urban survivor

tomorrow's a friday.
well, a day when us, Part C, are finally holding a regular training.

somehow i have a few thoughts today.
i was just thinking a lot on human philosophy and psychology.
about why humans think a certain, why humans do a certain way.
and why, do many brand me with the word 'extraordinary'.
maybe today i found the answer; i found what i am seeking in life.

many people would like to say, live life.
no matter you'll live it how,
whether you spend everyday doing something useful,
or just slacking away and producing nothing;
many would live life the way they want it to be.
with an aim or not, days passed by, time wouldn't wait for us.

often in life we meet various obstacles and problems.
and of course, we get stuck for a moment, or we fell down.
that injury we got from falling down in life,
becomes a mark of motivation, to pull oneself up on his or her own,
then push oneself forward in life again.
but many a times, we are just blinded by what's in front of us,
being very goal oriented, or target oriented.
at that moment we fell down,
we ain't able to really taste the bitterness of falling down.
much less learning much from it,
because we are not looking at the situation.
all we want is to get out of the mess as soon as possible.

i came across various situation in life.
let's not talk about those days i turned from a kid into a teenage;
talked about now.
times i face situations, when i really fell down in life,
and had no chance to rise again.
an egoistic teenage with high ambitions once,
today i am someone who speaks little of those dreams,
and stick to what i should be doing.

many would question the authority above them,
and challenge it.
they had high held ambitions,
and get them achieved at the cost of any price.
many were people who viewed things in a mercenary way.
goal oriented; who cares who die in the process.

i would like to say, i might not love life.
but, i don't hate life.
for various tastes life had let me tasted along the way,
for many scenarios that life made me fell down one after another.
there are times when i was in high glory and honour,
listening to all the bootlicks from many,
and tasting the sweetness of success in life.

in the next moment, i fell from where i am;
never did i do anything that attracted unscrupulous men to me,
and i got rid off from my position.
i stood a low man, swallowing shame and humiliation,
earning anger and hatred in my heart.
bitter was all that filled me in those days;
for various deeds i done in the past,
were all scrubbed off cleanly with malignity by others.

but that was what that makes life perfect.
if life was all along a game of victory,
then there will be no purpose of coming to this Earth.
life, is not a waste of time, nor a game to win;
its a sightseeing, of everything in you, around you, beside you.

for in the last i would raise my fist in any insult;
today i would swallow that ego of mine that is worth nothing.
for direct words and ugly comments that flew into my face,
they turn into mirrors that makes me someone good in life.
shame and humiliation from various obstacles,
told me not to commit the same mistakes again,
and to always keep peace in myself, as well as others.

i went to school with a gloomy feeling,
and looking at all the superficiality of mankind.
those around me, those that walked past me.
i just found out that everything in this universe worked the same way.
a weak seedling would take time and chance to grow into a strong tree.
a huge and sturdy wall would fall after decades and centuries.
the weak would take time to grow strong,
and the strong would come to an end after all.

i realised that all these similar in things were the roots of everything.
the same root.
and this root was born from Tao.
for everything worked the same way like any others,
that's why we often can put things into comparison,
because Tao exist in them to make them worked for at least 1% of the same way.

so many obstacles brought me to understand many perception,
and so many perception brought me into one theory.
for i understand what links everything together.

i want to taste life tomorrow again,
like how i tasted it the same way today.
there's more for me to find out in the next 70 years of life.