"Its one of human's flaws, that caused him to fall, which is, ambition."

today was another pretty normal day.
well, except for a few occasions.
and had a great timne being disiao and disiao-ing ppl.
well, that's today.

well, was humiliated by the hcl tcher today.
cuz she doesnt like my ideas.
no, my ideology.
she just says,
"tuition isnt right because it proves that ppl are not listening to lessons and going for extra stress."
me and eugene rejected that, as we went to tuition for our own gd.
and i said,
"more ppl going to tuition, means that more ppl are kiasu, as the competition is getting stronger due to globalisation."
and she threw me out. wtf.

and during lit,
which was pleasant today,
mdm ng started on macbeth.
"this story is to teach u something abt human flaws. it is macbeth's amibition of becoming the king that kill him."
well, i did not agree with that.
with and ambition, even without an inherited will, men can go as far as he can.
but without an ambition, human live lifes for tragedies and emotions.
pls, i live my life for my ambition, my aspirations, and the will im going to inherit!

well, tmr is saf/ncc day.
wishing all soldiers and cadets a happy saf/ncc day.

whatever may occurs, they can't ruin the fire burning over my ambition and my ideology. even if they are to put me to death, but i never regret, because it is ambitions and ideology that makes up me.

sunday.

one more day, before these carefree days end.

so, for the past two days,
have been trying to complete my wk,
as well as reading on military classics, such as 六韬兵书.
and also a bit of slacking.

life's gonna return to normal tmr,
schooling, being despise, fighting individually, so and so.
well, life's gonna be plain soon.
and im just sick of the class anyway.
and also boring lessons.

camp steel's postpone.
quite a sad thing.
the only thing i look forward in sch is my cca, seriously.
cuz i find no fun and joy in other stuff.
look, my class's a mess, okay?

and gonna read more military classics,
as well as take a short break, and prepare for tmr.
i wonder wads in for me tmr.
just hope the class can sometimes stop their fxxxing sacarsm.
seriously, i dunno when they would grow up and noe not to say such stuff.

a chapter end,
a new beginning.
wait, this is not a beginning,
this is a sequel.

i wonder wads in for me.

friday.

wow, holidays just gonna end soon.
well, at least i spent some darn good time playing hard.
and now, im gonna conclude my holiday, early.
saving the next two days for preparation.

June Holiday Achievement List:

1)NCC events
-Training session(s) attended: 2
-CIP programme: 4 hrs
-Course attended: Basic Survival Programme
-Titles earned: Survivor
-Highlights: LAN outing, celebration of S4 birthday.

2)Work and Assignments
-Percent completed: 86%
-Lit project: going to get screw

3)Class events
-Outing(s) attended: 0
-Time spent with classmates(>2): a few hrs
-Improvement: -20%

4)Leisure
-Hrs spent at LAN: so much till i cant count
-Improvement: Marksmanship
-Movies watched: 2

and so,
holidays are so much much of boredom,
and yet, some stuff manage to add some colours.
it seems like that i spent my holidays unwisely,
but at least, i learn something.

wednesday.

okay, a pretty fun day,
and it was something like a celebration for leo.
we tried to watch transformers,
but there were no seats left.
so, we watch drag me to hell instead.

well, i was typically,
laughing all the way through the movie.
and i even crack remarks so loud that everyone in the cinema laughed after hearing.
at least that spoiled the eerie feeling then,
everyone was happy, and forgot abt the scared feeling.
to me, horror movies are nothing more than a comedy;
ghost and devils are not scary,
they show you their true forms;
its deceiving humans that are scary.

and after a "comedy" with so much laughter,
we went to play left 4 dead at venus, again.
howdy, i screwed the zombies and they screwed me. lol.

gonna spent the rest of the days recuperating,
as well as tidying up my work and packing up.
nidda start a new chpt of life, semester two.
perhaps nid work harder in NCC, or my USM chance is gone(which will soon go?),
and study a bit more..yea.
gonna recruit more ppl into firetank, maybe part a,
and perhaps spent more time with my platoon mates.

holidays comes and go.
but life's been good this mth;
i manage to experience things i've nvr done.

