These Days

It's been two days into the official holidays;
and still, I'm doing nothing productive,
other than reading a book about Sherlock Holmes.
The rest of the time is wasted away on TV, chips and sleep;
well, I think I ought to put my head down after a series of events.

Days are hard to go by these days.
Not in the financial manner;
what I mean is that life is kind of tiring and pissed these days.
Take for instance things that are happening around me,
and they'll surely affect the mood and morale you have for doing certain stuff.
Life is never easy or safe all the time.

I would say everything that I doing these days,
are all a gamble, all a risk.
I do not have much to consider before doing something;
and neither do I care a lot for the consequences of my actions.
A lot of things goes by in life to teach me the best solution to complicated problems:
Just view them easily, and they will be easy for you.

My 'O' levels, my exams previously...
Never did I gave much consideration for their consequences;
neither did I really went to prepare myself to deal with them.
I must admit that I'm energy drained;
I couldn't find anymore willpower to make myself focus on some stuff these days.
Hence, I took the last 'resort' to everything I'm doing-
either I make it passed the half way mark,
or I'll fail and die badly.

I just couldn't find that past confidence, that past willpower,
to propel and motivate myself to go forward in life.
After you get sick of everything that's happening around you,
what else is left?

I'm taking the 'take it easy' manner to myself,
is not just because that I'm getting sick and tired of certain things;
but I'm also sick and tired of failing all the times.
Maybe a few success and glory did come into life frequently,
but I'm tired of working with hard effort,
but only to realise that it was all wasted labour.

Maybe one day I should get away from all these,
find a good and nice place for vacation,
and bring along a good book and a bottle of good wine,
and then spent some time to relax myself,
before returning full of enthusiasm and energy.

What I want now, is just some good wine to indulge in,
and then a good companion to chat with;
chatting about all the things under the skies.