with only sake wine for company

and today, is another short day in school like yesterday.

my only comments for the shoot today is,
"bring back my trusty M16".
now i know the very reason why a weapon used in vietnam war is still being widely used now.
the trusty M16 have low recoils and wider muzzle velocity.
what makes a rifle a good one isn't whether if it's equipped with a scope;
but whether the key factors are really affecting the shooter or not.
looks like the Singapore-style of thinking should not be used in the local technology.

and well, i have flag day tmr.
so my target is like i'm going to walk around the island;
who cares whether if there's any coins in my tin.
and there goes one good saturday that can be use for studying.

well, it's getting late, and getting darker;
many things cropped up so badly,
that makes me wonder if i still have the energy to carry on with all the shit in life.
fail in CCA, fail in studies, fail in the class, fail everywhere else...
sometimes, a mere mortal's stamina isn't that strong to go that long.
there's still a great length of the long run left.
well, this never-ending rat race killed many unwilling joggers.

i must say, i'm drunk.
not drunk by alcohol, but drunk by life.
made dizzy, unconscious, unclear by life.
little things here and there, together they make a big problem.

i always have a tendency to think a certain way,
as i have mention in my many post.
why did the world turn out such a way for me?
perhaps i found the one and only solution, or answer to this.
i am, just a mere sacrifice for those who can tahan the ever-changing world,
keeping up with the pace of this world, fighting to dominate over the losers.
well tell me, who wants to be a loser forever?

have been reading a lot on Communism nowadays.
i hated Communism to the core,
but now i see the point of why this idea was embraced by many.
because those that are defeated in life,
have nothing to their name; not a chance of revival.
but this equality system benefits them a lot.
alas, the human mindset isn't that advance to accept Communism, that's why it fails.

i'm drunk on life. drunk with all the shit going on.
drunk with all the obstacles that are biased to me.
drunk, to forget and escape reality,
to find an illusion-ed world of my own.
i'm terribly drunk.
drunk to escape the fact that not all mortals are born equal.

for times i thought its best for me to fight on with this hardships.
yet sometimes i thought of renouncing the mundane world,
and leave this earth to corrupt on its own.
i find myself rather self-contradicting;
the speeding world cause me to lose my true self.

sometimes, i forgot who i am.
forgot what is my true personality,
forgot what i'm like all the time.
forgot about how i usually behave.
forgot myself.

i don;t just want to be a mere sacrifice.
i want to have a chance, to shine, to fly.
like what all of you have.
chances that comes your way for you to shine, to fly.
all i want is, one chance.
one chance that makes me prove myself.

i'm more than what you expect me to be.