Evaluating Monday

As the days draw nearer towards the prelim exams,
the study attitude and quota intensified.
Today I've spent some 8 hours flipping textbook pages and recollecting formulas...
and you doubt how much fun there is in it, and how could one survive through it.
It's not really much of an event, but it isn't a chore either.
It is, however, something that I think all of us should be doing now.

I guess I must have been missing lots of fun out there.
I'm not so sure about how my classmates are doing;
whether if they are burying themselves in books or enjoying the summer season,
but all I knew is I'm sort of lacking in time and speed.
The quota isn't enough to hit by the time the exams reach me,
and neither do my learning and revising speed is able to catch up with the rest.

I hope that majority of my peers are idling their holiday away;
at least that will give me some consolation of my steady yet slow speed of revising.
But the fact remains that most of them are spending like 70% of each day,
trying to stuff, memorize, recollect everything that is in the syllabus.
This, is just somewhat demoralizing.

But at least, I'm here doing my best;
no hard feelings against my conscience.

But either way out I guess I'm still missing out a lot.

I have always outline about the lack of motivation in my revision,
but so far I have yet to address this problem positively.
As shown in the picture above, I believe I really need a reason.
A reason, something that reason me to study, something to push me,
and most important, to motivate me to greater heights.
But then it remains a fact that I'm just doing it for the sake of doing it-
what a nice reason for me to do something.

These days I'm really concern about the things happening around-
the NATO airstrikes in Libya, the conflict in the South Sea,
and then the comments addressing the problems of housing and transport...
I'm kind of content with myself that at this point of time,
I am still able to connect whatever that is happening in real life to those case studies and values in my textbooks.
At least, to an otaku like me, it just justifies that I'm moving at the same pace as of planet Earth.

Many times I just can't help myself but to relate current affairs to my lessons.
I would basically refer it towards subjects of History and Social Studies.
Especially Social Studies, whereby you learn the basis of managing a nation;
learning about the principles of governance and foreign relations from the textbook,
it puzzles me that why couldn't governments, both local and foreign, do as according to whatever they tried preaching in their education syllabus?
'Leadership is key', 'Anticipate change and stay relevant'...
How true; it seems like actions always speak louder than words,
and these actions... always seem to be so hard to carry out.

And history. Looking at all the bloody conflicts around in this world,
it just signal to me that history is always repeating itself.
How big nations pick on small states, and how war and military is use as a bridge to achieve one's aim...
Whatever case studies I read in my textbook seems to revive everyday.
It's the same story, just that we have a change in the protagonists.

Maybe the problem lies with us; it's maybe a genetic factor.
We never learn, and we couldn't do as of we said.
It seems like we could make a mistake, evaluate it, and then repeat it again.
Same goes for our words; we speak of something this moment,
and then do something else the next moment.

It's the problem with nations, with government...
and I believe, with me.
Like big nations, I never learn from my past failures and mistakes;
and like governments, it seems tough for me to live up to my words all the time.

Well, may it be, and let it be;
because we are, after all, mere mortals.
We are simply a race that live an event and forget it the next day.
And yet again, perhaps that is the reason that we are able to start from scratch everything we fail or lose;
the past is never much of a concern to our progress towards the future.

And that, back again, is why we never learn,
or why I never learn to reflect and reform.

To evaluate and analyze all these here, is fair simple.
Outside, I can give a all-round-applause speech;
here, I can write a thousand words, like now, to reflect the situation.

But as I said, it's never the same when we try to put our words into action.
And I, here, can speak to great heights and extend-
but from where could I start my deeds to realise whatever that I've said?

Maybe, it's because that I'm part of mankind, after all.

And so, if I were to again, crash and burn in this exam,
of course I will wail and weep and cry and shout.
But I guess sometime later, no matter how hard the consequences are,
this incident will get bury by time and past.
At that point of time, I've learn to walk on, towards the future.

Precisely; never to learn from the past, and seldom able to realize my words;
without a target in front for me to progress towards,
what else is there, please tell me, that would motivate me to do my very best in securing a future ahead?