tomorrow. yeap.

hi, since someone ask me to update...
then i'll update larh. haha :D

now guess what.
it's my bloody specialists' course tomorrow.
the full name should be,
"National cadet Corps Central District Specialists' Course Phrase 2 2010".
and then, you go there for a three day non-residential camp,
and get screwed by the CLTS, then roll around in the field,
then get stoned by the theory paper,
and then you stripped the wrong mechanism outta the rifle.
but then. it's a good thing that we come back after the course,
as Specialists. Sergeants.
though we dunno how things would turn out,
we already planned for a buffet celebration on friday.
makan feast for the specs on friday.

and then, yeap, i'll miss a lot of shit at home.
com, phone(can't bring my camera phone there), bed.
facebook. blog. and my CS.

but maybe i'll get some inspiration there,
so maybe i'll come back with more little stories to write.

and i spent today doing a lot of bo liao stuff.
draw no. 1 uniform, watch the school's stupid movie at orchard lido.
not much studying for spec course. never rest.

maybe i should get some rest now.
people wish me all the best (:

my story.

so i spent pretty much of yesterday and today doing my first holiday hmwk.
writing a little novel or short story for HCL.

i got much of my inspiration from watching wartime movies,
such as Saving Private Ryan, The Boy In Stripped Pyjamas, and Band of Brothers.
well, at the start i know that writing a wartime story,
would definitely fail me for me for my assignment;
but who cares, it isn't the marks i get that is important,
it is the message i'm conveying and the enlightenment i'm giving.

i would reveal over here that the plot is pretty simple.
this British soldier saved a son of a Nazi officer during world war 2,
and then brought him back home, disguise as a SS soldier.
many years later when this soldier served as a spy in the cold war,
he was captured by East German troops and sentenced to death.
but he was pardoned by the prison's commandant,
who was the boy he saved before.

rather than writing pieces on some kind of things that many wouldn't understand,
i believe that the real way to improve the writing standards of Singaporean authors is to write stories that convey a clear cut message,
and suitable for international readers.
reading stuff which have message hidden and hard to retrieve by readers,
will actually fail the purpose of writing stories and publishing books.

i mean, to every story there is a moral or solution,
which is the most important message that the author is trying to convey to his readers.
if this message is hidden or unclear,
how can the author expect people to get his message?

and when i see how books are standardize to suit readers of different language levels,
i really feel that this is a bad trend that will barricade people from reading more books and understanding more things.
maybe we should just use simple words to bring out big, big meanings;
instead of using words that hardly anyone understands to teach little morals that our parents are trying to teach us.

and for now, i'm left with a publisher and an investor.
i have both the english and chinese version of the story.
interested parties in working with me can leve your contact and name at my tagboard.

cheers.

vesak spirit

growing up in an unfair environment never taught me to treat others unfairly,
yet it taught me my role to uphold fairness in everyone and everything.

growing up being prejudice never told me to look down on people inferior than me,
but it convey to me that there is something impressive about everyone.

growing up having to give in all the times never made me snatch for whatever i want,
it simply makes me giving things to the rightful owner.

growing up being ugly never taught me to dislike people with no looks,
it teaches me to see the beauty in everyone.

growing up being mocked at never influence me to laugh at others,
but it tells me that respect is to given to everyone.

growing up weaker than everyone never made me give up on life,
it teaches me to fight on with adversities.

growing up being rejected never made me to reject even further,
it teaches me to give a consideration towards everyone, everything.

growing up without friends never made me aloof from everyone,
yet it brought the friendly spirit in me for those that are alone.

growing up being left alone in distress never made me mocked at others' failure,
it just makes me to reach my helping hand whenever i can.

growing up having nobody sharing with you never taught me to be selfish,
but it teaches me the importance of sharing with everyone.

growing up without love never grow the seeds of hatred for the world;
it just tells me how much the world lack in love,
and i have to love everyone even more.

there is always a good side and bad side towards everyone and everything.
i think, so far i choose to see the good side.

