hmm.

the second post of the day. *claps*

just now platoon mate called again.
is like that he's been calling me almost at least once per day.
and im getting sick of it,
so i just pick up the phone,
shouted a bit, and hung up.
looks like there's another war again.

suddenly, a kind of emptiness filled me.
a kind of rage conquered me.
a certain thought ran through my mind.
it sends my heart thumping,
and my blood rate increases.
never had i felt like this for a long time.

told myself that its time to end this feeling.
even though it never act up for a long time,
but it's still there.
that, which left me with sour and bitter taste,
tormenting me for a long period of time.

thinking back now,
i felt so much lyk a failure.
being back-stabbed and rejected countless times by many ppl,
and it left me with uncountable scars and wound.
i had no choice, but to stand up myself,
and walk on alone.

all along, i've never ever felt the feeling of being helped.
i've never felt the feeling of being loved.
i've never felt the feeling of being supported by the masses.
i've hardly ever felt a hand pulling me up from distress.

this makes me feel that i need to help others more.
this makes me feel that i need to love others more than ever.
this makes me feel that i need to support great ideas.
this makes me feel that i need to lend a helping hand whenever i can.

i've tasted the bitter that many taste in adulthood now;
i've felt the distress that many felt at a matured age;
i've seen the most heartless events that many have yet to see;
i've came across the obstacles that many have yet to cross.

i've learn to turn bitterness into sweetness,
i've learn to find opportunities in distress;
i've learn to kill and plunder heartless people,
i've learn to strike down obstacles blocking my way.

all i knew is that,
today, i have a higher amount of willpower;
a formidable level of strength.
i've came across stages that no one ever helped me.

so i knew,
all the more i must help others when they need help.