Thursday

In just a blinking of an eye we've come to the end of the 3rd week in school,
which somehow signify the completion of some form of achievement at this point of life.
To me it does not only meant that the JC curriculum officially kicked in,
but also a sign that I've manage to survive the preliminary stress,
and transit into the next phrase of life successfully.

In one way or another I tend to find myself happier these days;
happy as in the form that I tend to view things less seriously.
Maybe I've become more nonchalant and callous,
or maybe that I learn to take things easier as I've grown in life.
I would say that I tend not to view work so seriously anymore;
as in a sense that I do not get myself occupied with work all day long,
but however I do see the meaning in every piece of work that is given to me.

Happier, maybe because time passes so fast that I only remember the funny moments.
Or maybe it's because that things are much light-heart around me nowadays.
Or is it because no one tends to show their serious and rigourous side in front of me?
There's so much yet to know, and so much that I want to know-
so much that I'm curious about this new phrase of life,
not just only the academic portion, but of people around me,
how they think, how they perceive, how they feel, everything.
Maybe it's just natural instincts that is working on me;
the desire of human to know more about something that they have little knowledge about.

But somehow I manage to come home with a smile everyday;
certainly not because of whatever that is happening around me,
but due to the fact that I choose to perceive things in a certain manner.

I wonder does the current situation explains all for life in tertiary education,
or there are more to come in the later phrases of this life?
Somehow I wish that things would remain status quo,
everything just seems to be rosy and cheerful as they are-
the class's okay, work is still yet manageable, no friendship problems,
no communication breakdowns, no screw-ups, nothing negative.
Is life really that simple, or am I the one that's simple after all?
Maybe there are disagreements that I've yet to know.
Maybe there are dissatisfaction that I've yet to feel.
Maybe there are discouragement that had yet to come.
Maybe, there are so many things still hidden from me.

Well, things might take a turn for no reason in the next second.
But I guessed I'm already trained for counter-measures.

It just all seems to simple, simple to the point that I can't believe.
Maybe it's because that it's only the beginning;
what that I've observed is just the tip of the iceberg.
Maybe there's more, who knows.
Maybe there's going to be a revelation of things we never know.
But all I know is, we got to be ready.

"That's like managing to swim across the English channel, and then trying again in full combat gear." - a friend's comment on O level graduates taking the A levels

Leadership?

I would like to ask everyone reading this a question:
What is a leader?
Or maybe if you would like to to rephrase that,
what is leadership all about?
Maybe to elaborate even further,
How do one define a leader?
What does a leader do?
What are the key principles of leadership?
How is leadership presence in life?
How does one consider oneself a leader?

Leadership, what exactly is it all about?

For the past 5 years I've been trying to find an answer to this question,
and to find the answer to this extremely generalized question,
I sought opportunities to develop myself as a leader,
and to also have a try at taking up leadership roles,
doing things that 'a leader should be doing',
and try to 'act like a leader'.

I gave myself a go at various leadership roles,
voluntary, appointed, elected and nominated ones;
doing things what a class monitor, subject representative, level coordinator have to do.
Back then I used to have the immature mindset of that 'a leader is equivalent to the top gun who takes control of the situation';
leadership to a 13 year-old me was then more like an asset instead of a responsibilities,
lest talking about it as a role of servitude and dedication.

My misconceptions of leadership then resulted in disastrous consequence;
people coined me with the term 'boastful', 'childish' and 'authoritative'.
The process of working together with people taught me that leadership was more than dictating the process and outcome of a particular situation;
somehow a leadership requires one to have the ability to listen most of the time,
rather than talking at one's own free will.
For that, I found out that leadership is an idea of taking responsibilities-
the higher your position, the larger your responsibilities, the bigger the range of activities you got to account for.

Common sense, but it really took me some time to understand that.

Stepping down from my positions after Secondary One,
I gave myself a one year hiatus from any leadership roles,
thinking that the absence for the need to account for people would then protect me from the 'claws of leadership'.
I assumed that the lack of any leadership positions that you hold responsibilities would actually make life better;
now onward, I'm only required to account to myself for my own doings,
instead of having other pinpointing you for your actions when you're a leader.

But all that effort to put myself away from any leadership roles did not deprive me of chances to develop leadership in myself,
or to 'understand the needs and negative consequences of leadership;
it was then the academic valor of the school that obliged everyone to develop a form of leadership among themselves.
We call this process self-leadership;
doing what a leader should be doing, but in this scenario you're your own leader.
You work independently, set aims and targets for yourself,
learn to account for your own doings, and learn to be responsible for your properties.