Happy Vesak Day (:

last day of the term

no doubt, today was the last day of term two;
of course i went to school with anticipation.
in the morning, i thought that today will mark a start.
a start of all the adventures of the holidays.

i rushed up to the class, as i was getting late for the morning parade;
quickly put my bag down, grab my tie,
and rush off to the parade square.
but i never fail to notice cookies on everyone's table.
and this small little piece of note.
haha, this classmate of mine, named audrey,
went to the extent of baking cookies for everyone,
and then writing an appraisal for each and everyone of us.
wow, i must say, this is the first thing that someone in 3e2 had done to touched me.
i must say, many other classmates should be touched too!
isn't it something great to have such a nice classmate around?

and then later on,
i was supposed to carry this heavy load of newspaper back to class,
which i guess was around 18kg;
and then i was having some tough time bringing it back.
keong cheng came around and helped me with it,
and the both of us slowly carried the load back to the classroom.

then we had this little slack session in class,
and then people around me started talking about the ' meet the parents ' session,
which is going to happen later on.
so i started talking to my neighbours;
talking about our parents, the results, blah blah blah.
and then there was this lit fiesta,
which i consider very fail.
what a waste of everyone's time and effort.

so between intervals of the meet the parents session and photo taking,
i spent much time talking to some classmates;
classmates that i hardly ever talked to in the past months.
i must say, they're really nice, nice people;
and its a joy talking to them.
i must say they have this goodness in them...
which i failed to realised when i spent most of the time finding faults with certain classmates throughout the term.

entering and leaving the classroom at times,
but i never failed any chances to have a little talk with them.
though i ain't any close with them,
or very familiar with them;
but i can tell that they are real nice people.

and suddenly at the end of everything,
i hoped that today would really end slower.
i failed to take notice of the good people in the class;
and some of them who might have thought the same way about certain things with me.
all along, i have always criticizing on the class;
the way it is, the people, itself.
but then when i go on to understand this little group of nice people,
everything started to take another different perspective.

people in our class came from different backgrounds,
different classes, and most importantly,
different maturing environments.
we might be teens, 14 or 15 yrs old teens;
but it is that environment that we came out from that differentiates us.
the straightforward 2e3'09, hyper 2e6'09, some meek cliques, and even foreigners;
that is the very reason that drifts us all apart.
my ex-cliques, david and eugene,
might not be able to mix into 2e3'09 back then,
but surely they are able to mix well with those from 2e6'09.

all along this big mixture created friendships and bitter-sweet romance for some;
but definitely hell for me.
mr tham notice how a hyper teen couldn't blend in well this time round;
and yet some classmates deny the fact.
but still, i'm really glad;
glad for the existence of nice people that helps to make the day somehow.

my personality might not have attracted them to be close friends with me,
but definitely the goodness in them made them take a few steps forward towards me than many others in class.
many that i want to thank here;
keong cheng and ting wei who talked and joked with me everytime,
ziying and sher yun who rendered help to me when i am dying,
my good neighbours, audrey for tolerating my nonsense and being such a nice neighbour;
and also, julian for saying hi to me everyday when many never did so.
and also mr ang for his good advise,
mr tham for his care and advise on my 'survival' in class;
mrs maybrie ang on her 'special care' on me during lessons.

times, yes, they have been hard.
but i must say, even the darkest room have something that reflects light.

and then, all the hatred i had was gone for long;
just because all these nice people appeared at the last moments.

countdown

it's another day of post exam activities.
at first i thought that it would suck big time.
haha, but i'm wrong.

so we had this little leadership workshop.
and then we had a little talk by the coach, jay,
and then played some games at the parade square.
what was unforgettable was one of this instructor i met.
we're suppose to get down to the parade square and line up,
and then i yelled for my class to quicken their steps.
so this instructor asked me,
"wah, why so fierce at them arh?"
and then he went on to question about my cca.
and the next question was "wah then you what rank arh?"

"corporal."

"wah i thought you staff sergeant or what sia...shout so loud..."

and then after all the effort to split my class into groups,
and then settling down,
he came back to me and said,
"eh thanks for the effort arh. i will write in and ask them to promote you to sergeant."

my only expression was -_-lll

and then after all these,
we had a little break, followed by a sexuality talk.
and i had this little monitor forum after school,
and we shared so many fantastic ideas to improve the school.
i even sang praises of mr tham (thank me dude!) in front of the VP.
and then there were so much good suggestions about improving the school.
MK suggested of getting rid of the 'tuesday fried food' programme.

wow.

and later had NCC.
just try to joke here and there,
render help is there is any need.
nice training i had today.

and then tomorrow's the last day of school.
supposingly i would really looked forward to this day,
but thinking about missing and not seeing certain brothers and mates for days,
well, things just sucked a bit.
especially those good neighbours i had in class, haha.

and many adventure awaits me after the end of school term.