i'm awesome, because i manage to make one whole cinema laugh. maybe they're laughing at the sudden funny remark, maybe laughing at my foolishness, maybe laughing at the remark, thinking it is unwanted; but i manage to ease the tension in the cinema, so i noe i am AWESOME.

tuesday.

another perfect morning for a fragrant cup of coffee.
but there's NCC trng today, which i look forward to.

okay, so life started with some arm drills stuff,
then a bit of stuff, which was followed by PT.
martin took PT today, which was quite okay.
had the rifle with me all along, lol.
quite interesting, rifle PT.

after a short break was some IFC stuff.
was tested on field signals and some others.
the rest was typical plain stuff.
and the S4 batch got the ops rm clean up!
and have some logistics rules(made long ago) announced.

and after lunch with mates and seniors,
which i also saw mr eswaran during lunchtime,
was a time for CS and left 4 dead at venus!
ken was a gd backstabber for a firstimer,
but definitely he need to pick up more.
and well,
we scream and shout all along,
cheering about the winning,
sort of stuff.
yeah, have junli, martin, hongchun, brandon on my side.
but we pretty much screwed up a bit for CS..lolz.

okay, tmr is leo's bday,
so gonna celebrate by watching transformers.
and perhaps more on left 4 dead..hmm?

~~~

well, today the S1 gave the attached ICs to the main tele ICs.
the competition goes into a deeper stage.
and ck ng took eric and jon,
ken had changjun and minghan(wtf?),
of course,
i choose my first mate,
and my smartest strategist-technician, kah chee.

perhaps a decisive battle gonna begin soon.
threesome..threesome..
like three kingdoms arhs?
but dun worry,
im gonna emerge the sima yan of the three!
not liu bei, not cao pi, but sun quan! but sima yan!

mates, strife together with me,
when we win, we shall
share the good times, share the world.

monday.

the very last week of the holiday begins,
drawing us closer to work soon.
i have to have up my gears,
load my rifles,
and start fighting.

somehow,
spent a damn long time ytd,
playing GTA Liberty City Stories on my psp.
well,
just took the thrill out of massacre.
maybe i just like to do wad the character has always done in the game,
be a daredevil, literally FTW.

okay,
so i also spent a long time thinking of leadership,
as well as the prob of why cadets wanna pon NCC.
and i came out with some answers.

perhaps the difference of a leader and a follower,
is simply just whether who's boss or not.
but, to me, a leader is nothing but one who can make desicions others cant.
maybe a leader is just like a piece of magnet.
attracting or repelling, that's the force that makes him a leader.
rmb,
"a leader can be born, but not bred."
the reason is some have high EQ, some doesnt.
and whether fates wants them to be one.

and was at a BBQ ytd.
heard stories of OBS and Brunei Jungle Training from my bro.
"in surviving, you have no one to rely on, but ur mates."
hell, i just wanna go for more courses.
and after listening to my bro on more NCC stories,
i found the reason why many ZHSS cadet pon NCC.
"they dont feel at home, they found no joy and warmth, and wad keeps the rest in is the reason of ranks, posts, punishments, and maybe somewhere there's a cadet who plans to restore the unit's reputation in HQ NCC."

i bet its more to the rank side,
that has keep chong kai, ken, and some orient ppl in.
i bet its more to the punishment side,
that ervin has to turn up.
and yet, i bet its more to some kind of enlightening,
brandon was able to be more enthu than chong kai.
brandon, aw, wad a waste of talents.

perhaps, be a bit offending,
some units cant rise and is always of a standard,
is because they cant keep talents.

and yet, some unit keep rising,
because, their cadets always know,
when they lose everything on this world,
they still have the company to go to.
and they can express the warmth of home, in their unit.

erm, can ZHNCC CO unit,
abolish the rule of 4 LCPs and CPLs and OOC during annual camp,
introduce an all promotion to cadets,
and the eleven award system?

saturday.

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity, and optimist sees the oppotunity in every difficulty."

"Excellence is doing ordinary things extraordinary well."

saw these words on a piece of paper.
the handwriting seems to be of my sis in law.
well, i agree to the utmost with her words,