It was the process of self-leadership in the academic arena that gave me a better idea of what exactly leadership is about;
a leader does not only accounts for his doings towards his followers,
and besides being responsible for his followers and himself,
a leader must have a realistic aim and outlook of the path that he is taking;
a leader must know how to be dependent on his own thinking and turn his thinking into reality.

As I reach the third year of my secondary school curriculum,
I was again given a chance to have a go at being a leader.
Appointed as a Platoon Commander and nominated the monitor of my new class,
I was put in front of a leadership journey that requires me to understand everyone that is following my advice or orders.
It took me effort to understand my new classmates and new subordinates,
and even more to get them to listen to me and follow my directions.
Here I learn that leadership was also about earning trust and faith,
and the development of mutual understanding between a leader and his followers.

While I am once again put on task to the responsibilities as a class monitor,
my appointment as a Platoon Commander led me into a new area of leadership.
Leadership in uniformed groups or the military was not only about subordination, obedience and attentiveness;
it was a whole chain of obligations ranging from communication to brotherhood.
Leadership was here, not just a matter of pulling rank and subjugating others;
it was about developing belief, respect and understanding among everyone,
from a leader to his smallest follower.
The prospects of my appointment include teaching and developing skills in my followers;
it was here that I learn a leader is also one that imparts knowledge and corrects the mistakes of others.

Coming to the final year of service both as a class monitor and Platoon Commander,
I was obliged to lead my juniors to success the appointments that we have left them.
It was all a process of monitoring, guidance and development;
leadership is now not just only a matter of self-development and self-improvement,
but also an idea of sparking inspirations and motivations among others to be like us.
Here, I took effort to impart my skills and experiences to my successors,
guiding them, correcting them, and at the same time,
challenging them, to overcome their obstacles and outshine their predecessors;
inspiring them, to be like us, lighting a flame of passion among the hearts that have yet to come.

As I happily end the four blissful years in Secondary School,
I went on to tertiary education in one of those Junior Colleges in the East.
Here, I once again observe the development of people in the field of leadership;
the requirement of everyone to lead oneself,
the passion of many to become servant leaders to repay the community,
the immaturity of some that are stubborn of leadership being an asset,
the process of leaders guiding leaders-to-be,
and the inspiration and motivation leaders have sparked in the hearts of their followers.

Listening to the campaigning speeches of nominees of the Student Council,
I asked myself a question that I've asked five years ago:
What is a leader?
Or to be more specific,
What exactly is leadership about?

After experimenting with different forms of leadership in the past five years,
having lessons learnt and achievements made,
frankly speaking, I still don't really have a direct answer to that.
For this, you might be thinking that the four years of leadership in my life is then wasted,
or thinking that I've not learn anything after the sagas of leadership in my life...
But well, I guess right now if I were to ask you WHAT is LEADERSHIP all about,
you too, are unable to give me a direct answer to that...

But all in all I am glad to say that even if I couldn't define leadership,
I know how it feels like, in the perspective of a leader and a follower.
I leave it to every individual to define leadership for themselves;
we all have different ideas and beliefs in the same concept after all.
I leave it to others to define my competency as a leader-
those that have worked with me before,
those who have lead me in one way or another,
those who I've lead in a way or two.
But I don't really think that I've made a good leader myself;
there's more that can be done about it.

In conclusion, despite saying so much,
I just want everyone to understand that the concept of leadership is very simple.
While leadership training, concepts and discussion sprung up all over the society,
I would like everyone to consider leadership in this perspective:

When a soldier participates in a battle,
he will always follow his sergeant and never lose sight of him;
because he know that this is the person that he can entrust his survival upon,
and he know that in one way or another,
this person will be the one that guides him from the start to the end,
without abandoning him in the process.

Leadership, after all, it just a simple belief, that's all.

embracing life

I've decide to divert myself away from all that stress I'm going through now,
and just spend some quality time with my PC,
all that social networking sites, blogs and games.
Looking through the archives, it seems like some time ever since I've last blogged,
and I think that perhaps maybe I should give this site some update once in a while.

Finally JC life kick-start into the proper curriculum,
and for the past two weeks I've been having a go at JC lifestyle,
and all the little experiences and sensations that come along with it;
these include changes made to my daily routine, habits and practices.
Things are not as simple as taking the East-West Line everyday,
or wearing a cream-coloured uniform with red belt-
drastic changes have somehow or rather took place,
yet it seems like for this particular round,
I'm able to comfortably assimilate into the new environment.

Are things supposed to be just as simple as such,
or there's more than it meets the eye?

