one last try.

taking one last gamble,
after when i have lost almost everything.
even if i lose in the end,
i still have to laugh happily after that.

a lot of things happened today.
a lot, a lot.
so much, that it tired me out once again.

life wasn't as pleasant as how it supposed to be.
even after professional consultation,
life, is still as bland, as bleak, as dark.
again, the many incidents that happen today,
let me see through so much things again.

one thing that struck a hard feeling on me this morning.
well, the guys were playing soccer in the field.
and then, the chinese team was beating the singaporean team so much.
my skills...they're bad. real bad.
and many a times i couldn't really tackle or mark someone else.
i remember a time when our goal was left unattended,
and one of the team players asked me to guard the goal.
'i stand there i'll only let in goals.'
a harsh reply came of one of them, who i'm mot going to name,
'u dun stand there, u also let in goals.'

i walked off, under the shame given by spectators,
under the scorn of the players on the field.

today afternoon.
big things happen, regarding the FSD competition.
well, needless to say, surely i'll get some presents.
and i came back with an angry mood of everything.
kah chee, deon, and some juniors,
gave me a word of consolation.
even jingming is willing to lend a hearing ear to my woes.

later on, we had a last go at the routine.
one last battle, for the sake of the team.
wayne was there to lift the morale, so was junli and so'if.
these seniors, who at least give that effort to bother about us.
wayne, a worthy senior.

some random guy gave us chicken rice for our break time.
VP 2, Ms Yeo was there personally to cheer the team on.
and some other gals.

seeing so much today;
i really don't know what to say.
all i know is,
for everything,
i'm fighting my one and only, last battle.

everyday i walked into class,
which my presence seem not to be bothered about;
everyday during recess,
for many a times i kept quiet and i walked alone.

many a times in my CCA,
i faced so much obstacles;
also in some other areas too.

in many areas of the school,
i'm an outcast, a loner;
in class, many times in CCA.

yet in some areas of school,
i felt i had some use;
i get to lead a cool down session in FAC,
my juniors called me 'Boss' with respect,
and then, there are still people who are noticed of my skills.

life. that's life for me.