Finding . Friends

I guess if love is one that many desire,
then friends are something that is essential in life too.
Like love, friends are what that makes life colourful-
filling one's life with laughter, purpose, happiness and all sorts of memories.

All of us desire for friends;
one that we can share our joy and troubles with,
one is is willing to stand by us against all odds,
one who is willing to render all help when we are down,
one who is always there shining for us like a star in the sky,
even if we don't see them at times.

But sometimes I just like to ask myself,
what exactly is the definition of friends,
and what exactly is friendship?
How do I define a bond between me and another person as friendship?

To relate what in the end makes me define this relation,
let me begin my story when I first interact with people of my age.

I guess much interaction between people of our own age starts when we were four or so.
Back in the years when we're a toddler, life just revolves around our parents and family.
However when we first started pre-school, that was when we met a deal of people who were as of the same age as us.
Despite being in the same class, we never addressed each other as classmates;
instead, we like to use the term friend.

I was a meek and silent boy when i was much younger,
and hence I didn't have much of a 'friend' in kindergarten.
While others like to sit down and play together,
I preferred doing my own stuff away at another corner.
However there were two boys I met in kindergarten;
who change my perspective of school forever.

When I was much younger at age 5 I always thought school was bad;
you get scolded by the teacher, you get picked by other students,
and then you got to do homework and sing the songs you didn't want to sing...
and that put me away from school.
It was them- these two boys who encourage me to school,
accompany me in all activities in school,
and give me a push whenever I need.
Sometimes I would wonder why they would go to such extend for a classmate back then;
maybe because we're much more innocent then,
and we treat everyone of our age as 'friends'.

Nevertheless, they taught me that school was a fun place.

I'm pretty sure that I didn't have much friends in Primary school;
much of my time was occupied by homework and studying,
that results in my lack of social interaction to forge bonds.
However there's always a deal of awesome people in school,
who seems to be the most wonderful people on Earth;
at first they used to let me join the activities,
but soon we drifted apart due to the differences in personality.

So I didn't really have much of a friend then;
they were just nice classmates that would cooperate and help everytime you need them.

The real nightmares begins in Secondary school;
I met a dozens of different personality,
which is much of a contrast to my Primary years where the people were straightforward and suave.
Some are real introverts, while some are extreme extroverts;
Then I don't know why there are also scheming people,
evil, business-minded bastards who only seeks profit;
also the so-called 'cool guys' who think that they are the top of the world,
and treat everyone else like dung.

Yet despite the mass difference between people in this institution,
I came across people who I shall address them as 'Comrades'.
Those were the real ones who seem to be much similar to you,
sharing the same aims, dreams and thoughts-of-life.

First group of people that I would address as comrades were two brave soldiers who have seen 'action' with me in the 'frontline':
CK and CJ, my respective superior and aide-de-camp in the Corps.
I'm not too sure of how everything started then,
but it seems like we hit it off very well;
maybe due to the similarities in some areas that we shared.
It was a whole deal of fun;
who often joked together during training, tekan the same people during training,
and also share our weals and woes with each other.

Yet on the much serious side, we were always by each other's side at times of crisis;
we faced the music as one, and solved the problems together.
It just resembles any of those war movies I've watched;
one for all, all for one, together we can make a difference.

Indeed, we went on to create history in our CCA.

Come to a point there's also another comrade who once fought with me;
back in Secondary 2, we were from the same class;
but yet it seems like the bond went beyond that of a classmate.
We do our morning jogs together, spent time outside together,
and then share our troubles and joys together too.
Fret not, we are not gays;
it's just that there is some form of similarity that pulls us together.

However the sad thing is that once the similarity is gone,
the bond is never there anymore.
It remains as one of the silent regret in life.

There's also a couple of hundreds of people I came across;
many had lend me a helping hand whenever I needed one,
but sometimes it just seems like there's no one else that is willing to fight by my side.
I came across people that hi off with me instantly;
but yet there seems to be not much of a similarity to keep us bonded.

Till date I've met several people in life,
and I only manage to build relations with some of them;
and among these 'some of them',
I only manage to build closer ties with a few of them.

So how do I define friends?
It's not just adding each other on Facebook, having each other's contact number,
chatting every once in a while, and share some jokes sometimes that makes one a friend.
I guess a friend is worth so much more than that;
but it's pretty ironic I don't know how much more.
So when some acquaintances tries to address me as a friend,
deep down in heart I always wonder that whether this person view friendship lightly,
or just define everyone that he or she knows as a friend.

As for those comrades;
they're like another form of bond.
The brotherhood bond, I would say, needless for anything to serve as a foundation of friendship.
Well, why? Because we are brothers;
there's never a need for something to serve as a bonding platform between brothers.

Maybe on the contrary, I myself define 'friendship' higher than its value;
that's why there are certain aspects I viewed as essential to calling one person my friend.

I wouldn't say that I'm bad at building relations,
but it's just that it seems like I couldn't find the right people.

So, who are my friends actually?
That's why Walker is walking alone everytime.

'Alte Kameraden', meaning 'Old Comrades'(above video);
dedicated to those who have once fought by my side,
and those who have treated and viewed me, as a friend.