27

"I always believe that the most important job among the 8 Heads would be the Part B OIC. You see, these Part B will become Part C that leads the company next year; if the OIC messed things up then these Part B will surely mess up the next generation of Part B, therefore screwing the company thereafter." - MSG[Retd] J M LAM.

no doubt, it has been a hard job ever since i took over.

i always worry a lot.
worry for them; worry for their future.
worry about those that could not keep up with the pace the platoon is moving.
worry about some couldn't learn enough to go for spec course.
worry about those that weren't reformed properly would destroy their own future.

and also worry for myself.

this time round, if i screw things up;
it wouldn't be like how it was in the past.
in the past i would suffer all the shit myself when i screwed up;
but this time, they are going to be the ones who suffered if i screwed up.

i dare not to lax for a single second.
i dare not to slack for a slight moment.

i always told myself,
"after us, they are the last hope the company would have."
the current secondary one cadets don't look promising enough;
but if this batch of cadets were trained to be the elites,
then i could ensure another three generation of prosperity thereafter.

therefore, i choose to go the hard way on them.

27 men, 27 men of different characteristics;
but they have one common side.
most of them choose not to speak up,
unlike my generation.
it might be good; it saves them a lot of unwanted trouble.

but yet, when they don't speak up,
i'm not able to help them properly.

i always felt a special affinity ever since i met them.
then, they were just secondary one kids;
yet very cheeky, very playful.
their previous boss gave them a special form of training,
till many became 'tamed';
i guess most of them followed orders,
not because they respect a certain NCO,
but they knew it is an order,
and as a military man, they have to carry it out.

it might be good;
it saves me a lot of peer-personal problem.
at least they know how to follow orders.

and i'm going to use that to trained them to be the creme de la creme.

look at the picture;
i can say that there are quite a few promising ones.
well, at the end of my term,
i want to make them ALL to be promising cadets.
they are those that have hidden talents in them.
i need to take the effort to discover these talents.

i gave chance for many to perform;
and i can see results in them.
well, i hope the streak continues;
i don't want them to end up like my generation.

i can say that this is my last stand,
as well as their last stand.
my last stand before i get sacked and exile to somewhere else;
their last stand before their specialist's course.

i don't have much time left,
and yet, i still have so much to do with them.

i always think that i am not doing enough.
on the physical side, the mental side, the emotional side.
maybe sometimes i did things too harsh;
some were hurt, yet some came out stronger.
but i have to accommodate myself to all of them.
i have to understand the minds and hearts of all 27 of them.

perhaps this is what 2LT Yeong said,
"It's a start of a new journey.
A journey of a NCO."

a NCO journey isn't super tough;
but it ain't super easy too.
sometimes, i knew that i couldn't depend on myself to train them all;
i need help from my mates.
yet i knew i am the pillar of the platoon;
i am the one leading them where to go,
what to do, how to do.

and soon, they have to know where to go,
what to do, how to do;
soon they will be the ones leading.

i have to prepare them for that.

though i admire certain cadets,
but i never sided any of them.
all, are like younger brothers to me.
i have to coach them, i have to lead them.

i don't know how much further i can bring them;
maybe one day, they'll stop following my orders.

but i hope by then,
they had learn the essence of all my knowledge.