Someday I'll be Saturday Night

Caught up with a hectic schedule and homework that piled up like a mountain,
I couldn't really find myself any leisure time.
The only time I get to sit in front of the computer, then do a bit of crapping,
is during the weekends, when I could really get away from urban stress temporarily.

These days hadn't been any better;
as usual, school sucks and shit happens all the time, which seem to be unavoidable.
Now that's life for you when you're near a decision-making-point;
somehow or rather this is the very year that will decide my fate for the next 20 years to come.
It's crucial; I should be putting my heart and soul into studying,
but it just seems like the whole chunk of information wouldn't get into my head.
And so, well, I could only take a step at a time.

Have been down with ill health these days;
this adds on to the struggle in this hectic and busy life.
It just seems like a continuous cycle-
wake up, study, sleep; wake up, study, sleep.
They say this process will go on for a year,
and will bring you great benefits;
I couldn't care less after all.

Yes shit happens all the time,
but definitely sometimes there's something that will make your day.
It's like, after a long day of shit and crap in school,
something happen that makes you feel that all the shit and crap is worthwhile.
Though this doesn't happen all the time,
but it serves as a form of motivation when I'm near the 'breaking point'.

And there...
next week is a week full of test and homework.
Not even a month and I'm already feeling tired of all these-
am I too weak-willed or is it just the system's fault?

Sometimes I don't see the point of education in today's society.
But my parents do; "It's a necessity," they say.
I mean, when there's a graduate in every 10 out of 10 people you meet,
you don't really expect education to bring you anywhere in life.

A bachelor's degree act as none but only an entry ticket.
An entry to the society, so that you can earn your stand there.
Without that degree you wouldn't be anywhere;
but having it doesn't means that your future is secured.

This is the kind of life that we are getting now.
A rat race; survival the fittest.
You couldn't expect a certificate or grades to bring you to great heights;
you have to be innovative, you need to know to shake the right hands,
you need to know to scheme and plan, you need to find chances.
Only the smartest and the strongest shall survive this society.
The others, either you get ousted, or you work under them.

Sometimes I cannot bring myself to the fact;
to the fact that I'm so, so much inferior to others,
not just in terms of physical looks,
but brains, planning, social relations, abilities, etc.
I mean, with or without a certificate to buy my entry to the world,
I still don't see anyway that I could make myself stand high among everyone.
Compared to most people, I'm inferior in most aspects.
So well, I just have to live with it.

Certainly there's a way out in life for everyone;
that includes yours truly.
I mean, if I couldn't win a competition in grades, brains, looks, talent,
surely there is something else that shall earn me fame and wealth.
But what is it? I never knew, and I'm still searching for it.

When everyone, at this decision-making-point, is deciding on how their future will be, and how shall it turn out to be,
I am, on the other hand, thinking of how am I going to ensure that i have a future.

I'm always attracted to vices, starting at a tender age of 3;
cards, liquor, cars, hard cold cash, beautiful women.
Though I'm always dabbling with cards and wine,
but I've never thought of walking on the dark side and earning easy money.

But if there's a day to come, whereby this is my only way out to riches;
then, I shall never hesitate to path a career in vices.

After all, it's a job that not many want to do,
giving me some sort of advantage when the masses need this area of 'service'.

Nevertheless, I shall make one last stand on the bright side;
which is, studying hard, and see if I could earn myself a page on the newspaper with my good deeds and 'abilities'.

If not, maybe I'll be the next faction to rise after Yakuza, Triads and the Mafia.

Either way out, I choose not to stay low-
life's too short for too many regrets,
and it's too fast for any hesitation.

"I'm feeling like a Monday, but someday I'll be Saturday Night."