and i had the same bad day.

and i had a...okay, to me everyday is almost pretty much the same.
bad day, you called it.
so bad until it becomes so routine,
and you just get used to it.

okay, results are back.
well, they're just above the passing grade,
and then, manage to secure a few distinctions for the subs that i rocked in.
but the marks ain't what i will always be getting.
hmm, under-performance, i would say.
after spending days, no, months in a place,
a place where i could not find such a word to describe it...
well, the grades will just turn out as bad as the circumstances are.

again it's another typical, routine day in school.
i know it's kinda boring to mention the same old shit to you people again,
but, it's pretty much different today.
though the 'pang-seh' feeling given is being accommodated to,
but then, you just really feels bad when you lost another thing to your name.
position. the very last, very very last of my name to what i have in school.
after losing that, what i am left with is all the shit i get in school everyday.

i thought of seeking professional help.
but then, the schedule's so packed that i couldn't afford time for all these.
and then, if the matter just blows big like how things did last year...
i guess things will just get more and more worse.

when i was backed at the third floor,
i don't really appreciated all the response to my comments by my peers.
but now, a little smile or a little nod gives the adrenaline to carry on with the day.
sometimes, things will only seem to be significant when they are gone.
even these little actions- so little, yet they are still part of life.

living a pathetic lifestyle in misery ain't that good.
well, looking at the circumstances,
i doubt i could do much to salvage the situation.
those people who don't understand me...nah, stop talking about those fools.
and then, classmates who don't really give much a response about me.
hmm, after losing everything to my name,
i need to seek for something that will get life going.
i can't really go to school everyday,
everyone just heck care about me, then i stay in the class and sleep...
alright, perhaps i'll be the zhss version of remi gaillard.
going around, doing big, big pranks on people.

i would say the trainings of being one above all humanity is hard.
going through the same circumstances like what many leader had gone through in the past.
loneliness, independence.
i would say, the price to pay for understanding and executive above humanity is high.
very, very high.

sometimes i just wanna smile to those that walked past me.
but gosh, my smile's hideous.
so, sometimes i just mumbled a 'hi' or wave at them.
but then, they used to wave back.
now they don't.

life goes on, sadly, i say for the dunno how many times.
no matter how it sucks, i would have to go on.
training, no heroes are heroes without training.
and any of my schoolmates or classmates,
who feel offended reading this series of posts;
especially those that stop waving to me, misunderstand me..etc.
i would like to say a heartfelt thank you to you people,
for the rigorous but beneficial training.

be glad that i censored your names,
unlike in the past.