and believe that this is the reason that separates a optimist and a pessimist.

okay, ytd had the CIP thingy.
tot it was going to be a damn boring thing,
collecting donations for 4 hrs.
but it turn out to be so fun!
went around laming with kah chee and ervin,
and...it just feels great went ur surrounded by fair ladies.
three at a time! isnt that great?
bran was enjoying the utmost out of it,
laming with ppl and gals. lol.

perhpas them most funny part for me,
was when i tried to disiao a lil gal.
yeah, it just seems weird for ppl wearing no 4 to collect donations,
so the gal, around 11-12, keep looking at me.
and i gave back a polite smile and said, "hiee".
she just giggled for awhile.
and, and, stalk me.
and went i turn bk she tried to hide.
and the most wtf, she stalked me for another time.

children are fun rite,
esp lil gals around the age of 12.
aw, i just like their innocent smiles, that's all.

okay,
so was having much confidential talk in mac,
which we're caught jiak chua by the boss.
tried to plan something to keep the firetank surviving,
but kah chee's words seems a bit weird...and secretive..
there's more behind the eye...

nah, its alright!
to the day i've been backstab for the 100th time,
i still fighting alone with a katana and a naginata!
even if nakama are to betray me,
i would warn,
You cant stab and Asura who has eyes looking at all sides.

hope,
things will turn well in the upcoming months.

friday.

listening to Bink's Sake,
9 nin Mugiwara Kaizouku-dan.

another day that is dedicated to NCC.
wow, spent first three days in course,
and ytd trng, today cip.
well, just wanna enthu all the way,
to prove that im the best man for the best job,
as well as the most enthu,
for the post of Unit Serjeant Major next yr.

perhaps just wanna form a union with some ppl,
which we might be stronger.
form the "firetank" crew ytd,
with bran as my first mate.

ytd, was talking on NCC stuff with ken as we walked to his hse.
talked abt proposals that could make the company better.
he has been seen as the named successor to the pacestick,
but he told me he just doesnt wants it.
dude, your eyes betrayed you.

well,
i have been thinking...
best man for the best job...
if we're going to follow such rules,
then ck ng would end uo as Part A PS,
chin as Part B PS,
joel as Part C PS,
eric as S1,
changjun as S4,
ck seah as S3.
then,
things just seems like fate,
and all round im for the throne.
i bet dear mates wouldnt want this.

PS: gathering nakama.
of all ages in ZHNCC,
of all abilities.
contact the captain and first mate personally.

thursday.

hell, wad a turbulence day.
listening to Hikari E.

ok, today was erm...kinda sad.
NCC trng in the morning, went around telliung part a on BSC.
and encourage them to go!
lolz BSC was fun.

and things went on normally,
and stuff went on as usual.
till me, chong kai and ken were given a mission.
and it gonna causes something big.

8 heads were appointed today.
quite sad that yi seng didnt become our OIC.
seriously, he's a good guy.
and we even went around joking with his last IFC lessons,
his last drillings, his last interaction.
somehow things area bit weird without yi seng.
seriously, i respect yi seng a lot.

and leo was S4! congratz!
and so kenneth koh was USM, soif ASM...
and yet, chong kai was cheering all the way.
sadness was on bran's and joe's.

somehow,
this change means a significant foundation to our future.
strictly speaking, my future is gone by half,
without JC to favour me, without winston to guide me.
and things went gd for some ppl.
some gained favour, some fell.

another time of turbulence.
another power struggling starting.
another proud man standing.
another man falling.
i think that's me.

well,
and the tele IC stuff went a bit bad,
now chong kai, ken and chin might have a bright future.
and, my heart suddenly went out for some ppl.
they wanted wad they want,
and yet their aspirations crashed at an instant.
best man for the best job...
i dun think so, without enthusiaism.

nah, daijoubu minna!
perhaps with the change,
you guys might feel sad,
you lost favour, ppl just rises...etc.
as long as we're around, we can fight rite?
we're nakama!

and to the ppl who might rise instantly,
dun be proud,
perhaps you might feel the pain of falling down.
but i doubt you can feel the feeling of falling and rising again.