Here goes the old phrase that's been used countless times;
new chapter, new life, new environment, new people, new experiences.
So far things are still manageable, I've not yet flunked any of my test or assignments;
but somehow or rather I feel that the stress adds up as each day passed by.
You don't have the liberty of spending time with your PC daily anymore,
and neither do you have the freedom to do recreational activities during weekends.
Tough, that's all I can say, in the time to come;
but I wonder, since so many students came and went before me smoothly,
perhaps I can also do the same.

Not much of any inter-personal problems this time round;
amazingly you get an average class, with good teachers and lessons doesn't seem too boring like before.
One big difference here is that everywhere you go, you see people mugging-
unlike in my former school, time is always devoted to recreational purposes.
certainly this add on to the stress level,
but then, there's nothing I can do about this but to follow the flow.

Somehow or rather I've not come to the point to accept the fact that everything's been started for some time;
not even the fact that I'm currently a JC student preparing to take the 'A's next year.
Perhaps I'm still in my own world, somehow,
but the pace of the activities around me subconsciously guide me to follow the fast pace of my current routine.
Perhaps everything's going too fast, or maybe I'm still stuck in my old assumption of my environment, I guessed.

While academic stress does not trouble me currently,
somehow I see the need for academic rigor in the environment that I am in now.
As the old saying goes, "When in Rome, do what as the Romans did",
I guess the best way for me to really follow the pace of life is to do whatever everyone else is doing.
But it seems like everyone around me are either smart or muggers...
Times are bad, that's all I can comment.

While it still seems that it's still too soon to bade adieu to my old life,
my new life somehow just comes in and take position all over me.
Maybe, things are getting quick and hasty, and I got to adjust myself to the new environment as quickly as possible.

So far, still good.
Maybe there's still more to come, but well,
isn't life a process of dealing with things that comes your way?
Who knows what have in place for us in the near future...
All I know is, this current path is one that I've handpicked myself,
then I am obliged to give my very best and walk till the end,
no matter of the outcome and consequence.

Adapt and Survive; as my former Co-Form Teacher Mrs Koh said during the first day of Secondary 4,
one have to adjust to the circumstances of the surroundings in order to know what is happening and keep oneself in the game.
I guess no matter where we head towards in life,
everything voice down to the need for adaptation and adjustment.
Only by doing so, then we can maximize our opportunities and chances,
and make full use of all resources around us.

Should the road gets steeper and the weather gets rainy,
I guess all these doesn't matter.
Maybe the old principle still applies;
just do whatever you can in the best of your abilities and the outcome will be more than just satisfaction.
It's the process that matters, not the results.
Maybe it seems that I'm too idealistic to make such comments as a tertiary student,
but well, I can't deny the fact that the big picture of life is to learn and grow.

What that confuse and fear many is the unknown;
the unknown of the future, the unknown of whatever that is going to take place.
Maybe, this might be a wrong choice for me.
Maybe, my first self-decision is going to lead me nowhere.
Maybe, things might not be so simple as it seems.
Maybe, I might not survive even if I adapt.
Maybe, I should be taking Chinese Studies in NP.

Forget about all the pessimistic assumptions,
and it is still too early for any optimistic outlook.
Life is never a bed of roses;
never in life we can have an all-win situation.
But no matter what, it seems important that I finish the game;
maybe it is the process that makes me level up, not the outcome.
If this is going to be a struggle, then I shall struggle well;
no matter what, we all got to put in our best and never quit.

It's been 4 years of hardship, now it's time for something harder;
it's an honourable ending for that 4 years,
why not keep the record and give everyone an excellent finale with success and glory at the very end.

"Life is full of challenges. Embrace them." - Mr Tham Otto, former Mathematics Teacher of ZHSS (2008-2011)

新的开始

某一个情节的结束，代表着另一个情节的开始。

光阴似箭，一转眼就来到了二月；
开学了，是时候穿上校服上学去。
我如愿以偿地进入心目中的理想学院，
带着那份好奇、探索的心情，
我翻开了人生的另一部情节，进入了人生的另一境界。

当初我还在中学念书、在超市打工；
难以相信我现年已有十七岁，已经是个初院生了。
时间走得太快，让我难以跟上它的步伐，
也没有给我太多的时间，让我跟过去的一切道别。
就在那匆忙、感叹的情怀下，我开始了人生的另一篇章。

我是一个念旧的人；唯有在离开了中学后，
才发现我是如此的想念那个地方；
那个令我成长、让我领悟、使我成熟、富有人情味的地方。
然而，天下无不散之筵席，所有美好的东西，毕竟有曲终人散的那一刻。
但是，往往在一切结束时，我们开看见所有的美好，
所有的人情世故，在结束时才学会去珍惜。。。

