saturday.

days are drawing closer and closer,
and wad im doing, is looking at the situation,
helplessly sitting down thr.

a new skin! and also a new tagboard!
thanks to joanne who help me look for the skin,
and intro me to this tagboard.
but the counterr is a failure,
after so many changes, i have to admit to the fact that ppl visit my blog often.

since its a saturday, let me tell a story.

when i was around 3-6 yrs old, i've always wanted to join the police force;
protecting the citizens from all crimes, upholding justice and law.
i've wanted to protect my home and everything from all sorts of crimes,
and making the cit a safer place to live in.

when i turn 11-13, i've wanted to be a soldier.
i've wanted to protect my homeland, protect our freedom.
to let our flag fly high and free in the vast seas,
to make our freedom eternal.
to protect my citizens from all invaders,
living in peace, and enjoying the moment of it.

but when i turn 14, i've realise that what i wanted to be,
is to become a writer, and an actor.
i want to write, write to spread the ideas,
the ideas of world peace, the ideas of humanity, he ideas of unity;
acting to preserve our culture, passed down for many generations,
to depicts all scene of life, to war the world of all evil doings.
to write and to act, to preserve our culture,
to preserve our ideas, to preserve humanity and peace.

to spread the ideas of justice so more crimes will cease,
to spread the idea of world peace so there's more harmony;
to preserve the culture that is losing in the urban life,
to preserve the words of the past, that taughyt many morals.

perhaps im kind of fickle minded, having y aspirations changed too much.
or yet i have no patience or will, to carry out these dreams.

but what i know is,
for every dream i have, i wanted to protect something;
and every dream i change, the value and amount of what im protecting,
grows bigger.

friday.

hectic schedules coming up,
and my life aint getting any better.

i went out with a senior and junior ytd to catch 2012.
it was a show abt the end of the world,
but it focus more abt the human spiritn and unity.
there are scenes lyk how a selfish rich man sacrifice himself for his son,
and then how a lady actually save her dog and died in place.
nah, go watch it, i dun wanna be spoiler by saying any further.

and of course, going out with two ppl of diff age,
you'll get some info that u nvr get.
my junior told me that i was backstabbed hardly by my first mate.
and my senior told me that he got into trouble too.
terribly angered, i think this time i wanna plan for revenge.

and i feel so upset.
that BRANDON CHOO actually dragged the juniors into part B's power struggle.
look, we are fighting for something worthless,
and then u are polluting my juniors' mind, teaching them the wrong thing,
leading them into our paths next time?
ur selfishness brought along the casualities of many.

and this bastard got me into much trouble with so many ppl,
just by saying things and rumors that nvr happen.
i noe that its human nature to talk abt tabliods,
but to blow up something that's not real,
you guys have been too much.

anw, time is getting lesser and lesser,
i just realise i've not done any of my hmwk.
just wanna leave them to december,
so that i rush all my activities in november.

life is getting more and more boring for me,
and things in life aint getting better.
perhaps this is another obstacle for me,
lyk those i met in sec 1.
i rmb that i could pass them,
and im sure that i could pass this too.

When deaths smiles at you, all you could do is to smile back. Remember, I'm Fushicho Yitian, phoenix that rises from death.

thursday.

okay, so these few days i keep changing blogskins,
and finally found one that i really like.
one fren on fb tell me that my blog's kinda plain,
so from today onwards,
im improving the quality of post and use a blogskin that readers will focus and attract to my post.
the current skin's background kinda plain,
but i hope that it'll be my words that attract readers,
not my skin.
and i realise that my old blogskin really suits me better,
so i change back to the old one.

somehow, i find that ppl and blogs have so much in common.
blogs, always used an attractive blogskin to attract readers and visitors.
and only through the skins, readers are then willing to have a go at reading the post.
only then, they will find out that whether the blog is a worthy one or not,
whether they should spend time reading the blog.

same lyk blogs, human beings always used an attractive outer shell to make frens and noe ppl.
however, when ppl finally see through these shell,
they get to noe abt how the person is actually like.
and those ppl who didnt have an attractive outer shell,
continue to be ignore by everyone, hiding their talents or faults.

if it always take ppl to look at the outer shell before the inner feelings,
then, we are too shallow.
however, this is human nature, something that we are born with.
so all we can do is,
to give ppl a good first impression,
so that they will take less effort and time to realise our talents,
and instead of finding faults with us.

wednesday.

