Back to School

So, the holidays are soon coming to an end.
Today is the very last day of the holidays...
Thinking back, I'm just wondering what stuff have I done to make this holiday a memorable one...
Well, quite a number I guess;
and this holiday will never be a regretful one.
All the good times might have ended,
but the memories stay alive in the heart.

And I'm just wondering what should I be doing on the last day of freedom;
but certainly, I'm not stepping out of the house today.
Just need to do some personal administration,
pack my bag, and then prepare the school uniform, get a good night sleep.
Yeap, a brand new adventure awaits me tomorrow.

Frankly speaking, the back-to-school feeling isn't there.
It's been three years ever since I enter this school,
and it just seems like every year gets worse than the previous one.
It's been quite a lot of shit for the past three years;
so starting tomorrow, I gotta lead a life afresh.
No more foolish thoughts, foolish feelings, foolish actions;
I'm just gonna concentrate on what I should be doing.
Which is, studying.

There's a lot to be done this year...
and I believe every little small action of mine is a key step towards my near future.
Or perhaps, to the extend of influencing my whole life.
Well, I don't aim to be the best of the best;
I just want to lead my last year of secondary school life,
as an ordinary, average student, like everyone else;
this is something that I've missed out in the past three years.

So, back-to-school.
Honestly, I ain't excited about it.
But if the misery isn't there, and so does the mockery, the prejudice...
maybe things get a little better.
But well, going to the age of 16, I couldn't care less anymore.
Let it be, I would say; if it doesn't really concern my safety that much.

But of course, I don't want to graduate with regrets.
There's a whole deal of unsettled debts between me and many other people.
Some, I owe them; but most of it, others owe me.
I don't know why, but I just feel that I have to settle it all to get back to point zero; somewhere in which I could start afresh.
I don't have to bring all the haunts from secondary school to the near future;
well, unpaid debts have to be paid.

And debt seeking starts tomorrow.

I couldn't get myself a brand new image after the years of mockery and prejudice.
All I could do, starting tomorrow, is to lead my life as ordinary, as low profile as I could.

What else, could I do?

Those days when I'm still a greenhorn in the school, I remember the lofty achievements I promise myself that I'll achieve. But none of them were realised. So, I told myself, for the last quarter of all these, I'm leading it fruitfully.

And without any regrets.