What?

okay, and after a day of slacking at home,
today i got to get my a** off to SAFRA Yishun.
the annual IMT training again.
used to dread it a lot 'cause i'm never a good shot.
but this time the rounds seem to hit the target hard.
and we had our very own sing-along-session on our way back.
the Part Cs were singing 'My Love'....
and everyone got so high.

and i doubt i will have a relaxing weekend this week.
today i have IMT, tomorrow another thing coming up.
argh...life's getting a bit haste than before.
got to quicken my steps, if not i'll get left behind.

well, to put all the boring stuff aside,
again its the time for my very own self-reflection.
i'm thinking about something like this:
you know that something wouldn't happen,
yet you kept on working on it to hope that it happen,
but in reality it will never happen.
i wonder should i call this determination,
or just plain stupidity.

certain times i find myself like this.
i know that something wouldn't happen at all,
yet i still get myself working on it,
hoping that some kind of miracle will happen,
and all the hard work gets pay off and the dream comes true.
i wonder should i classify myself as someone who is determined,
or someone that is just plainly stupid.

this is just some kind of bitter sweet feeling.
you know that no results will come out of your hard work,
yet you are actually willing to do all the sh*t.
and you feel happy because you are doing the sh*t.

this happens to me all the time.
i knew that it is impossible,
yet i never give up.
some people say i am very hardcore,
others branded me 'stupid'.
i knew giving up was the right choice for me;
it will end all the unwanted sufferings and effort wasted,
yet i just can't bring myself to it.
well this is life.

i just couldn't find the explanation to this.
why many people knew something was impossible,
yet they set their hearts and minds to doing it.
they knew some relationship is impossible,
yet they still cling onto that person.
they knew that some things will never happen,
yet they are willing to endure and wait for a miracle.

perhaps some things in life should be left unexplained, unanswered.
for that is what that makes us emotional and affectionate human beings.