morning!

woke up, feels afresh.
today is another day, another holiday;
unlike the past few days,
i don't have much activities for today.

so i started by my by going out for a walk,
and a quiet place for breakfast.

i sat down and thought.
thought of how have i been spending my holidays.
the past week was spec course,
and i had yesterday for another event.
so perhaps, today i should get my ass down and get some work cracking.

well, i've been thinking about how nice are the holidays.
yes i do miss some of my classmates and school;
but then, having some alone time at home,
to me it is so much more better.

rather than facing all the shit back in school.

leading a 'half military' life during the holidays;
for most of the time,
i'm either donning my camouflage uniform,
or be involved in certain military activities.
well, for academic slack time,
CCA arises. you start to get busy with events.
so generally, students don't really get much rest in a year;
except perhaps for the last two weeks of december.

sat down and think.
besides thinking about how to set time away for various holiday activities,
i'm just thinking about some lessons i learn in life,
some people i met in life,
and also some memories i had in this life.
i must say at certain times i'm sort of sentimental.
these times, i look back more than i look forward.

thought of the happy times i had last year.
thought of my childish days back in secondary one.
and thought of her; though i felt nothing anymore.
that was just bad memories; bad ones that follows you for life.

and i do like to sit down and visualise.
visualise about both good and bad stuff.
recently all the illusions i had, or the thoughts i'm thinking about,
had many of them coming true.
turning into reality.
there was this time i was thinking about me failing my GSK.
the next day i had my 'cookie' incident.
and then some other stuff that is to private to be mentioned.
but now i'm thinking of me as the part A OIC.
what's next?

so now, i back to the state.
the state whereby you have no desires for power,
no desires for lust, greed, everything.
you just want everything to go slowly.
let me enjoy this holiday.

sometimes, not everything in life is about attaining and winning.