此时让我做出了一个决定；
我不想再像往常一样，因为失去或结束的东西，
而错过了现有的美好。
如果一切的人、事、物都要我学着去珍惜，
那么我应该在他们还在身边时，而学着去感恩。

也许是往常的那份执著，使我无法接受所有的一切；
可能是从前的那份念旧，使我无法珍惜眼前的美好。
但是，这一次我要学会去珍惜，而不是等到失去时，才来后悔。

眼前的路是一片迷茫，是直是弯我也无法任别；
但是这一次我心里有数，此路是一生中唯一一条自己选择走的路，
无论如何一定要走完它，一定要走下去；
自记的决定是没有回头路的，所以一定要坚持到底。

现在，我竟入了人生的新一篇章，希望在开始这段旅程前，
能够克服所有的恐惧，让我一口气走到终点。。。

卖柑橘记

龙年即将到来，老板把我部署在分行外卖柑。

我敢说这应该是一项万人都不求之的工作；
除了日晒雨淋之外，还要面对顾客的种种刁蛮，
有时还得背黑锅，受气，等等的委屈。
然而，打工的也是纳这种东西没辙。。。
因为我们是为人打工的。

刺激到我的灵感的非顾客，而是一粒粒的柑橘。
柑橘可能在众人的眼中毫无差别，其实背后也有一门学问；
广东的咏春芦柑甘香清甜，不过不易耐放，容易腐烂；
汕头的蕉柑味道涩涩的，不过难堪却扎实的外皮给它添了个保护膜；
产自巴基斯坦的蜜柑外表夺人，不过里头的肉却是酸的；
台湾碰柑果肉扎实，清甜多水，价格也当然不便宜。

顾客来购买柑橘时，有的精挑细选，看了一粒换一粒；
有的个性爽快，拿了就走人。
有的顾客百般挑剔，仗着自己有几分钱就来此揶揄弄人；
有的顾客也是服务行业出身，尽心体谅、合作。
有的可以豪爽买下几百箱柑橘，
有的为了一粒，可以跟你斤斤计较。

始终令我感兴趣的，仍然是柑橘。

芦柑多水，外皮不厚，顾客摸起来软软的，就以为是次等货。
顾客远走之后，拨开橘皮尝尝，
其实那软软的芦柑可真是甘香，而顾客却走宝了。
蕉柑外皮不美，不是办年货的首选，
不过它那难看的外皮，却是让它能够成为唯一能渡过元宵的柑橘的理由。
蜜柑光有外表，果肉的味道不知道让多少顾客反感；
而顶级的碰柑，也只有会欣赏的人才懂得品尝。

其实，往更深一处去思考，我们何尝不类似柑橘？
有的人就如芦柑一样，外表不健壮，一副弱势人群的样子，
谁可知他可能是一位学富五车、知识渊博的才子？
有的也许会像蕉柑，外表丑陋，也许内涵也不是很深，
但是坚强的外形却给了身边的人一种安慰和依赖，
就如蕉柑因为耐收而成了一些人的首选。

有的就如蜜柑，光有外表，长得楚楚动人，魅力可倾国倾城；
但是内心的世界是否相同，就令人难以琢磨，
也许是一副菩萨心肠，也可能是一位蛇蝎美人。
而碰柑的好，也许只有知道的人才会品尝；
有的人的美好，也许，就只有那些知道的人才能领悟。

若把柑橘比喻成人，那么选柑、买柑，就如选友、选伴一样吧。

有的人眼光独特，选的都是上等货；
有的则固执与自己的看法，选了次等货回家。
有的我们看似外表输人，但是果肉却十分甘甜；
有的买了一箱自认为好货的回家，隔天就拿来对换了。。。

因为里头的柑橘全都烂了！

来我这里选柑橘，坏了可以对换；
但是很多时候，我们非常清楚，
有的朋友交了，是好是坏，都无法对换。
买了柑橘，不满意也许还能退货，
交换了承诺，那就是一辈子的事了。

人生一步一脚印，也许就如选柑橘；
左挑右选，东看西看，看了一个认为好的，自然就有更好的。
选的时候，有的注重外表，有的则注重内涵；
有的能够难得好货，有的时运差，偏偏就是挑到次等货。
其实选柑橘就如看人、交友、结缘一样吧；
看到的人，交道的朋友，结到的良缘，其实就是在选柑橘，
完全处决于自己的态度和想法。

