where?

Black Eyed Peas' 'Where Is The Love?',
quite an old song,
but everytime i listen to it,
it always sends me into deep thoughts.
well, where are all the love,
care, concern, that suppose to be in this world,
had exactly gone to?

life's nowadays not really that good after all;
some problems still exist, and then, new problems are coming.
many shit happens in life all the time;
its either force or diplomacy that get things going.

i was just thinking about ZHSS 'student of the term' award today;
i remember once me and ck ng gathered with some councillors,
to discuss about the nominees for the award.
and then we nominated a few people...
erm, jonathan, chang jun, and even tuesday! my gawd.
but it doesn't really please me when the list of nominees,
all turn out not to be the ones we discussed;
somemore the winner is a councillor.
i really want to tell the school management,
把那个戏服脱下来！

and then, sometimes, i really want to question about CE lessons in ZHSS.
character education.
suppose we are to learn to have good character,
not to pick up litter in HDB estates,
and then do other bo liao stuff,
which can't help us to improve our character.
sometimes i feel that the school is heading the wrong side;
they are heading towards fame and sort.
i want a school that makes me feel comfortable,
not with a high aggregate.

just realised how alone i am in school all the time.
i'm all by myself during recess,
and in class, sort of, sort of.
things doesn't really matters that much when i'm alone;
because i found out that i can do a work that needs a manpower of 10.

sometimes i began to wonder;
a lot of things in life is not up to you to decide.
many a times, we can't choose our own fate.
but then, yet many are willing to risk their lives,
to buy that decision over their lives.
slowly i began to understand;
they rather die for a worthy cost of buying the freedom to make choices,
than to live like a slave under other's orders.

for some time in life,
i went around questioning the existence of justice, morals, etc.
till now then i realised many of this doesn't exist naturally;
we used the fist or blade to get them in place,
which is quite a sad thing.

and for some times,
i really envy others for having ordinary things.
to have friends around them, to have a bitter sweet BGR,
to have a little music or art talent, etc.
what god gave me naturally is different.
he gave me an ability to intercept thoughts,
and an ability to write.
perhaps that was what sometimes many wanted;
but to know how other feels,
it's usually a sad thing.

by the way, tomorrow is POP.
soon, from follower, i'll turn into a little leader.
time to get some more improvement.