When the world's besiege you, and you are left all there alone to fend for yourself, thats when you started to fight on and gained new achievements.

had been putting my hands on mahjong these few days.
cuz i really got nth to do at home, but to slack.
and things aint seem to get any better for me.

ltr might be going out for cycling with pri sch frens.
and today i start to think wide.
started to think abt my class.

not that kind of memories of bonding, all sort of stuff.
im thinking of- wad makes me able to subdue the whole class,
and get along well with them.

i rmb for one yr,
all of them had been hard on me.
and that time things in NCC aint getting better,
so it seems lyk sch's too harsh and im having prison sentence.
my CE tcher for the first term, ms lisa wah,
told me sth,
'i hope that u can tell me that ur alrite with ur class at the end of this yr.'

and that came true.
many asked me,
did i change for the masses to accept me,
or the masses forced themselves to accept me.
all i could say is,
i had a little bit more restrain on my actions and words,
and did nth else. nth else.
to put it in this way,
they gradually accepted me,
not for a reason for class bonding or wad,
but for something we nvr thought of: time.

yes, time is men's best mirror.
time will gradually show who's nice and who's not.
time will gradually peel of the masks of all deception.
time, will come to prove justice.

now i knew why my platoon mates stabbed me in the back.
all because that they didnt got enough time to know me.
after all, wad they are seeing is my outer shell.
all the god dammned stereotype and confirm i got from them, are just stereotype.

however, till today,
they didnt cherish the time to noe me.
all they wanted is,
to view me as a hongster,
to view me as a chiongster.

time, plays a very important roles sometimes.
for now, i want to be the Part B PC next yr,
to teach the leaders under training one thing,
one sentence that my brother left me from his glorious retirement:
One for All, All for One.

tuesday.

well, first thing in the morning i wanna do,
is to apologise to part B abt wad happen ytd.
yeah, i might be a bit too intensive and strict,
and im here to explain that im not snatching it from ken and ck ng;
ken shared with me.
so, i hope that you guys will view brotherhood as the first place of NCC.
yeah, dudes, im sorry.

and now, let me depict all abt today.
its basically a slack day,
im not doing my homework,
and nothing else.

all i could say is,
for now, im sure that im stronger.
and more experience than before.
well, we learn from our mistakes right?

anw, saw my class attachment.
3e2, 29 ppl.
but got david and ecmt. and now, harhar, ziying u are dead.

so now, gonna get busy with the other stuff.
sayonara.

part II of monday.

well, i came back.
i dun really wanna talk much,
and all i could say is,
im washing my hands outta all these things.
you guys wan fight, fight urself.
if you think im a threat, im leaving now.

to think that power, could rule over brotherhood.
u guys worry abt my actions rite? good, im washing my hands out.

he told me that things will get better, and i should go on.
by that time, i'll be an attached spec and no further promotion.
the end.

enough of all these frustrating stuff.
now i nid is,
a call from someone to console me,
and perhaps a glass of wine.

my passion didnt just turned into nth,
they used it to bite me.

i just wan some...console.
sah, ppl do feel weak sometime.
ever knew why i got strong?
cuz all these kinda situations, im facing it alone.

who can give me a bit of console now?
who can call me, and tellme to walk on?
i doubt anyone.

7 or more against one: gg arh.

going to spent my time on something more frituful,
thats all.
sayonara.

monday.

2e3, i miss you guys~~

and today, is the day,
which conceals many storms and lightnings;
but yet, conceals the potentials of many ppl.

trng ltr at 1120.
everything of the pre-trng went nicely,
and i even got BC to elaborate my words in the plan.
so, BC's the vetter.
but ytd late at nite dog face called and kp me.
i quickly open a meeting with my first mate BC.

analysed the status of the company with BC,
which the process is so confidential that i cannot reveal.
all i could say is,
if you can understand that our 14 yrs gold unit foundation is on the brink of collapse,
then pls, pick a capable and competent successor.

i had enough of the power struggle.
i had enough of fights.
wealth, fame and power...
2e3 turned them into nth more than dust.
i once vowed that,
if im offered the best post, i would do my best to revive history of 1st in s'pore;
if im put under a incompetent guy and offered nth,
i might as well wash my hands out of everything.

ltr, might be a hard fight.
but then, its a good time to show them,
wad a coaliation i got-
something lyk luffy + crocodile + jinbei + buggy + ivanov.
and okay, in this situation, im luffy.