也许，我们就如那千千万万的顾客，慢慢地选着柑橘；
同时我们也如同一粒粒柑橘一样，认人挑选。

是好货、还是次等货，卖橘的我只能说，
这并非由自己的条件来说明，而是由他人的眼光来约束。
所以，无论是好货坏货，我们都无需在意太多。。。

因为到底我们依然都同样是柑橘，人的口味不同，
总有一天，我们都会找到自己的伯乐。

致意

四年前的十二月，仿佛末日降临；
当时那种烂成绩，不仅夺走了我所有的光彩，
还把我踢入万丈深渊，想要令我无法翻身。
这四年，我受尽了多少揶揄，多少侮辱，多少冷言冷语。。。

所有的事，所有的人，就如报应一样，
处处折磨、刁难我，
令我就如过街老鼠一般，人人喊打；
人看我，总带着瞧不起的眼光，
总拿我与他人比较，总认为我无法表现。。。

十年寒窗无人问，一举成名天下知；
金榜题名了，才有那么多的惊讶和错愕；
本是想低调一点，谁知消息一传出，
那些有的没有的都打电话来“祝贺”，
真是让人觉得，世事难料，真是一个成绩挂帅的社会。。。

不过说真的，这四年过得特别痛苦、特别艰难，
一切，都是一布一脚印踩出的踏实路；
所以，今日能够如此成果，十分得来不易，
让人而外珍惜，特别感恩。

想当初还是垫底的我，也有今日！
阔别四年，不知有否让人刮目相看？

四年令我成熟、稳重多了；
四年的甜酸苦辣，令我成长、令我领悟；
四年的是是非非，让我明白，让我看清；
四年的一切，也让我结交不少的挚友。

没有骄傲的心态，只有感恩的心态；
以下要特别感谢：

诸位学校老师和补习老师；
没有他们的付出就没有我今日的成果，
因为他们的关怀、他们的支持、他们的帮助，
我才有今天，所以我的成绩是属于他们的。

父母和少许关心的亲戚；
没有他们的支持和挑战我就无法突破重围，超越自己。

与我“桃园三结义”的二位好兄弟，CK & CJ；
没有他们的鼓励和开导我也无法成就如此成绩，
多亏他们的义气和帮助，我才能够坚持至此。

学生军众家将；
多亏他们给于我的美丽回忆和美好时光，
使我开朗许多，让我有信心迎接所有挑战，
才有今天的成果，和我们共同的回忆。

补习班的同学；
常常令我有一个开怀的星期三，
让我在轻松的环境下学习数学；
也有你们的笑话和玩闹，
才令着紧张的一年时常怀有愉快的气氛。

特别感谢与我亦敌亦友的小寒；
没有你从前的揶揄，我就不会尝试写作和博客；
因为从前，有了当今，
而就是因为写作，我成就了一切。
万分敬意和感恩，多谢！

再次感谢所有曾经帮助过、支持过、鼓励过我的人；
我的成果，不是个人的，而是因为有了大家，
才有今天的我。

十分感恩，谢了各位！

说，不说

此时心里有种怪怪的感觉。

彻夜没有睡得很好，也没有睡得很久；
不过一起身却感觉精力充沛的。
不知道为何，就是有点奇怪。

我说我要分享些。。。
哎呀，还是别说了。
有些事，我想我不应该说吧。

哈哈。

我总觉得，人嘛，就要做到三件事：
通过过去，把握当前，展望未来。
过去，都已经过去了；
从前的一切不再有，随着时间消失去。
当前是我们唯一能够拥有、把握的，
所以，要珍惜眼前的光阴，眼前的一切，
一切的人，一切的事。
未来，我们无法推定；未来，怀满未知数，
所以唯一能做的，就是有所展望，怀着希望，不要失望。

所以，我经常想想，过去错过的，
我可能要在当今好好弥补，
以至到了未来就不会失望。
过去的，已经过去了；
眼前的，我不想错过，
所以，未来才会美满吧。

可是，我有时很担心；
担心过去的阴影会在当今缠绕着我，
以致我无法看清自己的未来。
我担心，过去的效果挥之不散，
影响了当今，更破坏了未来。

如果时间可以倒流，
我会说我一定不会犯下从前的过错。。。
不过时间是不会倒流的，
所以我想乘着当今，当自己还能掌握一切时，
尽力改变一切的错误，不要在不久的将来留下遗憾。

过去的往事已随风而飞，
我只希望，当今是个变奏曲，
能够让我改变这一切。

因为失去一次就够了；
朋友易得，知己难求啊。。。

哎呀，都说了不要说出来，
说出来坏了事，
怎么还一口气都说出来了。。。

说了，但愿，不会坏事吧？