mates, fight on! you might feel unfair, you might think things are favoured, but, we still have each other!

SURVIVAL!

listening to Faith,
by Ruppina.

alright, the course is over, with much experience, fun, joy, memories.
it was really so memorable,
and i could not forget any bits of the course.

when the sun began to rise,
i was already waiting at the ferry terminal.
and after everyone gathered,
we went off for the trip.

to put it in summary,
the course was indeed enriching,
as well as fun.
we made new frens, new buddies,
learn many skills;
how to skin a frog, how to use a parang, how to make a bed.
the warrants, specs, and officers from HQ were real nice ppl,
as well as the instructors, esp sir osman.
3 days and 2 nights,
five ppl in a same tent.
we did everything as one,
and we really get to know each other well.

i could go on for a vry long reflection,
but,
perhaps let me keep this unforgetable memory to myself,
and everyone else who participated.

let this nice memory,
be one that is precious,
it started in ubin,
and ended in ubin.

Are you ready? Ready to live in the jungle, ready to face the dangers? Ready to live a different lifestyle? -Sir Osman.

sunday.

listening to Glory- Kimi Ga Iru Kara,
by Takako Uehara.

okay,
so today is my last day of enjoyment,
before i put my foot into ubin.
perhaps just wanna slack a bit.
and maybe talk abt something.

ytd afternoon,
had been doing research on world's top ten criminals and bounties.
highest was osama the humjikia, 52 million bounty head.
wtf, he's lower than bellamy.

okay,
so, kill the time by blog hopping, facebooking, gaming,
read ppl's blog...
some talk on how thier relationships are,
some on how good life is,
some on their happy holidays.
nah, life would really be happy for me tmr onwards.

well,
sometimes i think im too rational. and realistic.
to a point that ppl detest me.
still the same thing,
im after wealth, fame, power.
perhaps this time im gonna fight harder.

surviving in pulau ubin 15-17 june,
dun call me, dun try to sms me, dun come find me at my hse.

saturday.

listening to Brand New World,
by D-51.

okay,
long boring saturday again,
and yet things are going a bit sian now.
gonna pay a visit to the army market,
and has to start packing.
really getting damn excited of the course,
and perhaps i nid a first aid kit, a sharp knife.

and then,
just wanna slack on the last wk,
and maybe go out for lan.
seriously,
holidays are a long boring stuff,
except for the trips part.

as i use to read bks, articles,
i tend to understand more and get more matured as day goes.
and yet,
because of this reason,
egoism for winning is stronger.
the stronger the enemy,
the tougher i fight.

i simply love competition.

friday II

okay, so just cm bk hm.
listening to Share the World,
by TVXQ.

orient arh..
as expected nvr got choosen.
dun care abt it.
yeah, just went thr to play onli?

and then.
after lunch with a few frens,
went to play soccer.
and then,
went to some ulu ulu lan.
CS with 2t1 peeps.
howdy, they're strong.
but me too.
i tend to quite take the ownage at de dust.
you see,
im trained with the assualt rifle.
and a few ppl joined.
it was a tournament. lol.

life's....
somehow, fast today.
times flies arh?
nvr really enjoyed holidays.

friday.

well,
today's friday,
orient selection.

dun really carea lot abt orient,
cuz im not into those fit lyk mad can run lyk siao.
im more into special course in the jungle or desert.
and btw,
daryl went off to malaysia.
bon voyage.
dunno how much ppl we lost for today.

gonna visit the army shop tmr,
and start packing up.
tell you sth,
i wun miss the urban town,
i wun miss anybody, anything.
cuz jungle survival is wad i wanted to do all these yrs.
and i even thought of studying tierra de fuego or guatemala.
well,
and i expect some fun bonding time with those cadets thr.
ytd can see that the central cadets were a fun bunch of ppl.

well,
i can predict that things are going perhaps a bit of busy soon.
gonna chiong the lit proj, then there's a bit of hw, and trng.
seriously,
this holiday doesnt seems lyk a holiday, expect the survival course part.

Continue to walk the path I've always been walking, INDIVIDUALLY. The path is called, "The Road to Success".

thursday.

listening to Free Will,
by Ruppina.

okay,
gotta go to HQ NCC today.
as the days draws nearer,
im getting more and more excited!

