn't conceding defeat;
accepting it, means that you take up the challenge,
to face the hard lessons that it is going to give you.

Creation, Problems, Enlightenment

When new things are created,
new problems arises along with the new creation.
And when new problems arises,
there are bound to be suffering.

I don't know how am I going to prove this theory of mine,
but if I'm going to take a look at the evolution of mankind;
I guess the history has already tell us everything about it.
From the creation of civilisation,
states go to war to acquire more land and more slaves;
from the creation of weapons,
steel and iron that supposed to be beneficial tools turns into war instruments;
from the discovery of new technology and chemicals,
they were all put into warfare, bringing even more destruction.

Every discovery and creation in life brings along its problems.
But I would say, every creation and discovery mount a milestone in civilisation;
and the challenges awaiting us in these creations,
are there to guide us towards another milestone in our civilisation.
And from every discovery or creation,
there are bound to be problems,
and lessons learnt from these problems.

Mankind spent centuries improving warfare technology,
mounting new milestone in the weapons industry;
yet to only come to a conclusion,
whereby peace is the most valuable and priceless thing in this world.

And this theory goes the same for our life.
In the perspective of life, I would say,
this little theory of mine is seen through our sufferings.

Every birth of a new child,
is one new creation of nature.
And when this new being comes to the world;
he or she, will bound to have her own problems.
In the process of life, as we grow up,
we face problems and stress in various aspects;
as the time goes by, these problems gets bigger,
and the stress becomes heavier.

Never there is a life that is smooth sailing.
If I would say, as mentioned above,
problems are there for us to learn something, or discover something;
then, what are these sufferings in our lives for?

The presence of the natural cycle is in every being;
especially in our mortally life.

Life is full of problems and challenges.
Now, let us look at an example:
Your mathematics textbook is full of problem sums,
and we often have to crack our heads to get about the sum.
Each sum consist of different skills and different solving methods.
The ability to solve each sum proves our proficiency in a certain area of a skill,
or justify our ability to make use of a certain solving method on a sum.

Life is the same, with this pattern everywhere.
Our life is full of problems and sufferings,
and we have to think of ways to get about the problems,
or to stop the sufferings from going on.
Each problem and suffering in our life is caused by different factors.
The ability to endure through a suffering, or solving a problem,
proves our understanding in a certain factor that leads to life problems,
or our enlightenment of why there is suffering happening in life.

Be it problem sums in our mathematics textbook,
or problems and sufferings in life;
both have a common agenda, or aim:

At the completion or the end,
we'll sure understand something, or learn something.
The harder a problem sum, the more we learn;
the harder life is, the more we understand.

It has always been a fact that great historical figures undergo harsh sufferings,
in order to understand life, or to gain enlightenment;
or perhaps, to persevere with their goal of life.

For example, the inventor of economical cheap paper,
Marquis Cai Lun, had undergo castration;
The founder of the Soviet Union,
Lenin, had undergo suffering and persecution,
before he established the world's first communist regime,
which fought hard against Western democracies.

Even Lord Buddha himself undergo suffering,
before he gained enlightenment.

For every new creation, there is, new knowledge behind it.
The problems that these creations serve,
are gateways towards the knowledge in these creation;
or maybe at a higher level,
towards understanding and enlightenment.

For life, there is, bound to be sufferings.
A great deal of morals, virtues, and wisdom are hidden behind these sufferings.
The problems and sufferings serve as a bridge towards these hidden treasures;
to bring us towards understanding, and enlightenment of life.

Prayer

Ten fingers rounding three joss sticks,
"For peace and harmony",
Sincerely prayed the devotee.
"Life's all a challenge,"
The deity whined,
"You have to work your effort, for what you prayed for."


Disasters and calamities,
Broken homes and cries of war.
There came a rainbow after the storm;
An unfading peace after chaos.
Casket after casket, corpse after corpse;
Tears ran down the pinkish cheeks,
Grieving, at the price to pay.


"Why a mountain full of corpse!"
Cursed the devotee to Heaven.
Closing His eyes, He said calmly,
"All were just, the price for what you prayed for."


Never an easy life,
Never an effortless success.
The lessons that we learned today,
are what we prayed for tomorrow.


For life is never smooth sailing,
for there is no free lunch in the world.
For there is no dominance over the Earth;
deities, humans, spirits, live together.

Often, we put our palm together,
and said a little prayer through our lips.
Ever had it came to your mind,
how is this prayer going to come true?

Deities wouldn't bestowed it to you freely;
no the things you ask for wouldn't just dropped from the sky.
You have to prove yourself well;
well to entitled yourself to what you prayed for,
well to protect whatever that is bestowed to you.

Everyday a million devotees prayed for peace and harmony.
But are we, the greedy humans, entitled to enjoy this peace?

For all wars and calamities, all deaths and casualties,
are nothing but a challenge to you.
A challenge to see if you are fit to say that prayer.
A chance for you to earn what you want you said in the prayer.

Life is never the easy way out.
If whatever we prayed for, is what we asked for;
then, we have to get them through our own efforts,
and proved ourselves to be worthy to be entitled to them.

无奈

“青楼满座
只有风雨声在门外沉默
那姗姗来迟的我
尽管微醉却依旧倾城倾国
飘扬的彩绘披帛
就足以把所有的心
全部都捕获
全部都迷惑...”

世间上，很多时候，很多的事情，
都藏着许多的无奈。
无奈事情无法向我们想象中的那么顺利，无奈生活并非如童话故事中那般美好；
无奈自己需做一些自己不愿意做的事，无奈现实那么的残忍。

很多东西或事情，都常常心有余而力不足；
想要做某一件事的时候，却发现自己没有那个本事去完成它。
也有很多的东西，都是勉强不来的；
想要成全自己的某个欲望，理想，却得到众人的反对。
同时有很多的想法，就不过是异想天开；
脑里想的，心里感觉的，很难在现实生活中办到。

人生处处钉子多，生活无奈难去算。

人生中最大的失望，并非失败；
至少失败之前，我们曾进努力过，享受努力的过程。

无奈，是还没有动工之前，
就明白自己无法去完成那一件事。
无奈，最失望，也最可悲。

毕竟生活并非一帆风顺，
遇到无奈的事时，
我们有能奈何呢？
也就不过是心有余，而力不足。

人生处处有转角，生活琐事有出头。

可能这里无奈了一下，
生命中的下一个转角，
说不定有意外的收获呢？
可能这里你是力不从心，
生活中的下一个段落，
说不定就能事事顺心呢？

人生无奈百般，却也有无限的机会。

很多时候，我做事，或是经历的事，也是非常的无奈。
明明知道那不是心里想要的结果，
但也没有那个能力去改变事实。
可是却在生活中山重水复疑无路时，
以外的发现，
下一个转角确是柳暗花明又一村。
这里，自己无法找到一个属于自己的空间；
那里，也未必不能过收容你。

世间险恶，随着岁月的流失，
人性变得越来越黑暗，
人，也不再如以前那么纯朴，那么友善。
地球不停的旋转，人心也慢慢，变得越来越深，越来越暗。

但是我总相信，在某一个光明的角落，
还有一个未受世间影响的人，
本性纯朴，洁白如玉；
那里，在那个人的身边，
永远没有无奈。