Brothers, we'll have at least three chevrons on our sleeve after this holiday.
Together we'll form the best Chevron United in the nation.

light in the dark

it's another boring day today,
but i gained a lot, a lot of enlightenment throughout the day.

i must say today isn't really as good as yesterday;
but then, sometimes i do really appreciate the arrangements of the activities by the school.
for much stoning i have in physics classes,
i must say today i had the best physics lesson ever.
because ms ng taught us stability with a toy.
i mean, if she can teach using props and toys to show us scenarios next time,
i believe we will have a better understanding of the topics.

and then we spend much of the time after recess watching this video,
and also sharing jokes about nazi germany with mr chew in the auditorium.
today's a bit bland and dull, but it passed by well.

i must say today i realised something that i often missed out in the past.
i learn about a very, very, simple philosophy about life.
"even at the darkest moments of life,
there will always be a little bit of light shining upon you."
like how light shone through the grills into the dark room in the picture above.

at the worst point of my life,
when i'm almost or sort of cut off from my class,
almost all activities, interaction, pretty much anything else.
when you get more and more depressed in class day by day;
because not only you lost your clique,
but then, you lost the sense of belonging to the class,
as well as bonds with many classmates.

but life is always fair.

through these tough times,
when my classmates just don't give a damn about me;
i found truthful people;
truthful in a way that they would be truthful to me,
and also stand by me, give me support through the tough times.

imagine what?
most of these people ain't any close people with me;
except for my platoon mates,
they're either acquaintances that i met in certain occasions,
or just long lost friends or cousins.

it's a bit ironic;
when the people that meets with you everyday makes you irks the sight of them,
and yet those that seem to be 'passer-bys' in your life,
actually gave you certain kind of support.

a little hi, a small hello by these acquaintances or long lost friends,
or even ex-classmates from 2e3'09;
sometimes, that just helps to make the day better.
some are real friendly to me;
others, after seeing my emo out everyday or heard of my 'times' in 3e2,
deliberately said hi to help me.
maybe they did it out of sheer friendliness,
or just feels like a hi could help me;
i really, really appreciate all that from them.

and also not to forget my platoon mates.
after the scoldings from a particular sir,
and when it seems like the superiors lost faith in me;
i juust lost interest in NCC,
despite being once an enthusiastic cadet of the corps.

but now, i'm engaged to it again.
not for the sake of what master sergeant rank or sergeant major post;
it's the sense of belonging my mates gave me,
that pulled me back into the service.
a little touching story:
i remember days ago when i'm eating all alone,
and then this particular mate came along,
and saw me eating alone.
he was pretty direct to asked me why i'm all alone,
and then grab some food, sat down next to me,
and brunch with me.

the bonds that survived through three years of shit together,
seems eve stronger than ever to me,
especially at times when they are the only bunch of brothers i can fall back on.

last but not least,
this cousin of mine.
after seeing all the 'hate status' i had on facebook,
she sent me a mail via facebook,
to console me and tell me to talk to her if there's a need.
though i never reply her,
but i do hope that she sees this.
thanks a lot, cousin.

shit might have happened.
but then, it was this shit that makes these people seem even more important to me.

oh and not to forget,
the few neighbours beside me in class.
wang zhe, and then the gals.
thanks a lot for talking to me,
answering to my random questions :D

bang.

though post-exam activities don't really sounds fun,
but then, many things happened that make today a nice day.

two hrs of chem lessons early in the morning ain't really that good;
but well, it was conducted by Mr Christopher Lim.
what a nice joker. so time passed by fast under his jokes,
and chem had never seem to be so interactive.
though Mrs Ang's lessons are also very fun,
but well, Mr Lim got the humour that many lacked.

and then, I sat down throughout the one hour of k-pop dancing.
i mean, look, i ain't close with the class,
and then no one's there to be beside me dancing;
somemore, i sucked at dancing.
so i had to sit aside and let them enjoy something as a class.
but the hour spent stoning isn't useless.
while all the others are tired out dancing,
i easily did some crack shots when we had our next activity,
air pistol.

hell, i was looking forward to that throughout the entire day.

it just feels good when once in a while,
you owned your class in something.
well i liked that feeling man.

and then i had an early release from lessons;
gotta go for NCC refreshers' course.
what is so important about the course isn't all the shit i'm getting there,
but i'm looking forward to another episode of fun.
fun between this C/LTA called weibin(ironically) and my unit.

so when he started to take us for trainfire(teach you how to use a gun),
me and brandon started joking around with him.
first was making funny noises when we posed for shooting in prone position.
and then he said, "are zhonghua cadets so irritating?"
and i replied, "no sir; we're just interactive."

"oh, interactive! i remember you lah!"

(that was when once i disiao this cadet officer backed at another NCC event)

so the whole thing turned out to be so fun,
with him coaching us when we're assembling the rifles.

and thanks to all this,
i had a great day.

looks like i have a special affinity with guns and ranges.

tomorrow's another post exam day;
well, i just hope that it turns out to be so fun;
like today.