Self-Reflection

I guess it's been some time since the previous time I'm here;
likewise, I wondered once again,
how many of those patronizers would actually visit this blog at this point of time?
Well, despite the fact that statistics shows a declining rate of visitors,
I believe that there's still people out there who appreciates my words and prose.

It's been some weeks since the previous preliminary exams;
again, as we move away from one climax to another one,
we entered a stage of dormancy and things starts to get a little eased.
At this point of time, I believe that many would revert to their 'old patterns',
of playing, enjoying and laughing all day long with their friends and mates;
while the much more observant ones would use this dormant period to pace themselves,
so that they could gradually move towards excellence in academics,
fulfilling the responsibilities of a student.

Like many, I try to make full use of the minutes and seconds;
everything, from work to play, has to be generally productive,
if not helpful to my aspects.
So, while I become a workaholic on one end and tackle my inadequacy in academics,
I knew well of when to let loose and relax.

Again for every action or task we fulfill,
there must be a reason or purpose for it.
Despite the fact that I lack reasons for the involvement in my work,
I believe that life still has to be productive on the overall.
Sticking to this mindset, I put in the utmost effort to make the best out of everything,
hoping that the time is never wasted and is spent at least on doing something meaningful.
Maybe for the time being that will stay as my reasons, perhaps.

I noticed the trend of BGRs in my school,
particularly my class and people around me.
One by one, those alte Kameraden 'left' me,
much for the fact that every relationship needs the investment of time and effort.
So on one hand you forge trust with your soulmate,
on the other hand you might not realize that you are eroding that old bond of yours.

In general I observed that teens do better in their everything when they get into a relationship, especially in my school-
maybe much due to the fact of good mood and motivation brought by the relationship;
the girl or boy also stands as a perfect reason for you to strive for excellence,
so that this relationship would be built upon a better and stronger foundation.

I have to admit that at times I am pretty much disturbed,
and disgusted at all the lovely-dovely between these teens;
yet on the other hand I am astonished by the effect that love brought upon them.
With this powerful reason, some boosted their position to some top 20s;
and others became more hardworking and interested in knowledge.

I would often put myself in comparison with these people,
especially my close mates whom many are in a relationship;
often I would ask myself,
"Look. They have a purpose in life. What's yours?"

Being much of a social outcast of a different personality,
relationships and friendships had never been a priority in my teenage years.
I firmly believe in the old saying of "Prime of Life"-
the days whereby we feel, think, and look young are the best days of life.
Certainly this is the one and only period of prime in life;
never would you really reached another period,
where you feel young physically and mentally.

At this point of time when we are the most naive,
the most energetic and enthusiastic,
we would put in the utmost effort whenever we set our eyes on something.
I would refer that as the bashfulness and rashness of a youth;
some kind of straight thinking and decisive actions that solely come from the youth.

If these are to be the days where we lay our foundations,
then we got to set our priorities right and lay a solid foundation.

Hence, after much thinking previously,
I had come to understand something:
For most of the time in life, you only have one chance.
That includes your youth.
If we were to spent our youth dwelling over games and play,
relationships, that bitter-sweet puppy love...
Then I believe that the same bashfulness of youth that made us happy,
would make us sad and regretful in time to come when we reach old age.

Over here, I am not trying to discourage people from getting into a BGR;
though I do not believe that the magics of love would work on me,
I still believe in the existence of love that would overcome all obstacles.
However, we have to be clear about what we are doing-
we got to set priorities about our life.
We have to understand what is beneficial, and what is not.

The short period of enjoyment now may be soothing to the mind,
but yet the consequences are long term.
We live only once; likewise youth only applies to all of us once.
Hence, it is important for us to spend the time of teenage in appropriate areas and manner.

Maybe it is because of this mindset; the mindset of being productive,
making things meaning, that really get me to sit down and do what I should be doing.

In time to come, I hope to see the fruits of my labour;
yet when the reality doesn't corresponds with my wishes,
I could only say that my conscience is clear-
I spent the time that never returns in a wise manner.