Why

It has never been, and it'll never be.

I don't know why I'm coming here to crap so late at night,
but well, there are a few things that I hope to discard in the cyber world,
and then, start everything afresh the next day.

But well, how much can I say? How much can I post?
It invites nothing but trouble.
Frankly speaking, perhaps the existence of this blog,
is merely a platform for me to escape from reality temporarily.
I mean, well, my writing skills ain't great to nowhere;
and then, no one seriously gives a damn about whatever feelings I portray here.

I ever thought of shutting down this blog,
and then, maybe just lead a life that spends lesser time on the computer.
But then, this little blog have transformed into a form of reliance.
I'm too reliant on it to get myself moving on;
because other than the keyboard, no one else cares about whatever I feel and think.

There's a lot I want to voice out.
Views, ideas, thoughts, perceptions, and most importantly,
feelings.
But I believe that no one else cares so much;
to many, I'm a mere supporting cast in the story of their life,
and even worse, just a nobody.
many wouldn't care-
even if they did, it's just a little pat and then a few words of console;
sort of entertaining me to stop me from whining.

It doesn't really cost a lot to make me feel happy.
All I need is genuine care, and maybe, a listening ear?
But no one else cares, and no one likes to listen.

Maybe the cyber world is the only place,
whereby I feel that at least I'm something.
This blog, is my fantasy land.

How much I want to say the three word,
or how much I want to voice my opinions.
But well, no one cares. I wonder why.
Maybe, perhaps, I'm just too insignificant.
My role, is too small.

Even I don't see what purpose I am living for.
Even I don't see a purpose of my efforts.
Even I don't see a reason why should other care about me.
Well, I don't need that kind of slight pat you'll give an acquaintance.
I think I'm better without that.

I don't know, I don't know;
I feel so dejected in life.
It just seems like there's nothing much I can do.
It just seems like no one bothers and care.

Everyone, or sometimes, every girl, said the same thing to me.
"Hey, look around there's friends who care about you."
"Hey, wait patiently, and you'll find the destined one."

And yet, you guys didn't care like how genuine friends cared;
and yet, you girls never appreciate at all.

I'm real tired of this.
But fret not, though no one bothers,
I can't possibly end my life for this.
Be it God or Allah they call Him;
He put me through this, I believe, for a purpose.

It's just that I don't see the purpose of it.

But well, I guess life goes on- no matter what happens.

But heck, I had enough of this lone ranger survival.

But why me who go through all these,
being unlucky and unhappy for 15, near 16 years of life?

Frankly speaking, I've never been genuine happy through these 15 years;
because nothing really happened to make me smile.
And I've never been genuine angry-
at least, I'm tolerant enough with all the bullshit around me.

But then, I guess frown for most of my life.