light in the dark

it's another boring day today,
but i gained a lot, a lot of enlightenment throughout the day.

i must say today isn't really as good as yesterday;
but then, sometimes i do really appreciate the arrangements of the activities by the school.
for much stoning i have in physics classes,
i must say today i had the best physics lesson ever.
because ms ng taught us stability with a toy.
i mean, if she can teach using props and toys to show us scenarios next time,
i believe we will have a better understanding of the topics.

and then we spend much of the time after recess watching this video,
and also sharing jokes about nazi germany with mr chew in the auditorium.
today's a bit bland and dull, but it passed by well.

i must say today i realised something that i often missed out in the past.
i learn about a very, very, simple philosophy about life.
"even at the darkest moments of life,
there will always be a little bit of light shining upon you."
like how light shone through the grills into the dark room in the picture above.

at the worst point of my life,
when i'm almost or sort of cut off from my class,
almost all activities, interaction, pretty much anything else.
when you get more and more depressed in class day by day;
because not only you lost your clique,
but then, you lost the sense of belonging to the class,
as well as bonds with many classmates.

but life is always fair.

through these tough times,
when my classmates just don't give a damn about me;
i found truthful people;
truthful in a way that they would be truthful to me,
and also stand by me, give me support through the tough times.

imagine what?
most of these people ain't any close people with me;
except for my platoon mates,
they're either acquaintances that i met in certain occasions,
or just long lost friends or cousins.

it's a bit ironic;
when the people that meets with you everyday makes you irks the sight of them,
and yet those that seem to be 'passer-bys' in your life,
actually gave you certain kind of support.

a little hi, a small hello by these acquaintances or long lost friends,
or even ex-classmates from 2e3'09;
sometimes, that just helps to make the day better.
some are real friendly to me;
others, after seeing my emo out everyday or heard of my 'times' in 3e2,
deliberately said hi to help me.
maybe they did it out of sheer friendliness,
or just feels like a hi could help me;
i really, really appreciate all that from them.

and also not to forget my platoon mates.
after the scoldings from a particular sir,
and when it seems like the superiors lost faith in me;
i juust lost interest in NCC,
despite being once an enthusiastic cadet of the corps.

but now, i'm engaged to it again.
not for the sake of what master sergeant rank or sergeant major post;
it's the sense of belonging my mates gave me,
that pulled me back into the service.
a little touching story:
i remember days ago when i'm eating all alone,
and then this particular mate came along,
and saw me eating alone.
he was pretty direct to asked me why i'm all alone,
and then grab some food, sat down next to me,
and brunch with me.

the bonds that survived through three years of shit together,
seems eve stronger than ever to me,
especially at times when they are the only bunch of brothers i can fall back on.

last but not least,
this cousin of mine.
after seeing all the 'hate status' i had on facebook,
she sent me a mail via facebook,
to console me and tell me to talk to her if there's a need.
though i never reply her,
but i do hope that she sees this.
thanks a lot, cousin.

shit might have happened.
but then, it was this shit that makes these people seem even more important to me.

oh and not to forget,
the few neighbours beside me in class.
wang zhe, and then the gals.
thanks a lot for talking to me,
answering to my random questions :D