well, as the holidays are coming to the mid,
i felt that i've been slacking a lot.
well, maybe the survival course will toughen me up.
and i get to skip one session of trng. lol?
and clarence or xavier who pass by help me tell tcher i cant go tuition.

well,
things are getting a bit slower nowadays.
but somehow,
i believe after this breaktime,
will be a decisive showdown straight away.
of course, i wanna emerge winner.

wednesday.

人生犹如一个大大的戏剧舞台，
人人都说自己是好人，
人人都喊冤，
人人都受受到委屈。

今日的社会，
以被不道德的思想污染，
人人只求为己，
不顾他人死活。
我们已越陷越深，
深至我们已无法找回原来的自己。

在这种没有好人，
为己不为他人的社会中，
童真以被污染得十分黑暗。
越纯真的东西，
越复杂。

现在，
只有潇洒，
一笑而过，
才是人生中，
最高尚、
最纯真的表情。

与其天天怨天怨地，
每日充当好人，
整天喊委屈，
不如对一些小人与小事，
一笑而过，
潇洒看过。

不与人争，
保持中庸之道，
似乎是达到和平的东西；
其实，
只要某些时候，
你能包容一点，
迁就一点，
忍一时、让一步，
天下就会更完美。
正所谓，
宰相肚子能撑船吗!

tuesday.

listening to We Are!
by 7 nin Mugiwara Kaizoku.

ok,
so ytd went to catch a movie before tuition.
terminator salvation.
hell it was a nice one,
and it has something to tell:
"everyone deserves a second chance."
frankly speaking,
that is very true.
without chances,
i could not rise so high up in the hierarchy.

and today,
gonna spent a day doing lit proj.
and my jungle trng is confirm.
ooh, i can skip tuition, trng, and class outing!
away from urban stress and slping with snakes.
bashas and field cooking,
hell im getting excited!

mah, maybe some war gonna start at my tagboard again.
but i warn you, SPF will settle this.

perhaps,
everyone should deserve a second chance.

monday.

listening to Bink's Sake,
9 nin Mugiwara Kaizoku.

okay,
just went for breakfast and came bk.
watch One Piece Ep 404,
than sat infront of the com to slack.

well,
every morning i walk pass this construction area,
where the govt is destroying a staircase to build another one,
or a slope.

wad makes me upset is,
every yr,
the govt destroys staricase,
and rebuild them,
over 5 times at least.
this happens frequently in my area,
and every morning my mother just complain abt the inconvenience cause.

wad i think begs differ.
i can tell you,
this is one way taxpayers money are wasted.
there are also many other ways,
-building ERPs to collect more money,
-investing in China to get more rewards, which reward i waited for yrs,
-building senior citizens corner, for malay kinna to vandalise, then destroys it,
-building some "garden" for citizens, then destroys it due to andes mosquitoes,
-building an unwanted flyover in the middle of the expressway, i just saw one in Chinatown, near OG,
-build unwanted stuffs at the void decks, such as BBQ pits for malay kinna to terrorise, and dear sweepers had a hard time cleaning up.

maybe you said,
"i paid my tax for a better future"
"i pay taxes for better facilities in my area"
"i pay tax to keep my country going"
OR
"i pay tax or else the tax office will sue me"

i will pay taxes gladoly next time,
only if they're put into good use.
we have too much poor folks around,
so,
lets dun waste money anymore.

friday.

hell, i simply just love today.

ok, first thing in the morning is go to sch.
foto shooting with soif and junli,
and i tot we're gonna be stiffened on the parade sq.
then the camera man ask us pose here pose thr,
wow, dunno wan use the foto for wad.

then went bk hm,
for a bit of com,
and went for trng.
the damn sjab pangseh us today,
so we turn out to be drilling lyk mad.
now i noe why they got silver most of the times.

and gotta oppotunity to go for jungle trng(in s'pore larh),
with a few other mates.
life's gonna be fun with brandon thr.
hopefully, the HQ can accept the nominal roll,
so we can have a great adventure in the jungle!
i look forward to that man!

and suddenly holiday life becomes so lifely,
maybe cuz that new events are popping out.
anw, look forward to those new oppotunities,
and hopes all things turns out well.

thursday.

and hell, today was such a boring day.

i spent the time away analysing historical records at home,
as well as stocking myself with new war strategems.
and basically, today is a slack day.

nidda go to sch early tmr for some foto stuff,
and nidda go bk in the afternoon for NCC day.
oh, SAF-NCC day falls on 1 july.
dunno how to do it,
as we're having camp steel on that day.

a portion of seniors returned from the spec course,
and got their specialist ranks.
this simply means a ne chpt to the company,
perhaps some reforms,
some rising and falling,
and at the worst case,
division and reunification.

to put it in a bland way,
