minutes to midnite.

well.
this post is delicated to someone.
so i try to use proper english as much as i can.

Minutes to Midnight.

The time now flashing on my desktop's screen is 1138. I still have another 22 minutes to midnight. As the time passed by minutes by minutes, I began to look back at the conversation about half an hour ago.

It was a conversation between me and her. Time passed by so fast, three yeasr has gone. She grew up to be young and beautiful, tall and slender. And me, from a dashing young lad to a toad.

Me both met in the school. The first time I saw her was the time when I was still in Art Club, and she was in Art Club too. But the both of us don't really interact a lot then, and we're just like strangers. At that moment, I was a young P4 kid.

One year passed by, and I was promoted to the best academic class for all subjects. I got into higher mother tongue, so does she. Anyway, she's a chinese german, so we expect her chinese to have a standard. At that time, the teacher was an old man on part time, and so those classmates were using the CL lessons for interaction. And the first interaction between me and her began on the first chinese lesson.

She sat at the seat in front of me, and around us was a girl named Hazel and a guy called Jonathan. Since the first day of CL lessons, I began to take notice of this little pretty thing sitting in front of me. But then, at that time, I don't have any means to flirt her or sort of. Feeling bored during chinese lessons, I always play pranks on her. Sort of. And she will so called "quarrel" with me everytime then, and stick her tongue out at me sometimes.

And so. Those good old days went by, and everyday we're talking to each other, treating the CL teacher as a transparent sheet. Soon, I was somehow getting more and more interested with her, and soon, I took a liking or a fancy to her. And that very feeling begins on one time when she, again stick her tongue out at me.

And soon, we're not so bad to each other anymore, we treateach other like real friends. And everytime I looked at her, I always thought that she has something to tell me. Maybe I was thinking too much. And those days during the P5 days were the most carefree of all. And soon, I find those Chinese lessons the best part of daily life then.

However, the sweetness of my first one sided romance did not last long. It was after a few moths that she told us she had to return to Germany, all because her dad was posted there for work. WTF!? And the last day I saw her in Singapore, was the day I wanted to tell her then, "I fancy you." She gave me an eraser, a pen and a higlighter before she go, as an souvineur. The eraser was gone, as my bro used it for drawing( you poor bloke CSM! ), the pen's out of ink, the the highlighter i kept intact. Well, the next day, her seat was empty.

Ever since she left, my lifestyle did not change much, just that I lost a companion that I can talk to on CL lessons. I began to have pimples, soon acne, then i grew a bit fat, and not long later, I went for the school's first immersion to Shanghai and got the best outstanding cadet award then.

And so, she left me an email address before she left, and her address in Germany. Wonder did that address change, but the email did not change.

And today, we're having another chat again, from Germany to Singapore, a time zone difference of 7 hours. Yes, she gew up to be beautiful and slender, but what about me?

She mention just now that she find me very handsome then. Well, it suppose to be a truth, but its history compared to now? When she said she wanted my photo, i did not show her, n case that she's being shocked by my disfigured looks. And my bad figure. Well, seriously, I use to have abs last time.

Another night spend talking to her, I rejected all SMSs and chats. Just to talk to her. One thing that happened between us after she left for Germany, is that we confessed to the opposites that we once fancy each other. But it was already too late; she's in Germany.

Three years went by, she had two ex-boyfriends, for me, those girls hate me to the core. But one thing to tell you readers, she's the only girl I have ever fancy, and even now, I still think of her sometimes. Maybe I can't forget her. I tired to forget her by doing lots of shit and crap, but that cost me a lot, even my promotion.

I must say, when she said she had two boyfriend then, it did hurt me a bit. But to her, I think it foesn't matter anymore. For I'm history to her, or sort of.

I await for the day that I can see her again. When I earned enough money, maybe I'll fly over to Germany to find her. And when I see her, I just want to tell her, "I miss you a lot. Where'd you been?"

As i can remeber how david always criticize women from China, sometimes I just want to tell him, "Not all girls from China are so bad." But to keep my "ah beng" image, which I seriously doesn't want it, I have to shut my trap sometimes.

And so, I wonder she'll read this post or not, or even notice it. Oh, it passed midnight, it's now Thursday. I just hope hours later I can talk to her again, for a very simple reason, "You're always on my heart."

And those shit crap with qiaohan has always been a shit crap. I think somehow I couldn't forget her for life.

Well, if she has seen this post, I hope that she'll know that I'm still here for her. And I'm sorry for the fact that you can't see my picture, because I'm having severe acne problems. And I'll promised you, if you did come down to Singapore on next year's July or August, you will see me as the handsome lad you have thought of always. By then, you might have another boyfriend, but I'll always be here, forever.

This post is written for you. Take care and stay pretty.

By Yitian,
For Emy.
Started 1138hrs on Wed, 3/12, Ended here at 0010hrs on Thurs, 4/12