Random

Apparently the so called 'long weekend' isn't enough to satisfy me;
I spent much of Friday shopping for daily necessities,
and then slacked and play the whole of Saturday away.
Here, I am, wondering what should I be doing for a Sunday afternoon.

For most of my 15 years of mortality I dislike Sundays.
To me, it's no other than an indication;
an indication that indicates that the weekend is ending,
and you have to get your ass back to school the next day.
Other than watching some soap dramas or reading a classical novel,
I couldn't find much to do on a Sunday.
For my whole life I never been to Sunday services;
if the lunar 1st or 15th falls on a Sunday,
then maybe I'll get a bit of religious.

I tend to think a lot during these three days.
Thinking about last year's November and December,
as well as thinking about what should I be doing next week,
after the school's extra curriculum time.

I remember at this point of time last year,
life was very much different from now.
I was rather enthusiastic in my CCA,
and then, used to go out a lot with my friends.
It was all about merrymaking and enjoying;
while waiting for a brand new year to kick off.

But apparently I don't understand how things went wrong in 2010,
and left me in this pathetic and desperate state.

A lot of my goals and values changed, I would say.
I wouldn't bother much about my CCA anymore,
and then, my personality change drastically.
I agree that changing is for the better,
but then, I still preferred the good ol' days,
when I'm still young at heart and reckless.

Life wasn't like this at this point of time last year.
How versatile is life, I say.
In one year's time, a lot of things change.
The old feelings, the old bonds, the old fondness... ain't there anymore.

I'm not a person who gets rooted in the past;
neither am I one who have a clear vision for the future.
All I enjoy is living in the present.
As the Kung Fu Panda quote goes,
'Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.'
So, I presumed that living in and for today is somewhat fortunate;
for I never know what might happen tomorrow.

But there's a few regretful choices or actions I have in the past;
and ironically, I brought them forward with me to today.
But if the good Heaven is kind and generous enough;
I would like to atone my actions for this bad karma,
and perhaps, make 'reparations' to a few people.

Life is always like this.
We make a mistake, then things screw big time,
and we get stuck in it, never to atone.

But what matters is that, do not commit the same shit again.

There's a lot of people who walked past my life,
and left a lot of memorable footsteps.
Though these footsteps were deep and hard;
but those people never stopped.
At times I did chased some people away from my life,
and erased their footsteps;
but there are some, I wanted them to stay,
but they never did.

I wonder who is coming next.

But I hope, you will take a detour.