new leaders means new followers.
一朝天子一朝臣，
with the rise of the new leaders,
new followers will also rise to potential post succesors.
maybe its gonna be a "gentlemen's power struggle" somehow,
which most of us dun wanna see.

perhaps some might lay the foundation of their future,
perhaps some might fall.
nevertheless,
no matter how things turns out,
"i'm gonna be the one that lead this band of warriors nxt yr!"

wednesday.

and three days went by, yet it seems to have no progress.

ok, spent half a day ytd,
doing the lit porj at ken's hse.
well, we're typically playing instead of doing wk,
except for a few hrs we spent to do props and buy stuff.
then was dota, audi, cabal.....
and badminton. yeah. thrash ppl and tio thrash by ppl.

so, gonna spend today slacking away,
read some bks, do some wk.
life sometimes seems to be so bland,
and it seems to be so dull.
perhaps is bcuz of the reason of my life,
i live for dreams.
and aspirations?

perhaps i would like to experience one life,
one life that you share with others,
not fighting alone.
but, yet im used to fighting alone.
i used to like songs that sings about romance last time.
but now,
brand new world and share the world keeps replaying in my mind.

im too into wealth, fame power.
so addicted,
that from a slave of these three things,
i became a master of wealth fame power,
whereas they became my slaves.

maybe my life is too dull and bland to speak off,
maybe you guys think that i am too materialistic.
maybe romance is the thing i should be after,
not power and authority.
but somehow,
i feel that im born to control this world,
life wad had churchill and roosevelt done.

oh yeah,
i thought of picking up wing chun and jeet-kun-do.
which's is better to learn and use?

tuesday.

there's two kinds of satisfaction in this world.

the first kind of satisfaction,
is when you enjoy normal and ordinary life,
so much, so much,
you're happy with wad you have.
you think relationship and love is the highest level of life,
and because of your mate,
you can go emo for days.
you think that power and money are just materials,
nothing much illusion.

the second kind of satisfaction,
is achieved when you hit your target.
life is never enough,
it seems that human's greed is your motivation.
you just want more power, wealth and fame,
and want things to be change your way.
this kind of satisfaction,
is only ahcieved at deathbed,
when you had no will to go on any further.

i want to be the second kind,
run further than anyone.
i am greedy,
only for fame;
i am hungry,
only for power.
life is nothing but a game,
we should face it as it is;
but yet,
i want to be that very player,
that set the highscore that no one can beat,
and leave behind tales and legends,
for my descendants to sing of.

perhaps you might say im too materialistic,
perhaps you might brand me cold.
but only for myself i know,
im a pure mortal,
chasing after mortal's dreams.

my dream is not to meet my true love,
my dream is not of blissfulness.
my dreams are high and tall,
my dreams, are my compasses of life.

perhaps one day i might fall,
like countless time it happen before;
but no worries, no panic,
i shall stand again.

it is not a dream of fairytale,
not a dream of lies;
a dream that grows into aspiration,
so strong, so strong, reality happens.

you can say im dreaming,
you can say im impractical;
but for all things and beings on this world,
Dreams and aspirations, they are my only motivation.

let me meet my satisfaction of this life,
let me be satisfied.
for that i shall conclude it in deathbed years later,
whether had i been satisfied.

monday.

sitting on a stool,
listening to mirai koukai by tackey and tsubasa.

okay,
just return from jogging.
anw, the first wk's maybe the most enjoyable,
after that, we're gonna have porjects and trainings packed up.
anw,
maybe just gonna do crutches and jog more often,
hope that i can train up my stamina.

well,
as i jog pass MPS,
sw those kids cming bk for remedials.
okay, remind me of myself two yrs ago.
and now they have a PUB wtf...
well, mr eric lim just saves more money in the past.

hopefully,
one day,
i would complete one of my targets,
"returning to MPS after spec course: with a marksmanship badge, an ADC lanyard, and a 2SG rank. and i'll persuade those kiddos to join me, and impress those tchers wad have the chinatown gangster become of."