wednesday.

and today was another boring day in sch.

was lyk loithering around the class cuz i realy had nth to do in the morning.
and then we had a double period geog.
kinda sian larh...much manage to crack some jokes,
which didnt lift any spirits.

wad comes up next were plain dry lessons.
except phy. got to test the volt and ammeter today.
and my wadou ichimonji came into use today when i help kenneth to cut the string tying the newspaper,
though it wasnt the first cut made(eugene cut his finger while playing with it ytd).

and there's sth i really wanna voice.
well, it happens in CE period,
when the gals wanna get ppl to dress up and take foto for the RHD foto comp.
and the rest of the class will form the shape of our cresent moon and stars.
and so, the whole class has to stay back tmr for it.
needless to say, i rejected it.

gave some kind of lame excuses lyk "i nid to polish my boots", "i nid to chiong wk".
but the fact is, i dun even wan to go. and this stir up some argument.
and i wonder if she had cry over this matter, thinking that im nt cooperative.

but the fact remains that, i dun see myself as part of the class.
it does really hurt when ur existence seems to matter nth in the class.
and when u're grp with ur classmates in a grp, their reaction is lyk "wtf...".
but she told me, its just that u're rehecting urself, hate urself(cant rmb wad she say clearly).
okay, the class might not hate me, but they do despise me.
this can be proved when they siam me as much as possible,
whe they "shoot" me when i voice sth...
2 yrs and it feels lyk u're at the top level of impel down,
cuff up by seastone handcuffs.

i just lost the sense of belonging to the class,
ans their words and actions tells me that my existence does not bother them.
so, wads the point of going for class stuff?
if u tell me we're having a part b or 6B'07 chalet i'll fork wadever i can.
but for impel down which i suffer badly? no.

i dunno whether the fault is on me or wad.
maybe im not cooperative, maybe i just think too mucyh of the class.
but the fact remains clearly: most of them despise me, and even those close ones view me as the lowerdown.

everyday, i come to class just for studying.
and it seems lyk im a social outcast, i cause all the fault that makes me being isolated.
in fact, i dun.
and to her,
pls, i will only act lyk part of the class, when they treat me lyk one.
okay, they might treat me lyk one, but they despise me as an unwanted classmate?
noe the reason why i brought wadou ichimonji?
its just to stop all the mocking from u ppl.

wait, my reasoning begans to sound more and more lyk my tuition tcher.
maybe cuz the academics-social fun i had was tuition.
clarence, xavier, christine. i can really call them classmates.

mah, wadever might occurs,
i just hope that this yr pass by fast.
and hope that the next two yrs is not impel down again.

and, ms wah(ex ce tcher) and mr ivan(counsellor),
sry that things did not improve for me.
and ms suba, ur efforts to help me to get tgt with the class,
might be wasted. sry.

"So, we just have to kick his ass right?" -Monkey D. Luffy.